Scut Monkey
signout | March 12, 2007It's a very exciting week for residents all over the country. This Thursday, at exactly 12:00 EST, we find out who next year's chumps are--for this Thursday is Match Day.
It is a spectacle most powerful for the sheer simultaneousness of the reactions it elicits. The vindication for some, the crushing devastation of ego for others--I still shudder when I recall the faces in my medical school's big auditorium on Match Day. Words cannot express how happy I am to not have to sit in that sea of dread again, nearly sick to my stomach with hope.
It's a very different feeling, waiting to see the list…
signout | December 22, 2006Yesterday, I discharged 5 patients from the hospital. Today, I feel dead inside.
For patients, hospital discharge is a happy moment. Leaving the hospital means leaving behind the unflattering gown, the interrupted sleep, the food that does not resemble itself, and the constant parade of people poking and sticking and looking at your business. Most inpatients eagerly anticipate discharge from the moment they are admitted.
For residents, hospital discharges are a little different. Patients leaving the hospital require instructions, follow-up appointments, outpatient testing, prescriptions, and…
signout | November 21, 2006I was drinking my coffee unawares the other morning when I somehow got roped into a rather unpleasant exchange.
"I don't know if anyone's told you yet," said the blonde-haired senior resident who comes from money, "but your role in the NICU is to stay awake. Don't ever, ever go to sleep when you are on call. You need to be available to answer questions about the patients you're covering."
"That's bullshit," said the brown-haired senior resident with the eating disorder. "It's not like anyone ever comes to us with questions about our patients--they go straight to the nurse practitioners, who…
signout | July 17, 2006As part of our resident education program, there is an hourlong noontime conference at the hospital five days a week. The subject is usually something medical, like "Diagnosis and treatment of urinary tract infection in the elderly." Although you might expect us to resent these conferences, we usually don't: for some of us, it's the only didactic teaching we get during busy rotations, and when it's good teaching, it's really useful.
The other day, however, the subject was "Surviving Medical Residency." Apparently, it featured some guy nattering about how in residency, you have to make time…
signout | June 25, 2006I'm recovering from my first full call day in the medical intensive care unit, the MICU. Call in our MICU is a morning-to-morning shift, which means being awake all night, unless you can justify sleeping. It was a relatively quiet night for us, so we got about 5 hours of sleep-a full night's worth, more or less.
I made my first death pronouncement at 10:35 p.m. last night after a family withdrew care from a woman who was only 48 years old. I hadn't taken care of the patient at all; I just pronounced her as practice.
In the middle of the night, I mentioned to my residents that I was going to…