I'll be in Portland, Oregon this weekend for the Northwest Freethought Conference, which I'm sad to say, is completely sold out. You procrastinated, didn't you? You dawdled over making the decision, and now it's too late — you're going to have to stay home and weep sadly over lost opportunities, and you'll try to drown your regrets in a bottle or two of cheap wine. Then you'll wake up Sunday morning feeling nauseous and wishing you could take it all back and fly straight and focused, and you'll resolve to make your life better and more purposeful. So there is that.
If it'll make you feel better, my talk is all sciencey and anti-teleological, so it might make your head hurt, too. Go ahead and rationalize your lost chances by telling yourself it's going to suck, anyway.
You could also run over to the SkeptiCal site and sign up for their 29 May conference in Berkeley. It doesn't have me in the lineup, but you know you'll always have me right here, on the intertubes.