Oklahoma: Full of SINNERS!

My mom and her friends have been having a fun time with recent Oklahoma weather-- We had constant ice storms that crippled the city this winter. Spring gave us loads of tornadoes and of course, the sideways baseball-sized hail. This summer has been 'filled' with flooding...

Mom & Co. giggle: "Better stock up on OFF!. I heard next you all are going to have a plague of locusts." "What the hell is Oklahoma doing to piss off God??" "The only thing keeping Oklahoma from being obliterated by God is the few Chosen People who manage to live there. Way to keep God from killing Oklahoma, Abbie!"

So you can imagine their peels of laughter when they found out 'Reclaiming America for Christ' held a rally right here in OKC last week. And that 'Reclaiming Oklahoma for Christ' has, quite possibly, one of the most terrifying, designed-by-a-serial-killer-looking websites on the internet. But for Christs sake, SOMEONE has to bring this state of heathens to Christ before we are permanently obliterated from the planet, and if it has to be the owners of one of the creepiest websites on Earth, so be it!!

So while they were laughing, I was totally pissed off. KEN HAM was here in OKC, and NOBODY thought it might have been nice to invite ME. KEN HAM. You selfish mother fuckers at Trinity Baptist Church in Yukon. Dan Fisher, you suck.

Now today I find out that the Westboro Baptist crew are going to be like 2 blocks away from me, and Ive got to, get this, WORK! WTF!!

5:00 PM - 5:30 PMOklahoma City, OK
Oklahoma State Capital 2300 N Lincoln Blvd WBC to picket the Oklahoma State Capital. Like their spiritual forefather, Haman, these rulers have passed a law that is mischief and mayhem with the agenda of their father the devil at the heart. They hope to kill (literally) the servants of God. They have passed a law which basically gives the brutish, lawless, violent rebels of Oklahoma authority, by law, to commit crimes against WBC members when they come with words of truth to the public sidewalks of that DOOMED state, and they may not be held personally liable if they commit these crimes. Behold the face of the good old boy, Bible belt southern hypocrites. Do you fools think God is going to let you get a pass? Psalm 53:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good. Isaiah 24:16-23 From the uttermost part of the earth have we heard songs, even glory to the righteous. But I said, My leanness, my leanness, woe unto me! the treacherous dealers have dealt treacherously; yea, the treacherous dealers have dealt very treacherously. Fear, and the pit, and the snare, are upon thee, O inhabitant of the earth. And it shall come to pass, that he who fleeth from the noise of the fear shall fall into the pit; and he that cometh up out of the midst of the pit shall be taken in the snare: for the windows from on high are open, and the foundations of the earth do shake. The earth is utterly broken down, the earth is clean dissolved, the earth is moved exceedingly. The earth shall reel to and fro like a drunkard, and shall be removed like a cottage; and the transgression thereof shall be heavy upon it; and it shall fall, and not rise again. And it shall come to pass in that day, that the LORD shall punish the host of the high ones that are on high, and the kings of the earth upon the earth. And they shall be gathered together, as prisoners are gathered in the pit, and shall be shut up in the prison, and after many days shall they be visited. Then the moon shall be confounded, and the sun ashamed, when the LORD of hosts shall reign in mount Zion, and in Jerusalem, and before his ancients gloriously. Oklahoma should be afraid, very afraid for these treacherous actions will not go unnoticed or unpunished by Our God, the Consuming Fire and the Avenger of Blood. Praise and fear Him. AMEN!

HOLY CRAP that is some FANTASTIC crazy!!!

And I gotta WORK.

*silently fumes*

Well, at least I can take heart in the fact Im studying HIV/AIDS (TEH HOMO GAY!) and evilution (ATHIEST DEEEMONS!), so, *pout* I guess Im still kinda counter protesting.

But Arnieman would have had SO MUCH FUN.


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Arnie playing with The Westboro Hate Group would be like Samuel L Jackson's character "preaching" to sinners in Pulp Fiction, but much more fun. :)

Ken Ham and David Barton in the same place at the same time! Why couldn't a meteorite have conveniently landed on them?

By Iason Ouabache (not verified) on 20 Jul 2010 #permalink

@2 this day has not yet ended... o.t. abbie, when ya gonna chime in on the Sb mess?

By mike gruey (not verified) on 20 Jul 2010 #permalink

Epic website. I have to wash the inside of my monitor now.

By Janice in Toronto (not verified) on 20 Jul 2010 #permalink

Okay, why does Ken Ham look like a photomerge of a human and a chimp? Is he the Missing Link®?

The Bride couldn't make the Westboro counter protest either.

She had boxing lessons. *bobs and weaves*

If you make it to a central Oklahoma counter protest, look for a petite thirty something brunette lady carrying a sign that says "Reverend Fred gives good head!" and wearing a t-shirt emblazoned "I shaved my balls for this?"

She likes to lead the chants and will loan you her bull horn if you promise to talk dirty.

Aaaaand you probably think I'm kidding, sadly I'm not.

By Prometheus (not verified) on 21 Jul 2010 #permalink

So, did you find out what horrible crime Oklahoma committed to be graced with a visit of the WBC?

@7: 10 cool points for Discworld ref!

It's just as well: Your dog would have been poisoned if he took any bites out of those clowns, and they'd have sued the living christ-***k out of you for it.

Paul Blair (of Reclaiming Oklahoma for Christ) is giving Fred Phelps a decent run for wackiest Baptist pastor in America. Interestingly, Blair's church does door-to-door outreach in my adopted hometown. I tried to explain to them that the textus receptus is plainly riddled with errors but to no avail.