It being spring and all, the Free-Ride offspring sometimes get that wistful why-aren't-we-4H-kids? look in their eyes.
Not that there aren't critters aplenty in the back yard. The younger Free-Ride offspring sizes up the ladybugs and looks for a jar with holes in the lid that would be appropriate as a ladybug barn. (Then, I point out that the ladybugs are needed in the garden, right where they are, to keep the aphid population under control.) Most mornings, we have a delightful selection of colorful birds hopping around and eating (bugs, one assumes) right out our window. There are enough gastropods to set up a snail racetrack (although I'm not sure we could get licensed to accept bets on the races).
But these children seem to want more. This morning, they presented me with pictures of the sorts of critter encounters they've been dreaming of.
From the younger Free-Ride offspring:
An incubator and fertilized chicken eggs, so we can raise our own hens from chicks. You'll notice the incubator is equipped with an egg-cam, so we won't miss a single exciting minute.
I'd almost be ready to sign on to this plan ... except we don't want boy-chickens. (Boy-chickens grow up to be roosters, and we really don't want our neighbors to hate us.)
Is there a reliable way to do pre-natal sex-selection on fertilized chicken eggs?
From the elder Free-Ride offspring:
OK, we already had some clues that this kid finds garden variety animals too tame. I suppose "Animal Plastic Surgery" is one way to address the problem.
Dr. Free-Ride: So, is the idea to make the animals look like they're combinations of different kinds of animals?
Elder offspring: No, they actually are combinations of different kinds of animals. See, that cat-bird is made of a cat and a bird.
Dr. Free-Ride: Hmmm. You know that with transplant surgery, there's a pretty serious problem with the host rejecting the thing you're transplanting.
Elder offspring: Huh?
Dr. Free-Ride: Your body's immune system is pretty good at telling the difference between cells from your body and cells that aren't from your body -- the immune system sees them as foreign invaders and attacks them. That's how you fight germs, but that means that something you transplant from someone else also gets treated as a foreign invader.
Elder offspring: Well, I think maybe if we take DNA from the parts we're transplanting and add them to the cells of the animals who are receiving these parts, the immune system might not attack them.
Dr. Free-Ride: So it's going to be genetic engineering as well as adding parts.
Elder offspring: Yep.
Dr. Free-Ride: What will that cost?
Elder offspring: Eighty dollars per animal used.
Dr. Free-Ride: OK.
Elder offspring: So a cerberus with a biting tail will be $320.
While the drawing claims that this is "Amazing!" and "Cool!" do please note the asterisk on "Totally works!" and the fine print: We don't care if your animals are ruined. All surgery is final.
I think perhaps the young Dr. Free-Ride should care if the animals are ruined (at least if ruination here involves pain and suffering). If it's just an admonition not to put wings on your cat and then decide later that your cat looked better without wings, I suppose the warning is appropriate.
On the other hand, when was the last time you saw this kind of honesty in an advertisement?
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Shake the family tree and some lawyers fall out.
Aaaah, 4H nostalgia. Thanks for that.
Is there a reliable way to do pre-natal sex-selection on fertilized chicken eggs?
Nope. You can order chicks that are sex-selected (the girls are called pullets and sex selection even at this stage is not perfect) but that's not as much fun as an egg-cam. However, if you could convince the sprogs that little pullets are a reasonable compromise to hatching eggs then you could raise only hens and have fresh eggs - no roosters required!!
On the other hand, you can observe in ovo gonad development in the developing embryo via a window cut in the eggshell. That can certainly give you a clue as to the sex. Since these are laboratory experiments and are ceased long before hatching I have no idea about the long-term viability of the embryo. Ask your local developmental biologist.
Obviously, your family wouldn't be eating roosters supposing you end up with some, but would you be opposed to passing them on to other families that might? Sorry if that's an insensitive question...I'm aware that you're vegetarian but not your reasons why. I know some vegetarians who would not have a problem with this, so long as they are not the eaters of the roosters.
So, say I want a cat-bird. Do I need to provide both the cat and bird? And what happens with the leftover bits?
I can't believe I'm going to say this in public, but I let my elder and younger spawn play a computer game called Spore. This game allows the player to generate/evolve creatures and communities. So they could grow cat-birds and the like. It's visually quite appealing and I haven't found anyhing heinous in it yet but it's a good catalyst for many discussions in our house about why things do or don't work in certain environments (feathered wings not actually great underwater, let's think about why the predator catches us more quickly when we have those characteristics). Spore is cheaper than incubator & eggcam, not so many unused body parts in the freezer and probably fewer lawsuits, but not as much fun as catching ladybugs and racing snails.
I love egg and chick cams. Your sprogs will go nuts over this:
http://www2.ucsc.edu/scpbrg/falconcamera.htm
I was involved with San Mateo county 4h in the 80s and 90s -- most families kept their larger animals at one of several 4h facilities, not at home.
I always wanted the kids to do rabbits but they went for lambs and pigs.
Chicks are sexed post-hatch - check out this feature on dirty jobs... =)
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/dirty-jobs-chicken-sexer.html