The response for the "Things to avoid at all cost when speaking publicly" post was awesome, and so, I've tried to formalize the suggestions into a fairly definitive list. The ones that didn't make it tended to be more debatable, although admittedly, there are few in the list right now that sort of sit on the threshold of that parameter (I'm think about stuff like "winging it" or being "arrogant").
Anyway, the list can be viewed at the SCQ, but I'll reprint it here for your viewing pleasure.
- - -
Vomiting.
Aggressive sweating.
Evil powerpoint slides.
B.S.
Spitting.
Mumbling.
Multiple shots of that animal or flower you saw during your vacation, that yes, while interesting, does not need more than one slide in your talk.
Non-mocking, gratuitous product placements.
Fake accents.
Wardrobe malfunctions.
Being under the influence.
Slides depicting graphic surgical techniques (unless of course, your talk is about the said graphic surgical technique).
Being creepy.
Unnecessary math.
Intense body odor.
The font: Comic Sans.
Being dull.
Laughing nervously.
Laughing maniacally.
Wearing sunglasses for no apparent reason.
Not making eye contact.
Inappropriate bleeding.
Your phone ringing.
Significant use/exploration of body orifices.
Poor colour choice on slides.
Losing consciousness.
Sub optimal body fluid control.
Being too long.
Losing your dentures.
Excessive slide animations.
Revealing, distracting attire.
Apparent and/or perceived randomness.
Erections.
Spelling errors.
Overt, uncalled for arrogance.
Laser pointer abuse.
Embarrassing computer desktops (during setup or slideshow problem).
Not having a backup.
Packing heat.
Winging it.
Being an idiot.
Anyway, now comes the movie part. This, I'm thinking, will be a photo montage of all of these "things to avoid" with the appropriate text shown in the image. Presumably, many of these images will need to be staged, but I guess we'll just have to see how it turns out.
Oh yeah, the clown part? I was challenged to come up with a funny list, that would have the title "Reasons for tardiness (possibly clown related)." It wasn't easy, but my go at it can be seen at Listolepsy.
I shudder at what the photo for "erection" is going to be. Maybe a stratgically placed podium peripheral?