Silly Science

Late Breaking News *Orangutans Communicate As If They Were Playing Charades Hmmm, so let me get this straight. It looks like he's saying: "Give me a banana." But what he's really saying is: "It's Boogie Nights, you f%$#ing moron." Okay, got it. *Also, you'll be thrilled to know that researchers at the University of Austin have finally done the math and it turns out that there are not 100 . . . not 200 . . . but 237 distinct reasons that people have sex. Yeah. For reals: 237. It's science, people.
There are two kinds of silly science, folks. There's good silly science, exemplified this week by three high school kids who got together and decided the best way to fulfill their AP Psychology requirement was to rejigger a Britney Spears' video so it looked like she was singing a ballad about the occipital lobe. And then there's bad silly science. This week's winner in the bad silly science category? Brian Witcombe, a British radiologist, who burned through some of the tax payers hardearned cash to deliver this stunning revelation: Sword swallowers run a higher risk of injury when they are…
This week in Silly Science: *Attractive young psychology professor is stunned to discover that "it sucks to be rejected based on how you look." Three new studies spearheaded by University of Buffalo Assistant Professor Lora Park provide the "first known evidence that some people anxiously expect that they will be rejected by others because of their physical appearance," according to a January 27 article in Science Daily. But wait that's not all: Park's research also suggests that people who deem themselves unattractive are "preoccupied with their body and weight in unhealthy ways." Next…
This just in from the great minds at the University of Central Florida: Laws of physics, math debunk Hollywood portrayals of ghosts, vampires.Using Isaac Newton's Laws of Motion, [UCF researchers] demonstrated that ghosts would not be able to walk and pass through walls [and] basic math disproves the legend of humans turning into vampires after they are bitten . . . because the entire human population in 1600 would have been wiped out in less than three years. Time well spent guys--really.
A collection of scientific findings that make you go "duh"--or simply "huh?" It's been a banner week for sociologists people: Penn State's Beth Montemurro, assistant professor of sociology, has accomplished something no one thought possible: she's turned watching stupid television into a respectable profession. After extensive "research," Montemurro has established beyond a shadow of a doubt that 'Bachelorette' viewers aren't seeking reality. In other news, Sociologist Scott Yabiku of Arizona State University has "discovered" that "Lawns Make People Chatty." (Someone needs to check and see…
A new Neurontic feature, Sunday's Silly Science Roundup showcases scientific findings that make you go "duh." After spending a great deal of time and money, a group of researchers at University College London are willing to go out on a limb and say "Irrational Decisions are Based on Emotion." Hellbent on convincing the two remaining skeptics in the developed world, scientists from Dana-Farber Cancer Institute conducted a long-term study proving that "TV Watching Lowers Physical Activity." This just in from the great minds at the Montreal Neurological Institute: "Anticipation Heightens Smoker…