chrisdrudge | January 3, 2009Matthews MG. Autoamputation of infant's finger by knitted mitten: a forgotten hazard. Br Med J (Clin Res Ed). 1986 Apr 26;292(6528):1107.
Perhaps everybody but me knows this, but parents, don't leave knitted mittens on your infants when you put them to bed. It may sound bizarre, but it can lead to them losing fingers.
chrisdrudge | December 19, 2008STUNT FAIL
McCoy SH, Johnson KA. Sagittal fracture of the cervical spine. J Trauma. 1976 Apr;16(4):310-12.
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SPORTS FAIL
Hsieh CH, Lin GT. Thumb amputation resulting from an attempted basketball slam-dunk. Clin J Sport Med. 2006 May;16(3):274-5.
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SEX FAIL
Rose V, Moloney D, Fleming AN. The bra-strap injury: should men have lessons? Br J Plast Surg. 2002 Mar;55(2):179-80.
chrisdrudge | December 12, 2008Wolf J, Curtis N. Brain abscess secondary to dental braces. Pediatr Infect Dis J. 2008 Jan;27(1):84-5.
Blum-Hareuveni T, Rehany U, Rumelt S. Devastating endophthalmitis following penetrating ocular injury during night sleep from orthodontic headgear: case report and literature review. Graefes Arch Clin Exp Ophthalmol. 2006 Feb;244(2):253-8.
Fact: Orthodontic devices of all types are the spawn of the devil. Some go straight for your brain, while others prefer to wait until you are fast asleep and then poke your fucking eyes out.
chrisdrudge | December 9, 2008Pretty IA, Hall RC. Self-extraction of teeth involving gamma-hydroxybutyric acid. J Forensic Sci. 2004 Sep;49(5):1069-72.
Guy and girl are hanging out. Decide to get smashed on gamma-hydroxybutyric acid (GHB), a CNS depressant of historical medical use that is currently used as a recreational drug, as a date rape drug, and by bodybuilders looking to boost their endogenous production of human growth hormone. Bodybuilders are so weird.
At some point during their GHB-fueled escapades, eighteen of the girl's teeth are extracted from her mouth with a pair of pliers. Not one, not two, but…
chrisdrudge | December 7, 2008McIntosh BC, Strugar J, Narayan D. Traumatic frontal bone fracture resulting in intracerebral pneumocephalus. J Craniofac Surg. 2005 May;16(3):461-3.
Some college-aged kid got smacked in the face with a golf club, breaking a bunch of stuff that required a fair bit of surgery to repair. Kid shows up a couple of weeks later leaking spinal cord juice from his nose and complaining of headache. He is diagnosed with intracerebral pneumocephalus (IP), which is doctor-speak for having air inside your brain. Back to the OR he goes, where they somehow get the air out of his brain.
Perhaps…
chrisdrudge | September 30, 2008Belpoggi F, Soffritti M, Tibaldi E, Falcioni L, Bua L, Trabucco F. Results of long-term carcinogenicity bioassays on Coca-Cola administered to Sprague-Dawley rats. Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2006 Sep;1076:736-52.
So apparently Coca-Cola causes breast and pancreatic cancers in rats. Better cut back on the Coke, kiddos.
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Chung YW, Han DS, Park YK, Son BK, Paik CH, Jeon YC, Sohn JH. Huge gastric diospyrobezoars successfully treated by oral intake and endoscopic injection of Coca-Cola. Dig Liver Dis. 2006 Jul;38(7):515-7.
Huge gastric diospyrobezoars are huge solidified clumps of nondigestible food…
chrisdrudge | September 10, 2008The closest I've come to performing surgery on my self was the time I popped a really big zit behind my ear. Heck, that sucker might have even been a cyst or something. The cases I've managed to dig out and list below are, shall we say, way more friggin' impressive. Oh, and Wikipedia has a neat little entry on self-surgery that is worth a quick read. Personal self-surgery experiences, as always, are welcome in the comments section!
Harper KA. Double fracture and wedging of a sewing needle interdentally in an attempt at self-treatment: a case report. Dent Update. 2002 Mar;29(2):78-9.
How in…
chrisdrudge | September 1, 2008Cunningham SC, McNear B, Pearlman RS, Kern SE. Beverage-agarose gel electrophoresis: an inquiry-based laboratory exercise with virtual adaptation. CBE Life Sci Educ. 2006 Fall;5(3):281-6.
Aw, universities. Engaging undergraduates by bringing beer into the laboratory. No, not hiding six-packs in the walk-in lab fridge (that's for graduate students), but using Budweiser as a buffer for agarose gel electrophoresis! It works because it contains lots of anions and is subject to at least some quality standards, although there are many drawbacks, such as wasting perfectly good beer on science. And I…
chrisdrudge | August 27, 2008Yoshiura K, Kinoshita A, Ishida T, Ninokata A, Ishikawa T, Kaname T, Bannai M, Tokunaga K, Sonoda S, Komaki R, Ihara M, Saenko VA, Alipov GK, Sekine I, Komatsu K, Takahashi H, Nakashima M, Sosonkina N, Mapendano CK, Ghadami M, Nomura M, Liang DS, Miwa N, Kim DK, Garidkhuu A, Natsume N, Ohta T, Tomita H, Kaneko A, Kikuchi M, Russomando G, Hirayama K, Ishibashi M, Takahashi A, Saitou N, Murray JC, Saito S, Nakamura Y, Niikawa N. A SNP in the ABCC11 gene is the determinant of human earwax type. Nat Genet. 2006 Mar;38(3):324-30.
Okay, firstly, that's a lot of friggin' authors. What'd they do,…
chrisdrudge | August 24, 2008Check out this article, which does a nice job of summarizing what clinical vampirism is all about. Honestly, all I cared about were the nasty-ass case reports. Highlights include the dude who liked to jerk off to the sight of his own blood and had managed to figure out how to cut himself so as to cause blood to spurt into his mouth, and the pregnant woman who was hospitalized on multiple occasions for vomiting large quantities of her own blood, which she ingested via cuts she made in the base of her tongue. I've managed to find a couple of other publications of interest.
Hemphill RE, Zabow T…
chrisdrudge | August 12, 2008Okay, let's try again.
Almond BR. Monstrous infants and vampyric mothers in Bram Stoker's "Dracula". Int J Psychoanal. 2007 Feb;88(Pt 1):219-35.
"Vampires and the state of being "undead" are representations of intense oral needs, experienced in a context of passivity and helplessness."
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Stiles A. Cerebral automatism, the brain, and the soul in Bram Stoker's Dracula. J Hist Neurosci. 2006 Jun;15(2):131-52.
"I suggest that Stoker's vampire protagonist dramatizes the pervasive late-nineteenth-century fear that human beings are soulless machines motivated solely by physiological factors."
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chrisdrudge | June 24, 2008Oh look, a blog that hasn't been updated in almost a month. Heh.
When it comes to suicide, you've got a fairly standard list of methods to work with: firing a bullet into your head, consuming copious amounts of highly toxic drugs/chemicals, jumping in front or off of something, hanging your neck from something, slicing your wrist (vertically, of course), and drowning. Then you have the weird approaches to offing yourself, which is where I come in.
Sauvageau A, Yesovitch R. Choking on toilet paper: an unusual case of suicide and a review of the literature on suicide by smothering,…
chrisdrudge | May 30, 2008Let's be morbid, shall we?
Van de Putte D, Ceelen W, Gillardin JM, Pattyn P, de Hemptinne B. Attempted Suicide by Auto-Injection of Polyurethane (PU) Foam: Report of a Case. J Trauma. 2007 Jun 1; [Epub ahead of print] No abstract available.
I'm not sure how this would work. Where exactly did it get injected? Ear? Mouth? Belly button?
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Panourias IG, Slatinopoulos VK, Arvanitis DL. Penetrating craniocerebral injury caused by a pneumatic nail gun: an unsuccessful attempt of suicide. Clin Neurol Neurosurg. 2006 Jul;108(5):490-2.
Man, I really want to play Quake for some reason.
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Burd A,…
chrisdrudge | May 12, 2008Thakur D, Pocha M. Pneumothorax after a roller coaster ride. Arch Dis Child. 2006 May;91(5):421. No abstract available.
So riding a roller coaster can potentially cause your lung to deflate like a balloon. Now that's a ride!
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Roldan-Valadez E, Facha MT, Martinez-Lopez M, Herrera-Mora P. Subdural hematoma in a teenager related to roller-coaster ride. Eur J Paediatr Neurol. 2006 Jul;10(4):194-6. Epub 2006 Sep 1.
A subdural hematoma occurs when veins in your brain rupture for some reason (usually a head injury), resulting in blood pooling underneath your skull. The pressure created by the…
chrisdrudge | April 23, 2008Marin R, Francis JM. A case of idiopathic fecal incontinence. Evaluation and management. Am J Phys Med Rehabil. 1997 Jul-Aug;76(4):333-7.
I mean, it's one thing to piss yourself, but it's another thing entirely to poop yourself. For no apparent reason. While being examined for back pain.
chrisdrudge | April 21, 2008Hi everyone. If I could kindly direct your attention to my brand new sweet-ass (heh!) banner. It is the work of dude named Ranger Jay, which indeed is an alias. He has done a swell job and I am most pleased.
Thank you to all of you who submitted banners! I appreciate you taking the time to put something together for me. Now to try and get some actual blog content together.
chrisdrudge | April 15, 2008Hi all. I am hereby extending the deadline on my banner contest to the end of this week (April 18). This will hopefully coincide with an appreciable rise in posting frequency. I thank you for your patience on this matter.
chrisdrudge | April 9, 2008Kunz J, Gross A. Victim's scalp on the killer's head. An unusual case of criminal postmortem mutilation. Am J Forensic Med Pathol. 2001 Sep;22(3):327-31.
Dude must have watched him some Con Air. Sweet movie, BTW. John Malkovich and Steve Buscemi as murderous badasses, and Nic Cage with greasy dreads. What else do you need? Don't you dare say a script.
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Ropohl D, Scheithauer R, Pollak S. Postmortem injuries inflicted by domestic golden hamster: morphological aspects and evidence by DNA typing. Forensic Sci Int. 1995 Mar 31;72(2):81-90.
Sperhake JP, Tsokos M. [Postmortem bite injuries cause…
chrisdrudge | March 28, 2008Rosen T. Penile ulcer from traumatic orogenital contact. Dermatol Online J. 2005 Aug 1;11(2):18.
I love how even something like 'dude gets his dick bitten by someone and the bite turns into an gross infected sore' can be transmuted into an almost pleasant and innocuous jargonistic title such as this. I ought to do a whole post on this kind of thing.
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Behar DM, Edelshtein S, Ben-Ami H, Mansano R, Edoute Y. Human bite on penile shaft from oral sex as a portal of entry for streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. Isr Med Assoc J. 2000 Dec;2(12):945-7. No abstract available.
Jesus fucking Christ…
chrisdrudge | March 26, 2008Hey folks,
The time has come. This blog needs a groovy banner. If you design one, send it to me, and I like it, you win. I'll throw your name with a link to whatever you'd like in the sidebar, and possibly mail you a surprise* prize.
The banner should be 756 x 93 pixels max. It should also not have any sorts of actual images of feces incorporated into it, because that's gross. Although mite turds might be alright. You can email them to me at:
agoodpoop@gmail.com
Thanks, and happy creating!
Edit: The only text required in the banner is 'A Good Poop', and the deadline for submissions is April…