DARPA's Real Quantum Project?

From the Uncyclopedia entry on computers:

How Computers Work

Inside a computer case is a midget that intakes power and outputs graphics. On an average computer, this is an average male midget. High end computers contain baby giraffes or sometimes Links (which will periodically shut down, some blame this on power consumption, but this is actually due to the Links leaving the computer in order to save Zeldas from Gilbert Gottfrieds). Cheaper Hewlett-Packard computers generally come standard with a retard midget. Macs and Dells run on magnets which make them better then anything else! Rumors have surfaced recently that DARPA is working on a computer that runs on zombie midgets, the name for this project is quantum computing. But this does not include Mall Zombies.