Breast implants gone a tattoo

I've written previously how people will do crazy things for aesthetics. I know some would consider any tattoo in this category; I can't since I have a few myself. However, I'd never heard of a 3D tattoo before. I don't mean just the art appears to make the tattoo stand out and look 3-dimensional; I mean implanting materials underneath the tattoo to make it physically stick out. It's not always a happy ending though; more on a breast-implanted tattoo turned bad (and the "before" photo) after the jump.

Tattoo studio owner Lane Jensen decided his "buxom cowgirl" tattoo on his calf needed a little oomph, apparently:

Brian Decker, a New York-based micro-dermal surgeon and friend, offered Jensen the boob job on his calf last December while visiting Dragon FX.


By Christmas Eve, the sutures split and a litre of lymphatic fluid drained from Jensen's leg.

So what does he do? Go to the hospital? Have the implants removed? Nah...

Jensen froze his leg and used his own surgical supplies to stitch his leg closed again, but the wound later burst open a second time.

Doctors prescribed him antibiotics and advised him to leave it open.

Until it stops oozing Jensen will continue washing it several times per day and repacking it with fresh gauze.

Anatomically correct tattoos via implantation is one thing, but self-surgery to fix yourself up after your tattoo's breast implants explode?

Image from

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Wow, that's a new one . . . sounds like something Neal Stephenson would have thought of and then discarded as being too unrealistic.

Not the stupidest incident of "self-care" I've heard of but definitely up there.

By Travis McDermott (not verified) on 21 Feb 2008 #permalink

You know, like Homie Bear, I'm slightly disappointed that this happened in my home-town. I mean, I know it's cowboy country way out there, but seriously - how could anyone have thought that this was a good idea?

Anatomically correct tattoos via implantation is one thing, but self-surgery to fix yourself up after your tattoo's breast implants explode?

This guy's quite a stitch. I guess if you want to aggravate an already serious wound, suture self. ;^D

Seriously, there's hardcore, and then there's ludicrously stupidly hardcore. This falls into the latter category.

~David D.G.

By David D.G. (not verified) on 22 Feb 2008 #permalink

I am just impressed at his flexibility - suturing your own calf can't be easy. As a former Edmontonian, I have to shake my head because now Calgary has yet another reason to laugh at us.

Though I understand the apprehension in the commentary, understand the he actually knew what he was doing. Brian Decker and Lene Jensen are both professionals and experienced at what they do. They both knew it was risky, and decided as adults to go through with it. Mr. Decker has done implants before that have healed well and keeps a very clean and sterile office. I actually know that personally. There are many people in this world who are doing amazing, weird, and surprising things with their body, there is a lot of experimentation, all experimentation carries risk, any body procedure does. If those that are taking the risk are professional and knowledgeable they can lessen the risk but the risk can never disappear. This goes for something as simple as a piercing at your local mall, a visit at the dentist's office, or surgery. Having had both positive and negative experiences with doctors as well as body modification practitioners, I can tell you one isn't immediately more intelligent, clean or more sterile than the other. If you go to original link of the story you will read that the medical staff at the emergency room treated him respectfully, which seems more than some commenters here can do. I love scienceblogs, and denialism, and read them often, but I felt it was important to state a few things before any other comments became rude.

Amelia, this is the case of a guy who decided the stylized mega-breasts of his cowgirl pinup tattoo were insufficiently large, and that they needed a subdermal implant to make them even bigger. His choice to go public with his case has done no favor for efforts to win greater freedom of practice for body mod professionals: he got an infection, which is an accepted risk, but he did it for a kinda dumb enhancement of a bimbo-tattoo, and then he went way beyond his scope of practice and treated a severely (and obviously) infected wound himself instead of seeking real medical care. I stand by my mockery.

That's the worst thing I've heard of since the guy who stapled his scrotum back together.

This tit-for-tat thing is getting totally out of hand.

It's from Edmonton. That's interesting. The whole cowgirls-with-breast-implants thing seems more Calgary to me. But then, maybe Calgary just gets more attention for it.

By El Christador (not verified) on 23 Feb 2008 #permalink

what do you know, rednecks are stupid.

By caknuckle (not verified) on 24 Feb 2008 #permalink

Why has no one mentioned that this is NO SUCH THING as a microdermal surgeon? i am disgusted that this story went this public and that these photos have been used without permission.