A new idea from the Intelligent Design Creationism movement!

Creationism is so boring.

Creationist: BIOLOGICAL FEATURE ___ IS IMPOSSIBLAH!

Scientist: Um, Dude, theres like 65 years of research explaining how feature ___ evolved.

Creationist: NO THAT RESEAERCH SUPPORTS JESUS! EVIDENCES OF CREATION!

Scientist: What? No, we have a pretty good idea the evolutionary steps between ___ and ___. Theres no way this research supports special creation. I mean, its actually taught in undergrad biology classes now.

Creationist: NO. I CALCULATED IMPOSSIBLAH. JESUS LOVES ME!

Scientist: ... Youre just mashing the keys of your calculator. Thats not a 'calculation'.

Creationist: EXPELLED! EXPEEEEEEELLLED! YOU ARE BE PURSEICUTING MEH!!! NAZI!! *runs to a school board to get their 'calculations' taught in public school science classes*

Thats it. Same thing from YECs, to OECs, to IDCs, decades and decades of that.

We finally have something new.

Creationists propose "Intelligent Recall" theory to explain extinction of species--
Hawkins further revealed that God had decided to recall the dinosaurs after rescuing them from the global flood. Hawkins didn't specify the factors that God considered before recalling any species, proclaiming it to be beyond the capacity of human intelligence.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Parody writers: More creative than Creationists.

More like this

Reposted from the old TfK. I say no, Bill Dembski says yes: Despite intelligent design's clear linkage, both methodologically and in content, with existing sciences that sift the effects of intelligence from undirected natural forces, critics of intelligent design often label it a form of…
As you have undoubtedly heard, a group of evolutionary biologists and evolutionary biology supporters attended a showing of the movie Expelled, in the Twin Cities, last night. This group included the very famous Richard Dawkins and the only slightly less famous PZ Myers. PZ and Richard, in fact,…
So I saw EXPELLED this weekend. My review is two words: Thats it? Thats it? Thats what caused a humagiganitisoid blagosphere hubub? OMG it was so boring! I got bored 15 minutes in, started cleaning the apartment while watching. Made it to 45 minutes in before just paused it and watched a…
Here's the fourth winning question about Microcosm, from Sigmund: Creationists often point to the bacterial cell and say something to the effect of "the cell is so complicated it is highly improbable that it could have spontaneously formed - therefore God-did-it. Are there any particular features…

I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed its a parody...I mean its funny, but it would be nice if creationists actually gave us something new to ridicule.

They misspelled "Rapture".

"Hey, Dino, you need to take a brake?"
That would be in the Prius eon, right ...

I suggest that since CREASONIST BRAINZ don't work so good that they should ALL be recalled for the necessary "regrooving".* And if there were a god, it would like ASAP. Excuse, me, like 100 years ago.

* Thanks to Firesign Theater for the reference.

George Tirebiter would be proud.

Do you think God will be asked to testify and explain the recall before the House Committee on Oversight and Gov't Reform?

Yeah, but you can't prove you're not brains in vats SO I WIN!

/Rhotard

By Tyler DiPietro (not verified) on 20 Feb 2010 #permalink

Strip the parody tags and e-mail it to Luskin.

It will keep him busy for weeks.

Corvairetops.

Pintodactyl.

By Prometheus (not verified) on 21 Feb 2010 #permalink

Keep the parody tags and tell him it had to be published as parody to escape teh censor.

While I fully realize that this is a parody, it got closer to the truth than I think the authors realized. What I specifically mean by this is well known creationist and pseudo mathematician Dembski just wrote a book on theology called _The End of Christianity_. Here end means purpose.

In it, he argued for the retroactive redemptive powers of the cross and Christ's suffering. He made this argument to try and square the existence of natural evil -- death and suffering -- in an old earth. He argued that the cross can redeem the world for sins and evil that happened before man came about. I'm not kidding.

While this notion of retroactive redemption is only tangentially related to what we have here, it did remind me of it.

So glad we have graduate students like you who know everything. Not like those people with years and years of post grad experience!

Jen@19 -- Dunno what your comment has to do with Abbie's post, but you might enjoy the following:

When you think you know everything,
They give you your BS.

When you realize you know nothing,
They give you your MS.

When you discover it doesnt matter because no one else knows anything either,
They give you your PhD.