All I have to say is that I'm really glad this wasn't published 20-something years ago.
5 things you should know before dating a scientist
1. We can figure things out. Understand, we're paid to dig deep, find the secrets and wade through bullshit. We can pick up on subtleties, so what you think you are hiding from us won't be hidden for long. Sure, we'll act surprised when you eventually tell us you failed freshman biology in college -- but we already knew.
We don't take shit from anyone, so don't lie to us or give a load of bullshit. We spend all day separating fact from fiction, listening to scientific supply sales reps and dealing with students' bullshit. If you make us do the same with you, you're just gonna piss us off. And don't think we'll be quiet about it. We'll respond with the vengeance of an science blogger railing against some researcher's recently-retracted paper -- and we'll enjoy doing it.
Just tell us the truth. We can handle it.
Perhaps you'll want to hide this post from your significant other or even more-importantly, non-sciencey potential significant others.
Any other warnings we should all share?
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We question everything. It's an essential part of being a good scientist. So almost any time you tell us "XYZ," we're likely to say "Not necessarily! It could be W." We also feel compelled to correct you if you say something false or inconsistent with current scientific knowledge.
If you're not a scientist also, this may bug the heck out of you, because it seems like we're always contradicting you or challenging what you say. And we are, in a way, but we can't help it. It's part of who we are. You can ask us to tone it down outside the lab, and we'll try, but in the end you'll just have to put up with it.
I'm confident my wife would agree with this wholeheartedly!