A Biblical Marriage Amendment

Since most of the opposition to gay marriage seems to be coming from fundamentalist Christians who claim that gay marriage is opposed to God's word, maybe it's time to write a constitutional amendment based on the biblical model of marriage. If we're going to turn to God's word for our laws, we can't pick and choose, can we? So here is my proposed constitutional amendment:

Neither this constitution, nor the constitution of any state, nor any state or federal law, may lawfully change the definitions and standards of marrage laid out in the bible as the legal definition in these United States. Specifically, those standards are as follows:

A. No marriage shall be considered legally valid unless the bride is a virgin on her wedding day. If she is not, the penalty shall be death by stoning. Deut 22:13-21.

13. If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14. And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: 15. Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth [the tokens of] the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: 16. And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; 17. And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech [against her], saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these [are the tokens of] my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. 18. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; 19. And they shall amerce him in an hundred [shekels] of silver, and give [them] unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. 20. But if this thing be true, [and the tokens of] virginity be not found for the damsel: 21. Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

B. No marriage shall be considered legally valid if it is between a believer and an unbeliever. 2Cor 6:14.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

C. Because all marriages will be holy and sacred under the decrees of this amendment, divorce will be illegal under all circumstances. Matthew 19:7-9.

7. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8. He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

D. Should any marriage man die without first having a child with his wife, the man's brother shall be required to marry her and impregnate her. If he fails to do so, he shall be publicly cursed for his failure to do his duty. Deut 25:5-10.

5. If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her. 6. And it shall be, [that] the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother [which is] dead, that his name be not put out of Israel. 7. And if the man like not to take his brother's wife, then let his brother's wife go up to the gate unto the elders, and say, My husband's brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel, he will not perform the duty of my husband's brother. 8. Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him: and [if] he stand [to it], and say, I like not to take her; 9. Then shall his brother's wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto that man that will not build up his brother's house. 10. And his name shall be called in Israel, The house of him that hath his shoe loosed.

E. Marriage shall be defined as the union of a man and a woman or women, not including whatever concubines he possesses. II Sam 5:13.

And David took [him] more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.

F. Any soldier of the United States serving during wartime who finds a beautiful virgin woman among the enemy may bring her home with him from the war and, after giving her some time to grieve the fact that the soldier killed her family, he shall marry her. But first he must shave her head, cut her nails and change her clothes. Deut 21:10-13.

10. When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, 11. And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; 12. Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; 13. And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

Since Pat Robertson and CBN declared that gay marriage was "a major setback for the biblical concept of marriage in the U.S.", I'm sure this amendment will satisfy them. By all means, we must return to the biblical concept of marriage. Any objections?