Answers in Genesis doth protest too much

God's promise to Noah ... that He would never destroy the world again through a global flood.

Isn't this classic behaviour of a serial abuser? "I know I just killed everyone except your family, Noah, but you know I love you. I really do. It's just that you people piss me off sometimes, and I get carried away. Look, I promise that I'll never do it again ... at least, not with a flood. So, are we good? Now dry your eyes, go put on your best sackcloth, and I'll take you out tonight."

assuming the the flood was real means many innocent people, especially children and pregnant mothers were murdered by this "loving god". who would want to worship such an entity?
Christians have an evil and uncaring god.

Hold on! AiG has an exposition booth at the NEA convention. How does this happen? As a New Jersey teacher I'm a member of NEA and this comes as news to me. My union has a lot of explaining to do.

A bit off topic, but this is bugging me.

Am I the only one, or do the rest of you think God is gay?

Well, what's with choirs of angels in frillies and feathers, playing harps and singing soprano?

What's with these pearly gates? A manly deity would have wrought iron in basic black.

And consider that the old coot lives in an all-male household with his unmarried son and a daffy old spook.

I went to the AiG page. I'm ashamed that I grew up in that, but it's sort of the "ya can't choose your parents" situation.

I note that all the recordings are them speaking to themselves about someone they spoke with. Wish they'd have recorded the actual conversations. Strange...very strange. It sort of sounded like the old men after a day of fishing recounting all the stories of victory over 7 foot long catfish and such. "And then like this one really huge catfish - with horns -- and a sword -- jumped out of the water and tried to slash me, but I caught him in my fish net and wacked him on the head. I can't show you 'cause I already ate him..."

"...nor thieves ... nor extortioners will inherit the kindom of god."

That's funny.

It makes no sense to me why some of you find it so difficult to uphold the truths that science delivers to us alongside those that the Bible delivers us. I whole-heartedly embrace evolution (and all scientific truth as a whole). I also whole heartedly embrace the Bible. Is most of your problem with the Bible on philosophical grounds, scientific grounds, or might it be the difficulty that exits in admitting that human beings are inherently sinful and that those that were wiped out weren't so innocent as you make them out to be? God is loving, but he is also just. Your thoughts of God are far too human.

I whole-heartedly embrace evolution (and all scientific truth as a whole).

Great. Then it must also tick you off when creationists distort your Bible by trying to use it as a science textbook?

I went to Central Park, and met this guy who told me that God created the world, and everything in it. I knew right away the guy was a wierdo because he wore old clothes from the Salvation Army, had a long beard, and sort of a wild eyed stare.

He claimed to be a minister of some church, not sure which one. You meet nuts like those sometimes. I told him that he was wrong, of course, we know there is no GOD or any creator of the world.

I can tell you for a fact that no invisible Creator created me because I created myself. Yep, it was easy. I borrowed a few molecular biology books from the library and a few vials of DNA and stuff like that from the lab, and I mixed it all. You know how the chromesomes line up and then get pulled apart and separate as the first step of cell division? Well making those little tubules that pull apart the chromosomes was the hardest part, almost couldn't get it right. Had chormosomes flying all over the place. But my dad was a car mechanic so he helped with the little tubules. And we finally got it right.

Don't believe me? You say nobody can create ourselves because we aren't born yet, right?. Yeah, you have a point, just kidding.

Actually my mom and dad were the ones who created me. Yeah, they excused themselves for the evening and presto chango, I popped out.

But it was more complicated than that. Since my dad was good at fixing appliances, radios and refrigerators, he was able to figure out cellular biology, and set up a lab in the basement with generators, lot of glass beakers and tubing, bunsen burners, millions of machines and gadgets, and even radioactive stuff that glowed in the dark. He was a genius. After a series of failed experiments that made a sort of purple, green goo that slithered to the floor, he finally made the first cell. That was only the beginning because he perfected his experiments and finally made me. Yep, dad made me, of course mom helped. She talked on the phone most of the time, of course, but she was there. Mom and Dad should have got the Nobility Prize for inventing me, but after I spent a year in reform school, people didn't think I was such a great invention.

So there you have it, there is no invisible creator who created anything. That's why I am an atheist and spend my time at the science museum looking at the galaxies in outer space, and the electrons and atoms, and skeletons of dinosaurs. No invisible creator made any of that stuff either. My dad did it. He was good at fixing the washing machine, too.

.........Tara, you seem to have an extensive and remarkable loon collection showing up on your blog.

Wow. Between this and the HIV denier poop, just...wow.

So, I'll start this by prefacing that I realize that Create Yourself is just as likely a drive-by toll then someone who will actually read this. Also, I'm assuming CY is a creationist who is trying to make fun of us. Maybe he's actually very good at satire, so good I can't tell. I Dunno.

However.

First off, What is the point in this story? Is anyone really going to read it and go 'Wow! I never thought of it that way?'. Do you really think that an overly cynical strawman like this is going to win anyone over?

Also, Do you realize the delicious irony in making fun of people because they don't believe what you were taught as a child with a story about believing what you were told as a child? I mean, seriously, there is no difference between the 'My dad did it' reasoning and the 'God did it' reasoning.

Of course, maybe that's your point. But if it is, you fooled me.

Hey Ben. I got some bad news for you. God came to me in a dream and said you are going to hell for all eternity. He said you are totally being punked by believing in an old book written by bronze-age goat-herders, and translated and mis-translated many times since.

"assuming the the flood was real means many innocent people, especially children and pregnant mothers were murdered by this "loving god". who would want to worship such an entity?
Christians have an evil and uncaring god."
Also innumerable animals, who had nothing to do with the matter whatsoever but were killed anyway. You'd think an omnipotent being could think of a more selective method to off people...

Brendan S said

So, I'll start this by prefacing that I realize that Create Yourself is just as likely a drive-by toll then someone who will actually read this. Also, I'm assuming CY is a creationist who is trying to make fun of us. Maybe he's actually very good at satire, so good I can't tell. I Dunno.

Actually I did read your comment.

my understanding is that an NEA member rents the space and then just lets AiG take it over.

Hey CY.

Don't know about the techazoid geeks, but I loved your piece! It is a great piece of literature that leaves ones mind wide open to wonder, and question. Very nice. I am impressed.

Thank you for sharing it!