My Life Is Weird

1) If you search Amazon for my name, you get four results: the book-in-production, two books where I'm mentioned in the acknowledgments, and a fourth book where I am apparently cited as a source for the "assume a spherical cow" joke.

2) Weirdly, I have a fan site, of sorts. I have no idea who's responsible for that.

3) The publicity copy on the inside cover of the bound galleys starts out:

In the New York Times bestselling tradition of Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, author Chad Orzel uses the seemingly ordinary-- a family pet-- to explore and explain the complex and deeply cool world of quantum physics.

Oh, yeah: we have bound galleys:

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Woo-hoo! Real book-looking book-type things!

Emmy thinks they need some seasoning-- a little cheese, a little bacon, something-- but she got some treats, so it's all good.

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"The New York Times bestselling author of the New York Times bestselling Da Vinci Code would undoubtedly recognize that renowned physicologist Chad Orzel is in the New York Times bestselling tradition of such New York Times bestselling books as those written by New York Times bestselling author Stephen Hawking."

OMG! A competitor used a platypus! You must immediately up the ante to survive: How to Teach Physics to Your Giant Flying Vampire Toad. Get Norman Spinrad for the blurb. Inure yourself to being banned in Florida (God's waiting room).

My analytical model of Norman Spinrad for the blurb of Chad Orzel's book.

"Dogs Dig Einstein: Pictures at 11. I knew Chad Orzel back when I custom made his basketball-rugby sandals in Greenwich Village, He was weird then, and he's weird now, despite his being domesticated by a genre-actute wife and a prodigy dog. Sex, basketball, and rock & roll are the obvious subtext to a 'Fantasy With Rivets' about bunnies made of cheese in a multiverse. As the lunatic said, accosting Dan Rather: 'What is the frequency, Kenneth?' In this case the Fourier Analysis shows spectral lines of deep characterization, and unforgettable view-point voice (can a voice have a view?) deconstructing the revolutions of Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. And I do mean Revolution. As in Sexual Revolution. As in Political Revolution. As in Artistic Revolution. My pick for the entangled Hugo-Nebula mashup!"

I can't tell if Emmy is thinking: "I'm supposed to correct the galley proofs? I'm a dog!"

or

"What a rip off. Scalzi tapes bacon to his pets. All I get is a book."

The fan site manages to combine being vaguely creepy with looking like it escaped from the late 90s.

By David Owen-Cruise (not verified) on 15 Jun 2009 #permalink