More People Talking to God

The religion news blog is reporting the story of Marilyn Cole, a Virginia woman who keeps getting arrested for trespassing at a car lot:

The case against Marilyn Cole, 40, of 4420 Scarborough Square, appeared to baffle Prince William County General District Court Judge Wenda K. Travers for a time Tuesday morning following calm, often rational testimony from Cole that God told her to get a free vehicle from Malloy Lincoln Mercury & Mitsubishi.

Cole testified she knew she had been ordered to stay away from the dealership, at 14655 Jefferson Davis Highway, after being convicted of trespassing there in May and September 2003. But she kept returning because God - through the Bible - had told her to do so, and God's authority, she said, is higher than man's laws.

"To take a stand that I feel that God is telling me to take, I have to accept whatever comes from that,'' Cole said, referring to a likely jail sentence.

"Never was I rude. I've never cussed anybody,'' she testified. "I did raise my voice once calling on Jesus' name.''

Cole said she asked Malloy for the free vehicle because "that's where I was sent ... I just go every time I'm ordered'' through scripture readings.

Maybe she's been hanging out with the American Airlines pilot who thinks God was talking to him through faulty equipment warnings. At first I was going to make fun of this person, but what if they're right? I mean, what if God is just having some fun, making prank celestial phone calls? What if all those people walking the streets talking to themselves really ARE talking to God, and God is just doing a bad Jerky Boys impersonation? Come on, you and I would do that if we were God, especially if we were bored and had a little too much sacramental wine.

P.S. God told me to write this. Then he told me to go down to city hall and apply for a handgun permit to hunt unbelievers. This oughta be fun....

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