Australians have weird courtship rituals

I'm glad I won't be looking for a date while I'm in Australia. Although now I'm a little concerned that if I get a little beer froth on the moustache, I might drive the ladies wild.

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Why don't we see more of that in creationist/IDiot videos? Follow the evidence, they say...

Oh, right, it's only the "proper evidence" that they insist that we follow.

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

By Glen Davidson (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

So animals in Australia want either to kill you or make love to you.

Do you get a choice?

Happy birthday PZ!

I think some attention from the ladies (or at least the Pharyngula brigade) would be in evidence anyway, with or without beer froth, upon seeing the size of your...

... intellect.

Cheers (hopefully raising a beer at Chloe's Bar on Friday!), PML

Happy birthday, PZ!

And Bon Voyage.

By Menyambal (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

So animals in Australia want either to kill you or make love to you.

Nicely sums up my married life...:-)

Happy Birthday, PZ !!

By Rorschach (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

PZ, have a safe trip and I hope it's as comfortable as it can be. This of course will be more likely if you aren't flying with that international carrier of arrogant arseholes, Qantas. ( my personal picks for international travel are best, Emirates, worst, Al Italia, most suprised-I-survived, Air China)

..hopefully we'll see you at Chloe's bar at Young and Jackson's on Friday. I'll be the one that Rorschach and Wowbagger are having to prop up in the corner.

By Bride of Shrek OM (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

@4 Yes, I was getting it too. I'm glad someone got a screen capture. I don't know how to do it on the Mac offhand.

( my personal picks for international travel are best, Emirates, worst, Al Italia, most suprised-I-survived, Air China)

Worst : Cathay Pacific
Best: Singapore Airlines, no fucking contest, even if you're not a foot fetishist(four words: mandatory red toenail polish)
Most surprised I survived : Aeroflot

By Rorschach (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Actually on reflection I will revise that. Singapore Airlines are pretty awesome and I always travel with them when I go on my regular sashays to SE Asia as they have a great route schedule.

...of course my next husband is going to be a billionaire so I'll be flying private jets and all of this economy class misery will be a thing of the past anyhow.

By Bride of Shrek OM (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

@Zeno: Some of the spiders have similar habits to some of our north American spiders - they'll do both, and I'm not convinced there's a choice.

By MadScientist (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Zeno/MadScientist

After my unfortunate run in with a redback spider last week I took it upon myself to do a bit of research about the critter (know thy enemy and all that crap). It would seem that the male redback is one of only 2 spiders known to engage in assisted canabilisation after the mating process.

If I'm correct in my reading he kind of "flips" himself in a little 8 legged somasault over the girly spider during the mating process and lets her eat him while she's getting it on. That is simultaneously the most disgusting and most intriguing thing I have ever read. The theory is that this is an evolutionary advantage to him in that while she's all post coitally tucked up digesting her previous lover she's not out rooting other blokes and getting impregnated by them.

It seems kind of lame to me but who am I to talk- I eat Toblerone in bed after sex and it has pretty much the same effect.

By Bride of Shrek OM (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

We'll only laugh if you pick an ugly one mate.

UFC (Ultimate Fighting Camels) coming soon on Fox!

Happy Birthday, P.Z.!

By Ye Olde Blacksmith (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Bride of Shrek @ #12:

I'm not sure I will ever be able to retort "Eat Me!" the same way again. :)

By Ye Olde Blacksmith (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Hmm... got an interesting google ad while watching this: 'People mate with animals' Click for...

By John Olthoff (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Best: Air NZ (international)
Worst: Monarch
Surprised-I-survived: Air NZ (domestic)

By les.gates (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Just to make sure that you can speak to the Aussies on equal terms (You have to speak in sports mode) please remind our Australian cousins that the USA are the reigning Olympic champions at Rugby.

Strange but nevertheless true:

http://www.irb.com/rugbyandtheolympics/history.html

1924 Paris Olympics

The 1924 Olympic Rugby competition commenced on the opening day, May 4, with the match between hosts France, by that time seasoned Five Nations campaigners, and Romania, newcomers at international level and making their maiden Olympic appearance. Not unexpectedly, the French dispatched the newcomers from Eastern Europe by a record margin of 61 points to 3 – according to some sources the score was actually 59-3 – scoring a record 13 tries in the process. The walkover win must have given the French players and public a sense of invincibility and high expectations, exacerbated by an intense and partisan media campaign.

On the following Sunday, May 11, the US team comprehensively defeated Romania, at Stade Colombes, though the Romanians defended gamely and managed to limit the score to 39-0, with the Americans scoring only eight tries. The defeat ended Romania’s campaign in the Olympics, but secured them the bronze, their first-ever Olympic medal. The Olympic final was played at the same Stade Colombes in Paris on May 18, before a strongly partisan crowd of about 50,000. The Americans surprised their hosts and the crowd with their pace, skill and tackling and won 17-3 scoring five tries to France’s solitary effort.

By Moveable Type (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

Oh, I nearly forgot. Have a great birthday, you don't look too bad for a young'un, but I don't agree that yer might look like a bull camel wiv a bit'o froth on yer upper lip.

At my age I don't have birthdays; it's only a number and not a state of mind!!

By Moveable Type (not verified) on 08 Mar 2010 #permalink

OK...now? Happy birthday!

Yay, camels!

"Serious pests"? :(

@ BoS, OM, #12

Glad I'd finished my coffee when I read your comment, or I'd be in the market for a new keyboard. Mmm... Toblerone.

@ Moveable Type, #19

He's coming to Melbourne, we care not for rugby. (Even if our local side won the premiership last year.)

@ SC, OM, #21

A lot of Afghan camels were brought over in the 19th century (one of my distant relations named Burke used a lot of them on an ill-fated expedition to cross the continent from south to north and back) but many escaped into the wild and are now feral.

@Lesgates

Surprised-I-survived: Air NZ (domestic)

Hah! reminds me of a flight from Christchurch to Dunedin one late in the year Easter in one of the old Fokker Friendships (twin engined turboprop, roughly 30 seater). All the way was into the teeth of a howling Southerly (straight off the pole so cold for you northern hemisphereites). That bird shook and rattled so much the stewardess had to shout to be heard. I felt sure that under industrial safety regulations she should have been wearing ear defenders. I know I wanted a pair.

It was almost a relief to get out on the tarmac at Momona, except that Friendships didn't get air bridges so we got hit full on by that Southerly as, with young kids and bags in hand we walked to the terminal building.

I'm with you on Air NZ International though, getting on the plane at Heathrow and that air of relaxed efficiency just washed over and relaxed me. I felt at home already.

By Peter Ashby (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

... if I get a little beer froth on the moustache, I might drive the ladies wild.

To me, it looks more like something out of your own country, PZ - American teenagers chewing gum.

Best: Singapore Airlines, no fucking contest, even if you're not a foot fetishist(four words: mandatory red toenail polish)
Most surprised I survived : Aeroflot

We have a winner! When you can see the outside of a plane through the fuselage, you know it's got an 'Aeroflot' sign on the outside... I never got the foot massage on Singapore, though - still, I was in the cheap seats.

Yes, I am definitely planning to step outside the confines of the convention and meet strange Australians at some bar at various points in my journey. I'll be a bit addled from the time change, so if someone sees me, grabs my elbow, and leads me somewhere, I'll probably go with them. Which proposes some worrisome hazards...

Strange Australians? I resemble that remark!

Wait--camels aren't native Australian beasts--neither the dromedary nor the Bactrian.

Happy Birthday PZ!

By recovering catholic (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

Happy 53, PZ!

It's not easy to out-gross bull elephant seals, but I do believe Mister Froth-n-Slobber (with inflatable mucosal lagniappe) has done it.

Cripes, I wonder what the stuff smells like.

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

In a few thousand years, creationists will probably have developed similar mating behaviours.

What, all that build up and they don't mention the tail-urination? Male camels piss on their tails and splash it all over themselves to "advertise" for the ladies.

PZ, if I spot a camel wearing glasses on my next trip across to Perth how much will you pay me not to put pictures on the web?

He's coming to Melbourne, we care not for rugby. (Even if our local side won the premiership last year.)

Dude, the Storm play Rugby League. Moveable Type was talking about real rugby. You know - the one where the scrums actually achieve something and at least some of the players have necks and functional brains.

That said, even as a Sydney girl, I prefer the lovely tall men of the AFL. Best. Shoulders. Ever.

Aaah, to be back in 2005.

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

Luckily for me, my Aussie wife's mating ritual involved a radio interview, a listener contest, the opera "The Merry Widow" and bicycles. If I'm really pushed I can work up a good spit flecked rant but that's about it, no real froth to speak of.

By FossilFishy (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

PZ, just so you know what you're going to be dealing with, here's a little tale a shirt-tail cousin from Oz sent a while ago:

The scene is set, a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots sitting by the campfire, one from Australia, one from South Ifrika and one from New Zulland. Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous. The night of tales begins...

Kiven the Kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends"

Hansie from South Africa who typically can't stand to be bettered said,"Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from undera rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body downin one gulp. End I'm still here today!!!"

Bazza, the Aussie, remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.

By Alexander the … (not verified) on 09 Mar 2010 #permalink

@ recovering catholic, # 27

Indeed, not native, first brought here circa 1860.

@ Yahoo:ZKuoh_..., # 33

Sort of proves the point, I imagine a large number of Melburnians PZ might meet would consign either league or union (or whatever strange manifestation of the game is cited) to the mental oblivion of not giving a rats. On the other hand, if you want a possible conversational gambit, just mention that this might be the year for the Bulldogs... ;) (The converse example of the recognition of cricket in the USA, as opposed to the obsession with baseball, goes to show all such favouritisms are relative.)

So animals in Australia want either to kill you or make love to you.

Do you get a choice?

Only which of the two actions happens first

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 10 Mar 2010 #permalink