When "Brownian Motion" and "Bowel Movement" get mixed up...

... it's kind of funny.

Properties I Learned In Math Class On Brownian Motion (BM), with Explanations.


- - - -

1. BMs come in two forms: "standard" and "multidimensional"

2. Law of large numbers: expected distance traveled during a BM = 0

3. Scaling: a scaled up BM is still a standard BM, it'll just take longer to get where you're going

4. Strong Markov property: the flow of BMs in the future are unaffected by BMs in the present after a stopping point has been reached

5. Law of iterated logs: duh

- - -

(From the ever entertaining McSweeneys.net)

More like this

I just realized that I've written a few science-y piece with an inherent Star Wars hook to it. As well, it seems to be something that comes up at McSweeney's and other similar humour sites. Anyway, here is a collection of the ones I'm aware of. Enjoy...(From the Onion)"WHEN CELEBRITIES, WHO HAVE…
Looks like an appropriate time to put this one up on the blog. I have to say that this was the one of the easiest pieces I've ever written. It's also the only one that got published at McSweeney's with no additional editing whatsoever. - - - IT'S A LUCKY THING FOR STEM-CELL RESEARCH THAT THE…
I thought it would be kind of interesting to try and showcase a few links from the types of journals and publications that take less than academic stabs at science writing. It's the sort of stuff that interests me to no end, because if you read through "Public Understanding of Science" type…
Has anybody been following the Letters page of The New Yorker recently? Quick recap: TNY writes something about Capote, which film includes a character named William Shawn, who was in fact the editor of TNY for a great many years, and who enjoys a tremendous reputation for excellence among the…

Uh, I don't want to be too much of a stickler about a joke but, isn't #2 spectacularly false? Actually, the other items are a little weak too. Eh .. not that funny for me I guess.

By cmtheorist (not verified) on 22 Sep 2009 #permalink

#2 is true if you are taking distance as a vector, not a scalar (i.e. although you will travel "X" distance, the expected final position is the starting point---i.e. the expected final position is evenly distributed about the origin).