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Our true selves can be revealed ...

By jlynch on November 8, 2006.

Now that it looks like the Senate is controlled by the Democrats, it is time to finally unveil our evil plan:

1. Mandatory homosexuality

2. Drug-filled condoms in schools

3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act

4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses

5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State

6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein

7. English language banned from all Federal buildings

8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups

9. All taxes to be tripled

10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated

11. On-demand welfare

12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish

13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems

14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning

15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8

16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor

17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery

18. God to be mocked roundly

19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN

20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement

21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy

22. Texas returned to Mexico

23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day

24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore

25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the brave"

I particularly like #23.

Tags
humor
Politics

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Could we move replacing the freeways with light rail systems up to the number one priority?

We'd need to consult with our Lord and Master, Satan.

By John Lynch (not verified) on 08 Nov 2006 #permalink

This is great! Up until now, I had only been able to find 12 of the 25 points in the plan. I had heard rumors that there were 25, and now you've confirmed it. I'm rather disheartened by #16 though, as I am in a coma right now (as you can probably tell). Unless they use the blenders I just discussed on my blog, there should be at least a few cells left.

#18 is my favorite, and I didn't wait for the election. Been doing it for years.

By Mustafa Mond, FCD (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

#23
Yeah ! That would be the MAD - Monkey Ancestrors Day

Let's do it! for december 25th, WorldWide, why should all the fun be for USA Democrats?

Okay, just a quick question for the sake of my hidey-hole, now that we are required to take our drug filled condoms to school, do we still have to hide them in "that" pocket? or will our pants pockets be okay?