Given that the antievotees often declare evolution a religion (because after all, their view is purely based on wishful thinking and so they want to claim that everybody's views are), I got to thinking. What would the books of the Evolution Bible be called? Here's what I have so far:
Genes
Exothermy
Levo-dextrous
Statistics
Deuteromycota
Lederberg, Joshua
Judge Jones
Struth
I Phylogeny
II Phylogeny
...
The Gospels according to:
Ronald
Theodosius
Ernst
and the somewhat different
Steve.
The last book is
The Book of Evolutions
Any others?
- Log in to post comments
Hmmm....
1. I take it Struth is about the Ediacara.
2. Surely it should be followed by 1 Sewell and 2 Sewell.
3. The first book should be "Genesis, a bio".
4. Amongst the Epistles should be I John Maynard Smith, II John Maynard Smith, and III John Maynard Smith.
And finally, I guess true devotees will insist on reading the JBS version.
Bob
You forgot the Book of Numbers. I think science and religion will just have to agree on that one.
Should time be B.M.S and A.M.S. (before modern synthesis and after modern synthesis).
Where are you putting the story of the Eclipse of Darwin, when the people of Darwin wandered in the desert for 40 years?
Then you'll have to organize them into the Old Testament (where the book of Lamarck should go) and the Neo-Darwinian Testament.
You could replace I and II Chronicles with I and II Geological Column. Perhaps the trials of Job could be Creationists? In the NT using The Voyage of the Beagle in place of Roamin's is probably a pun too far.
There should be a Book of Mutations in the Old Testament.
You are also going to need evolutionary versions of the Ten Commandments, the Sermon on the Mount, and the Lord's Prayer.
The Book of Lamarck should probably be relegated to the Apocrypha.
The idea that science could be religion reminds me of the ending of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. So in such a context it would be good to give it a simple name with a clear meaning. How about "The Book of God's Evolution"?
Don't forget to include Nematodes, The Epistle of Tatiana and The Acts of the Adaptationists.
Richard Carter, FCD - I think that's what Statistics was. Nowadays nobody believes a number unless it has a p-value next to it.
Bob
Don't forget the The Gospel According to Leakey!
I should probably be embarrassed to ask, but who's Ronald? And what about Charles, never mind Alfred? Or George (Gaylord Simpson)?
I agree with the request for a Book of Numbers. Hardy-Weinberg and stuff.
BTW, what about Dawkins as Ecclesiastes? "Genes of genes and everything is genes... genes never stop being selfish, mutations always happen, and selection never ceases: there is nothing new under the sun."
And the Song of Solomon could be replaced by a few cute one-liners like: "Just call me helicase -- I'd like to unzip your genes!" (Not my idea, that one.)
The potential for apocrypha is limitless... Osborn's aristogenesis... Goldschmidt's hopeful monsters... Schindewolf's typostrophe theory...
I should probably be embarrassed to ask, but who's Ronald?
Fisher, and yes you should :)
And what about Charles, never mind Alfred?
There's no Book of Jesus, after all! Alfred = John the Baptist?
Too bad that it's hard to find a juicy enough St Paul character in our narrative - someone who persecuted Darwinists before he fell off his donkey and saw the Light. Lyell?
And what about the Prophets? Depends on what the cutoff point for the NT is - if it's the modern synthesis, then Mendel, Weissmann, Morgan?
The Old Testament requires some Books of the Prophets might I suggest:
The Book Of Georges (Cuvier)
The Book of Charles (Bonnet)
The Book of James (Burnett, Lord Monboddo)
The Book of Jean-Baptiste (Lamarck)
And last but by no means least
The Book of Erasmus
All fine suggestions. I can see we have a host of ready made redactors...
Now get started actually compiling these books. I'll post them as they come to hand ;-)
Thomas Huxley surely needs a spot in there?
...And the bit where the they enter the 'house of science' and find it being used as a market place for religion...
de Candolle, perhaps?
You also forgot I, II and III Asa (Gray, that is).
The Book of Erasmus is already available here
The Book of the false prophet Georges is available here
The Book of Jean-Baptiste here
Revisions and Retractions?
Surely it has to Evolve!
There's no Book of Jesus, after all! Alfred = John the Baptist?
No, that would have to be Lamarck, obviously.
For the historical parallel, St. Paul would be Thomas Huxley (the guy who blabbed the idea all over the place).
Various epistles by Gould and Dawkins.
No, that would have to be Lamarck, obviously.
"Obviously", my ass! (I'm trying to start the first theological schism here, can't have a religion without those...)
Consider that ARW was named by our Prophet as an important co-contributor, was a contemporary and friend of our Prophet, and spent a lot of time in the wilderness.
Jean-Baptiste is the one and only true prophet! Your man Charlie D. stole his brilliant vision and polluted it with an idea that he stole from the blessed Sts. Pierre Louis and Monboddo. You want schism? You've got infidel!
Now, now! Lamarck is clearly the Abrahamic figure -- the founder of the people of Darwin -- unto whom the Covenant of Biology was bestowed. Wallace was the one who proclaimed the word of Darwin and the truth of selection before he even knew of he who was to come, as the Baptist did with Christ.
I'm more interested in who we can cast in the role of Martin Luther ... de Vries perhaps?
I want to know where the part is about stoning the heretic IDers.
We don't do that, even if they do say "Jehovah". We get them stoned, according to the letter of Pope Dylan.
Can we have an auto de fe and a good burning instead?
"I'm more interested in who we can cast in the role of Martin Luther"
Sola genetica?
Naw. Sola Rationalis. The devil's bride, Reason, that pretty whore, comes in and thinks she's wise ... and she's right!
The thread's gone quiet without settling the 'Saint Paul' counterpart question, to my satisfaction anyway. How about Ernst Haeckel? - the embryo in the room that nobody, apparently, wanted to mention. Very influential in his day in promoting the Gospel, spreading it abroad and all that, while losing his grip on some of the essentials.