According to a book mentioned by Greg Dahlman at blog.bioethics.net. He notes that this makes Stephen Colbert Plato. I think it makes Hilary Clinton Aristotle, and Richard Dawkins Epicurus, although the sequence is a bit messed up.
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This paragraph:
This shared failing is no surprise, because the very notion of physical law is a theological one in the first place, a fact that makes many scientists squirm. Isaac Newton first got the idea of absolute, universal, perfect, immutable laws from the Christian doctrine that God…
I think that would make Bob Newhart, Thales of Militus, George Carlin would be Solon, and Richard Pryor, Pericles. Lenny Bruce, of course, is Moses.
Clearly Tom Lehrer is Pythagoras.