LHC: more Higgs complications

Back at the LHC Shows the Way workshop at the Aspen Center for Physics - more discussion of Higgs alternatives and peculiar branching ratios.

No, the branching ratios for the different decay modes of the 125 GeV boson that is putatively the Higgs are not anomalous at a statistically significant level, but, they are off a bit.

So, theorists go wild with ecstatic speculation - it is fun and not yet ruled out by data, what else can we do!

This morning Fan on 2:1 for Naturalness at the LHC? by Nima Arkani-Hamed, Kfir Blum, Raffaele Tito D'Agnolo, JiJi Fan

Later there will be discussion on jet physics at LHC, but I have a telecon so will have to skip.

For now, we observe a particle theorist learning some practical fluid dynamics, the hard way - if there is a large puddle on the canopy above you - don't fuck with it, you'll get wet.

Lisa Randall improvises a practical rescue plan, to great applause.
She'll lose her theorist cred if she keeps this up.

Oh, yeah, talk: the branching ratio to two photon decay is higher than it should be from Standard Model (heard that one before), compared to ZZ decay.
IF that holds, it constrains new physics at ~ TeV scales, so the LHC must get lots more data up to higher energies. Natch.
Bonus: if the decay mode ratios are as predicted, it excludes a lot of favourite alternative models.
So Win-Win.

So instead I leave you with this sign, left in my office window:

Ask not who will pay for Dark Energy.
We all will pay.