What keeps me moving forward?

Despite being the one to pick the topic for the upcoming Scientiae, I have struggled and struggled to come up with anything to post for this month's Carnival. As Alice alluded to earlier, I'm having a particularly tough month, feeling like I am treading water most of the time, and not making any headway against the current.

I tried to write a post in which I listed the things I had gotten done this month, but it was just too damn depressing. Especially when I compared that list to the optimistic list written on the whiteboard in my office. And even more depressing when compared to the list of tasks that Outlook reminds me about. According to Outlook, I should have had a paper submitted and another full draft written weeks, no months ago. So that post about how I am moving forward remains in draft status in Movable Type, and it will probably sit there buried in the detritus until the end of this blog.

Back to the drawing board, I contemplated writing a post about the revisions to one particular paper, and I how I was moving forward in the face of rejection, and each round of revision was truly making it a better paper and better science. But, damn, that depressing post never even made it out of my head, because I've had the latest rejection letter since March, and there's been no substantive change to the paper since then.

This morning I once again found myself contemplating my Scientiae theme and reading some of the great submissions y'all have been writing. (Keep 'em coming, even if you end up a bit after the deadline.) How am I moving forward? What keeps me moving forward? Dammit, I needed to write a post for the carnival; I wanted to be able to cross it off my list.

AHA! That's what keeps me moving forward on even the glummest of days. Making lists, checking them twice, finding out who's been naughty and nice and crossing things off those lists. I love lists.

• Bulleted.
• Numbered.
• Multi-colored.
• Black and white
• Digital.
• Post-it.
• White board.
• Notebook.
• Mental.
• To-do.
• Accomplished.
• Categorized.
• Made first thing in the morning.
• Made during seminars or meetings.
• Made at the end of the day.
• General tasks for the next few months.
• Detailed lists for the day.
• Lists with (realistic) timelines are even better.

The making and keeping of lists is, for me, a big part of what gives structure to an otherwise fairly unstructured job, especially in the summer. They help me balance multiple-projects at once, and they theoretically help me balance the urgent, unimportant versus the non-urgent, important tasks.

Part of what has made the past month so incredibly stressful was that I couldn't check things off lists. Actually, I couldn't even make lists of the things that needed to be done, because so many of things in my life were conditional on the behavior of others beyond my control. Fortunately, I am hopeful that this phase of the storm is about to pass, and I will regain some sense of control over my day-to-day life. (And don't worry, Minnow and I are OK.) In fact, I hope to finish June with a tangible sense of accomplishment and relief.

And now, whatever else occurs, I can check one thing off my list. Post for June Scientiae. Done. :)