Weapons of Mass Deception

In the latest news from the planet the Republicans wish we lived on, weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq. This news comes to us courtesy of a couple of Congresscritters - Representative Peter Hoekstra, Republican of Michigan , and Senator Rick Santorum, Theocrat of Pennsylvania. Supporting their bold statement, these exemplary members of the surreality-based community have - wait for it - a newly declassified intelligence report, courtesy of Bush appointee John Negroponte.

I am shocked, shocked I say, to find the Republicans resorting to selective declassification of intelligence information to support a partisan political agenda - particularly when it's as blatanly lame as this one. I am less shocked to find Santorum involved in this fiasco, since he's more full of crap than a bull that's been sewn shut at one end. For people who are more interested in the reality of the situation, here's the deal:

The "weapons of mass destruction" in question date back to the Iran-Iraq War, and can most charitably be described as "degraded." David Kay, former head of the postwar WMD search team, had this to say about the old weapons:

"It is less toxic than most things that Americans have under their kitchen sink at this point," Kay said.

And any of Iraq's 1980s-era mustard would produce burns, but it is unlikely to be lethal, Kay said.

To be fair, of course, I should mention that Rumsfeld has a slightly different take on the situation:

Asked about the potential danger to U.S. troops, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said: "They are weapons of mass destruction. They are harmful to human beings. And they have been found."

That's true, of course. They might not be much - they might be degraded, and they might have less potential to cause harm than a bottle of drain cleaner, but they are the only weapons of mass destruction out there. And we all know that we go to war to find the WMDs that are there, not the WMDs we might wish had actually been there.

Here's my favorite part of this whole little affair:

Hoekstra, in an interview, said that people had been saying there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and "while news there were 500 might not be much of a surprise to some, revelation of the number may be news to others." He added: "It was one more piece of the puzzle . . . and who knows what else may be in Iraq. There is still a lot we don't know."

You know, I think he's right. There's definitely a lot we don't know, and someone should go find out. I nominate Hoekstra, since he's so eager to get at the most gullible voters he can findtruth of the matter. He should feel free to go on out there and start looking at things for himself. Alone. In a soft-skinned Humvee.