Enter this sweepstakes!

I wouldn't enter this contest because the risk of 'winning' is too high. I would have to kill myself if I won because I would die from the stupid talking to Chopra so I would rather choose a nicer way to die.

I'll enter, hoping to win one of the other prizes. But if I win the ultimate, could I take the cash equivalent?

@leepicton
What would the cash equivalent of a meeting with Chopra buy you?
A pack of Skittles?

Reminds me of those old jokes about the DDR lotery:

First prize: A TRABI!

What's the second prize then?

TWO TRABIS!

I don't know, maybe it's at the lip of the Grand Canyon, and you get to push him over.

Anyway, that's the only way I can fathom that it'd be a prize worth winning.

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

If I win Chopra, can I ask him to use his contacts with the Field of Consciousness to intent me a complete kitchen makeover and set of appliances from Amana, with a $5000 gift card?

As for "rejuvenating my spirit" in his "Seduction of the Spirit Retreat" -- yeah, right. I've heard that one before. Nice try, Cosmic Cupcake.

Ah nuts, I can't enter, not being resident in the USA. I've missed my opportunity to win having someone pour stoopid acid into my ears and dissolve my brain.

If you win the biggie, just bring a pie to you meeting with Cheepak Dopra. A big creamy one that you can try to get him to eat in one bite.

I wouldn't enter this contest because the risk of 'winning' is too high. I would have to kill myself if I won because I would die from the stupid talking to Chopra so I would rather choose a nicer way to die.

That was my reaction. After I finally stopped laughing. The risk of winnning the grand prize is just to great for me.

Deepak to the front of me, a gigantic herring in my right hand what could possibly go wrong?

Oh only open to USians..............bugger

Chopra's spirit is the only thing about him that is rejuvenated. Money can do that. The rest of him seems to be aging along with the rest of us. I can't risk winning - I can't handle such a massive dose of dumb-ass all at once.

Time Magazine heralds Dr. Chopra as one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century and credits him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine."

wait... hero? CREDITS him?

just another indication of the worthlessness of Time Magazine.

Dammit, Prime, I had managed to stop laughing and you made me spill ginger ale again.

Wow. I could really, REALLY use that kitchen make-over. But I guess I could sell the Chopra meeting to one of my hippie friends... They have more money than me anyway.

I'm entering as soon as I post with the sincere hope that a) I win any real prize and b) failing that, I win the meeting with Deepak so I can tell them I'll pass on meeting with the kook.

I'm sure that would be great publicity.. that their grand prize winner said he wouldn't waste his time.

Second though.. it'd be fun to schedule the meeting and send some random mentally troubled homeless person.
I don't mean to disparage the homeless, I really don't. It's a reality that a significant number of the perennially homeless have mental issues and It's an unfortunate reality that we've emptied our mental health facilities onto the streets to save money.

It would be suiting so send someone with a tenuous grasp of reality to meeting with Chopra. A meeting that the airline would like to publicize. At a minimum it would give some unfortunate sole at least a good meal or two and maybe a day of getting pampered.

... can the grand prize be traded in for one of the "lesser" prizes?

Look on the bright side, your risk of winning the ultimate prize (has that ever been called a risk before?) is probably quite low.

The very worst prize in their whole list is what they're calling the "ultimate" prize?

hehe.

Personally, if I won the "ultimate" prize I'd just try to trade it with one of the other winners or auction it off or do anything to get something else out of it.

No point trying to explain to Chopra why he's fill of shit. As the old saying goes, it's hard to get someone to understand something if their paycheck depends on them not understanding it. And he gets a pretty big paycheck.

If PZ wins, I'll give him some back issues of Skeptical Inquirer to whop Chopra across the nose with, while saying "bad fraud, bad fraud".

Look on the bright side, your risk of winning the ultimate prize (has that ever been called a risk before?) is probably quite low.

Knowing how my luck runs (bad) I'd win it just this one time. The idea of asking for a lesser prize is very tempting though.

Doesn't "ultimate" mean Last? The opposite of "First Prize" is "Last Prize" Very fitting.

I entered anyway for the tiny shot at howling at Chopra face-to-face for a little while.

Now that—forgive me PZ for I am weak and I cannot resist the temptation—would be art.

Seduction Of Spirit Retreat?

I can't help thinking that's going to involve Jesuits fiddling with the contents of your trousers.

After you enter, there's a screen that tells you to tell all your friends to enter. Hell no! I don't want the competition!

If I win the Deepak, I will hand it over to PZ for the price of a complete shakedown post. And maybe video.

10 Vespas total. One per week. Not ten per week.

Bummer.

A bad Vespa/Chopra ratio, if you ask me.

Could I require Chopra to mow my lawn? That might be worth it.

Don't pass on Chopra if you win! If you request another prize they simply bump up a second place winner, likely some credulous fool who will be parasitized by woo.

Personally, if I won the "ultimate" prize I'd just try to trade it with one of the other winners or auction it off or do anything to get something else out of it.

Not allowed.

"Deepak Chopra" and "seduction" should never be in the same sentence. I'm not entering b/c I don't want to give away my info, but if I were to win the Deepak Chopedliver meeting, I'd turn it down and/or sell it on Ebay.

If I win, will you write a scathing letter that I can read to him?

OK, I entered because the less-than-ultimate prizes are appealing. Should I win the "ultimate" prize, I'm planning to give it to you, PZ, and expect that you'll happily accept and then blog about the experience.

Aww, just screw with his mind pea-brain and see if you can make him have a melt-down. Getting him to rant would be *cool*.

Could I require Chopra to mow my lawn? That might be worth it.

Knowing him he'll just sit there and start lecturing the lawn mower:

"The cutting of the grass starts with a punctuated equilibrium over the quantum consciousness of the soul and the superimposition of wave-particle blades are entangled with the singularity of the big bang universe. The blades of grass are us and we are the blades of grass."

He will then charge the lawn mower $10,000 for that.

I'd love to win that prize. The opportunity to tell Chorpa to his face that he's a fraud and an idiot...

Well, the kitchen upgrade would be more interesting. And I like Vespas.

But, you have to take the skeptic opportunities when they come, yes?

If I sign in and win the Ultimate Prize, can I give my meeting with Deepak to PZ?

Awww, we can't. "No transfer or cash equivalent of any prize allowed except at Sponsor’s sole discretion."

The trip to see Chopra probably involves a plane ticket and a nice hotel. And the opportunity to stand up Chopra. It's not all bad.

Wait a minute... you mean the same JetBlue that was sued for forcing a passenger to sit out the flight on a toilet, or the same JetBlue charged with anti-Arab racial profiling? Aw heck, I'll enter anyway. I'd love to take The Count to the Sonoran desert. I've been to it several times when I visited Tucson, Arizona. I love Tucson.

If I win the meeting with Deep Shit I'll let you know. :)

What if you win a Vespa? What then Huh?? You'll just have to howl at the Vespa instead. Do you have a motorcycle license? Bet you don't need one for vespas in the 'states.
I hear, though, that Vespas are a little like the esteemed Mr. Chopra; occasionaly getting all emotional and complicated when all you really need is to get where you're going.

I'm some some of you out there would know better than me, but I can't seem to find Deepok Chopra anywhere in the June 1999 Time 100 magazine, which this contest (and wikipedia plus the two sources wiki cited) claim he is listed at a member of the top 100 heroes and icons.

Heck, even the premise of "top 100" seems to be wrong. From what I can tell, Time doesn't do a top 100; they do a "most influential" or "top heroes and icons" of the past 100 years.

So I'm not really sure where people are getting the idea that Deepak Chopra was listed as an icon or hero in Time magazine.

/Perhaps I'm wrong?

Seriously if you win 1st prize go for it! It'll be so funny watching him spew bollocks and getting told how wrong he is!

A Vespa would be such a very fantastic prize.

The only item from Time I can find mentioning Chopra during the year 1999 is this one:

If your age or disposition keeps you from club hopping, here's a tip: two of the hottest songs the kids are dancing to are spoken-word texts with a disco beat

SONG: Do You Love Me

CONCEIVED BY: Deepak Chopra, author of Perfect Digestion: The Key to Balanced Living and Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

CHANTED BY: Famous actress Demi Moore

BASED ON THE WRITINGS OF: Rumi, a 13th century Persian scholar

PROVENANCE: New Age guru Chopra gathered some of his Hollywood pals, including Moore, Madonna, Martin Sheen and Goldie Hawn, to record some of Rumi's love poems. Taken with Moore's track, a Staten Island, N.Y., musician added a techno beat

SAMPLE LYRIC: "I love myself; I love you; I love you; I love myself"

Boo-hoo! "Sweepstakes open to legal residents of the fifty (50) United States and the District of Columbia who are 18 years or older at the time of entry." It would have been so awesome to discuss world politics and the newest Ufomammut album with Deepak and ride my 10 Vespas to the sunset.

Saying Chopra's books are "about" quantum mechanics is like saying the movie The Matrix is about programming.

Do you think they meant to say "global farce?"

So if you meet with the guy, since it's a prize you won, do you have to pay taxes based on what his per hour private consultation time would be?

Talk about your basic Pyrrhic victory. You win a prize, but lose all those brain cells by having to talk to that moron.
I live right next to Jet Blue corporate HQ; this makes me want to stand outside and stop everyone going into the building to ask which one of those brain-geniuses came up with such a dumb prize. And then to lobotomize the poor sucker and put him/her out of our misery.

I'd accept the grand prize, but I'd bring James Randi with me.

I sent something to PZ and he posted it! (Dies of happiness)

Time Magazine heralds Dr. Chopra as one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century and credits him as "the poet-prophet of alternative medicine."

There seems to be a problem with this claim.

Time Magazine picked the Top 100 Most Important People of the Century, which isn't a problem.

The issue is that they picked 20 people in 5 categories.

20 x 5 = 100

And the Heroes & Icons top 20 does NOT list Deepak Chopra.

http://205.188.238.181/time/time100/index_2000_time100.html

http://205.188.238.181/time/time100/heroes/

This must mean that he was one of the 100 from that category, and of those 100, only 20 were picked for inclusion in the actual Top 100 list.

So for all we know, the dumbass ranked in at 100 on the list and barely made it.

But he sure seems to be milking it for all it is worth.

Just search google for Time Magazine + the poet-prophet of alternative medicine.

There are 9520 results, along with a link to this post by Dr. M, but after scanning the first 10 pages of results, none of them are from Time Magazine itself.

Almost all of them are woo based articles with the same quote.

There are many reasons my latest copy of Time predates the Apollo 11 launch. Not even moon pics could get me to subscribe again.

It might not be so bad to win the Ultimate Prize.

I've been known to go off in an unexpected direction from time to time, chasing some bounding rabbit of a notion. Occasionally that chase will pull up short and bounce in some other direction. Listeners sometimes begin to express the first signs of confusion or listlessness. Depak is different. He listens on a higher whole other level.

I'm considering the possibility that I could talk such rich shit to Depak that within a week or so traces of my lures and implications would start to show up in his ongoing stream-of-consciousness-random-association screed. Like that Woody Allen character who absorbed knowledge from his immediate company, Depak would start becoming me. My influence would flow through him out upon the world, borne on the soft voice of Depak, destined for many willing ears . . .

Wow. That would be power . . . of a small and tawdry sort. Still, my notion is intriguing.

'Ware the Ultimate Anything!

Also, am I the only one who thinks that offering to fly people places is a strange "green" prize? Airline travel- not exactly green.

It's a good thing they didn't push it any further and offer a mega-super-duper-colossal prize, which at this rate would involve a hot date with a starving, rabid wolverine.

You act like that's worse than meeting Chopra.

PFFNNGH. Deepak Chopra was all over the TV today here in Oz. Saw him on Kerri-Anne's morning show and nearly projectile-puked all over the TV.

OKay, I entered, but I just want to make sure that, If I win the Ultimate Prize, y'all will set up some kind of pay-pal account or something to make my bail when I punch the doofus in the balls.
Or, indeed, any of our other entrants, as I fail to see how any of the regulars here would not just haul off and paste the bastard.

This a perfect oportunity to counter some of the woo he purveys.

I can't help thinking that this should be drawn to the attention of Orac's "friend". If he won, the resulting exchange would be even more awesome than if PZ won!

Hmm, the prizes just get better as you go down the list. Deepak first - worthless (negative worth?) Kitchen equipment whose refrigerator alone would occupy my entire kitchen, a holiday on the desert (no thanks), then some decent holidays, worth entering - if I lived in the US. I'll pass, thanks.

OK crew need help with info on the Bull shit known as monavie?

sry off topic.

If I was able to enter from the UK, and happened to win the Chopra booby prize, I would accept said "prize", turn up at the publicity event, then declare to the gathered press that "Deepak Chopra's arse gets jealous of the amount of shit that spews from his mouth"

Hmm, hot date with a starving, rabid wolverine... sounds good. Not too much different from what I'm used to.

Well, can I punch him in the face and film it with my cell phone for upload to Youtube without getting charged with assault? That might be worth more than $10,000 to me.

Maybe the winner could ask him about spherical harmonics. Sounds somewhat woo-ish, he might start talking his usually nonsens, but it's real quantum mechanics. You know, the stuff physicists use, with equations and everything.

I entered, but despite the lure of punching Deepak Chopra in the balls (or anywhere else), I think that should I win their "ultimate" prize, I'll just go, stay in the fancy hotel, and go do things I find interesting during the day while everyone else gets their daily dose of woo with him. If anyone asks why I'm not showing up for his "seduction", I'll happily fill their ear with my opinion of the shit he spews on a regular basis.

And totally off-topic, this Open ID stuff is driving me crazy with the user name I used to have now being replaced with the giant, unweildy URL.

Am I the only one who mis-read

Dr. Chopra is a global force in the field of human empowerment

as

Dr. Chopra is a global farce in the field of human entertainment

This is a very clever prize indeed. Guaranteed to make a very PR-worthy soundbite even if it goes wrong.

(Scene: Shortly after the conclusion of the Close Encounter of the Chopradelic Kind. The Winner is smiling tiredly at the camera.)

INTERVIEWER: So, tell us --- what was it like?

WINNER: I --- I am so happy right now. God, I'm so happy to be alive. You don't know what joy it is to be out here in the open sunlight before you've been there inside with Him. I have no words. I have no words. Indescribable --- thousand shapes --- burning eyes --- maelstrom-of-woo --- it was the unnamable!

INTERVIEWER: We can use the first part, but could you sound a little more upbeat? Less of the raggedy tiredness and nervous shaking. And please put sunglasses on or something, you're crying blood. Here's homeopathic remedy against bloody tears, left over from the previous winner ---

Huh. Yanks only. Disappointing.

Oh come one guys, don't be afraid of winning. The power of Pharyngulation suggests that we should be able to strongly skew the odds in favor of a skeptic winning that top prize. I bet the vacation at Chopra's spa is pretty good otherwise, and you get to sit down and tell Chopra what an idiot he is. That possibility and the fact that it relieves some idiot of an opportunity to get swayed by Chopra woo and give him more money makes it an obligation that you enter this contest.

Although I would really prefer the kitchen makeover, I could use it.

Aww nuts. I'm in Canada, so the entry form won't let me sign up.

Now I'll -never- get to see Deepak. How sad...

Guess I'll just have to get over it.

There. I'm over it.

You're all so NEGATIVE.
I'm sure you can really learn valuable things from the man during a one-on-one!
(How to get rich quick, how to bilk the most money from the most people in the least amount of time... things like that).
Be POSITIVE!

Ohhh, the problem is MUCH worse than that! I've had two Amana refrigerators in the past couple of years - they don't work, either.

The bottom half of the fridge part froze everything, and then, when they quit working, it smelled like something died in the house.

PZ, I hope you win the ultimate prize. It would provide an unparalleled opportunity to corner him. And he can't escape - you WON him! :D

faisons @ 72,

are you the person who posted this under the nick "faison" at YNH :

Keep criticizing Pharyngula and see how far it gets you. PZ will fuck your blog in the throat with a bloody knife and make sure you don’t have a reputation anymore, for what your bullshit reputation is for anyways. That’s what we do to people who criticize us.

If yes, I would like to see you banned from here.

Dr. Chopra is a global force in the field of human empowerment and the prolific author of fourteen bestsellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality and peace.

Wow, I didn't even realize there was a field called "human empowerment". And a book about quantum mechanics? From Chopra?! No way. The last time I fell for something like that I learned nothing about motorcycle maintenance and even less about Zen.

I'd like to win him just so I could give him away.

I don't think people are creative enough. I think winning the Chopra prize might be fun!

I would have the opportunity to do everything I could to piss Deepak off. Call him a liar, ask hundreds of annoying (for him) questions, laugh out loud at the stupidity. Basically, everything I could to get thrown out. And once I've been thrown out, I complain to the company that they haven't met their obligations with regards to my prize, so I'd like another please. Then I'd have a real prize AND had the opportunity to laugh in Chopra's face!

I don't know if that would work, but then I can't enter and find out from up here in Canada. Oh Well.....

I entered, but if I win the Chopra prize you had BETTER take it off my hands Dr. Myers! Not so sure I would want the Dominican Republic vacation either for fear I might bump into Rush Limbaugh debauching small children.

It's so unfair that only US residents can join in the fun. What if you all had a US address? How about using PZ's office address? The AAI offices? 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Washington D.C? (No, I guess President Obama is too busy to forward mail.)

It's pretty apparent that anyone going for the bacon, in this contest, is already a wiener. :)