Remember Me: A Lively Tour of the New American Way of Death
by Lisa Takeuchi Cullen
If there is one topic in America that will always be voted "Least Likely to Be the Source of Light-Hearted Banter Around the Dinner Table," it is death. According to the voting, the second-place finisher in this election is funerals. When it comes to politics we may be ready to unsheath our verbal swords and attack everyone, even Grandma, but when it comes to death - mum's the word. Death is taboo to the tongue. This is unfortunate in my opinion because given the likelihood of kicking the bucket on this planet (last reported as 100%), we all are eventually going to experience the trauma of the death of a loved one - not to mention our favorite person, namely Monsieur C'est Moi.
Now comes Time magazine reporter Lisa Cullen, who has taken a journalism assignment and turned it into a fascinating look at how the custom of saying bon voyage to a decedent has changed over the years. Who knew that so many of us are sick and tired (but not dead yet, thank you) of the traditional funeral service? Ms. Cullen's book explores the new alternatives not just to funerals but to the distressing task of packing up the mortal coil, now shuffled off, of our loved ones and disposing of it. She has a keen eye for interesting detail and a narrative voice containing both criticism and sympathy for the many strange encounters in her journey from the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans (filled with ashes) across this wonderful land where 6,584 of us die each day.
You may not find funerals to be the subject of the next Simon Cowell reality show, but considering what is on the telly these days I wouldn't be surprised if some producer gives it the green light. Oh, wait - it's already been done! Well then, if you've already seen the show - why not pick up the book?
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Well, I know what I'd like to be done with my own personal carcass:
Cremate me and use the ashes to fertilize a vegetable garden.
Then set up my monument beside the garden.
It should read "EAT ME".
The sad thing is that the closer you come to actually dying the less anyone wants to discuss the subject with you. When I was in chemotherapy I went to my lawyer to get advance directives and powers of attourneys, etc drawn up. At the time he was also undergoing chemo for hodgkins. We had a three hour talk about what we wanted to have happen and walked away feeling better because someone had actually listened without shushing us. I was sad that on his death, his wife ignored his wishes to the point of nullifying his DNR. I have threatened my children with haunting if they dare squander their inheritence on "the rolls royce of coffins and vaults".