parents

tags: facebook, twitter, internet, technology, cyber stalking, Onion News Network, ONN, humor, satire, fucking hilarious, streaming video There are times when I am grateful for having been shunned by my family since the age of fifteen: Christmas being the most notable among them. But the Onion News Network reminded me of yet another reason to be happy I don't have to deal with them: Facebook and Twitter! In this streaming video, 'E-Mom' Gloria Bianco shows Jim and Tracy how geographical distance is no longer a roadblock to shamelessly interfering with the lives of your children.

A study discussed over at Live Science confirms what I have always suspected: An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born. "Couples who do not have children also show diminished marital quality over time," says Scott Stanley, research professor of psychology at University of Denver. "However, having a baby accelerates the deterioration, especially seen during periods of adjustment right after the birth of a child." An unrelated study in 2006 of 13,000 people found parents are more depressed than non-parents.…

Babies can say volume without saying a single word. They can wave good-bye, point at things to indicate an interest or shake their heads to mean "No". These gestures may be very simple, but they are a sign of things to come. Year-old toddlers who use more gestures tend to have more expansive vocabularies several years later. And this link between early gesturing and future linguistic ability may partially explain by children from poorer families tend to have smaller vocabularies than those from richer ones. Vocabulary size tallies strongly with a child's academic success, so it's striking…