Woe's me!: conservatives can't find a candidate to back

The ultra-wingnuts at the Council for National Policy can't decide who to endorse:

Many conservatives have already declared their hostility to Senator John McCain of Arizona, …[who] once denounced Christian conservative leaders as “agents of intolerance,” and to former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani of New York, because of his liberal views on abortion and gay rights and his three marriages.

Many were also suspicious of former Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusetts … a dossier [circulated at the meeting attacked]… liberal elements of his record on abortion, stem cell research and gay rights.…

Gov. Mike Huckabee of Arkansas and Representative Duncan Hunter of California, … and Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas… had supporters, [but] many conservatives expressed concerns about whether any of the candidates could unify their movement or raise enough money to overtake the front-runners.

What do you do when the wingnuttiest candidates can't get elected, and the electable candidates aren't sufficiently wingnutty? Heck, even loony Sam Brownback encountered skepticism:

A spokesman for Mr. Brownback said he would not comment on the senator’s presentation … [O]thers who attended his speech said he received heavy applause for his emphasis on restricting abortion and amending the Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. But foes of illegal immigration objected to his support for a temporary guest worker program, and some faulted him for touching only briefly on the threat of Islamic terrorists, an increasingly central focus of the council and many social conservative groups since the Sept. 11 attacks.

So what can you do? Pray? Seek a miracle?

Or perhaps just apply standard wingnut ideology:

[Antitax advocate and dean of conservatives Grover] Norquist said he remained open to [Brownback, Hunter, Huckabee] or to Mr. Romney. He argued that with the right promises, any of the four could redeem themselves in the eyes of the conservative movement despite their past records, just as some high school students take abstinence pledges even after having had sex.

“It’s called secondary virginity,” Mr. Norquist said. “It is a big movement in high school and also available for politicians.”

I guess we'll see if it works any better among politicians than among high schoolers. Watch out for the anal sex!