In fact ...
Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.
Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toaster.
There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
In the tradition of PZ Myers and Obama vs. Chuck Norris, we now have Linus Torvalds vs. Chuck Norris.
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Considering who Linus married, this could get fun.
My favorite is the site for crytographer Bruce Schneier. Some tidbits: http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/
Bruce Schneier once decrypted a box of AlphaBits
P = NP in Bruce Schneier's very presence.
When Bruce Schneier does modulo arithmetic, there are no remainders. Ever.
"Bruce Schneier writes his books and essays by generating random alphanumeric text of an appropriate length and then decrypting it".
Bruce Schneier can reverse any one-way cryptographic hash, just by staring it in the eye
Bruce Schneier once broke AES using nothing but six feet of rusty barbed wire, a toothpick, and the front axle from a 1962 Ford Falcon.
Bruce Schneier can straighten out an elliptic curve with nothing but his teeth
Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob's shared secret.
There's also Rahm Emanuel facts: http://rahmfacts.com/ Unlike these they are all true (and have accompanying citations) because Rahm is just that awesome.
They include:
Rahm Emanuel's mother calls him Rahmbo
After the 2006 midterm elections Rahm Emanuel jumped on a table and said "The Republican Party can go fuck themselves"
Rahm Emanuel tells people to fuck off by showing them the place where his right middle finger used to be.