I know that some of you are reading specifically to see how I am doing now that I am out of the nuthut, so I will provide you with updates every so often. I will signify these personal updates with the bird icon that you see to the left, so if this sort of thing bores you, you are forwarned and can just yawn and click on to the next article. (Incidentally, that icon to the left depicts one of the bird species I keep and research, the yellow-bibbed lory, Lorius chlorocercus.)
I had a bumpy transition from captivity to freedom. For example, even though no one lived in my apartment, it is absolutely filthy beyond all belief. The floors are covered with mouse poop and soot (the windows had been left open in my absence), so I have been trying to clean up while not allowing myself to feel overwhelmed physically (allergies) or emotionally in the process. Needless to say, I go out for walks often because I do feel overwhelmed nearly all the time.
My birds' cages were all filthy beyond belief, making me wonder if they had been cleaned more than once or twice during my entire hospital stay. I managed to clean them (a daunting, disgusting task), sweep and clean the kitchen and bathroom (an even more daunting and disgusting task) and wet-mop the kitchen floor, so now the place stinks of mouse piss. Is there any way to get rid of that horrible smell?
I gave my female Solomon Island Eclectus, Elektra, a shower -- her first in probably 4 months, and now her feathers are perfect and she is happy and yakking away in her sweet voice. It was so good to come home to her. I am trying not to miss my dead birds, although the entire social structure between my birds has changed, reminding me of those who are missing.
To celebrate my freedom, I painted my fingernails with purple sparkle fingernail polish. I also purchased a beautiful cashmere winter coat and a parka, courtesy of one of my devoted readers. They're not mink, but they're close enough for me.
I also did something I should never have done; I went out for a few beers with friends. The beer interacted with my drugs so I ended up falling ass over teakettle on my way to the subway and breaking a front tooth on the pavement. Three very kind New Yorkers scooped me off the pavement, slipped my cell phone into my coat pocket instead of pocketing it for themselves, and sent me on my way. I sobbed the entire way home on the subway over my once-perfect now-broken tooth, wondering how I am going to afford to get that fixed, and thinking of my tooth as epitomizing my entire life -- once shiney and perfect with promise and now broken beyond repair and obvious to anyone who looks at me.
Yesterday, I ended up calling the hospital and talking to several of the nurses for awhile, and feeling I was being crushed with an unbearable loneliness.
I lost the piece of paper that listed several appointments for today for aftercare clinics, so now I am giving this another try tomorrow. I put that piece of paper into a safe place but the place was so safe that even I couldn't find it when I needed to.
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How the heck did this nuthouse story get started in the first place?
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This too shall pass...
You are not your tooth. After all you've endured, you should realize that.
"wondering how I am going to afford to get that [tooth] fixed"
How much does it cost? Just curious, and thinking that it could be more affordable for you to do it in some other country (like, Poland).
I've been following the story but not commenting. Glad to know you are out of there.
I suggest "Simple Solutions" products for getting rid of the urine odor. I have used them for severe cat urine problems and I bet they would work for the mouse odor as well. (Other similar products are available but these worked the best in my experience.) They are available for example at Petco.
Lower-cost dental care may be available at dental schools, for example NYU or Columbia. I know that even "lower-cost" may be overwhelmingly out of your budget right now. Accidental injury to teeth is sometimes covered by regular health insurance, but I take it you have none at all, is that right? Alas.
But still, it is nice to know that New Yorkers were kind enough to get you and your cell phone on your way.
Please keep writing your tales for us if it helps you!
Please keep us up to date on how you are doing!
You had a little setback, but as I said before there is hope!
On my meds (I'm bipolar too, type two) drinking didn't change how alcohol effected me, but it did reduce how effective the meds worked. Drinking pushed me into a depressive state.
Its unfortunate that you might not be able to do things that you used to do, like going out for a few beers, but change can be for the better.
For your tooth check out the NYU dental school. They offer dental services for little or no cost. I know I used to live close to the NYU medical/dental school on east 25th.
NYU College of Dentistry, Patient FAQs
Since the bad smell of urine is usually an amine of some sort, something acidic like vinegar will probably help get it into aqueous solution and wash away, if you can find the surface that the urine was on.
I wanted to make another comment. I understand your unbearable loneliness. I will recommend again the MDSG groups on Wednesday (in midtown) and Friday (Union Square). They have groups just for bipolar people.
Your story is similar to mine. Being around People who also have BP will help. I will say this every comment I make on your blog: There Is Hope!
It's hard to have a serious problem and being alone with it, but there are people who are going through the same issues you are.
Its hard to take steps to help yourself when you are BP. Take baby steps and if you do there is... HOPE!
Yeah, this is the tough part, catching up with the world. Trust me, a chipped tooth is not the end of the world -- I've had one since 3rd grade or so (a couple of bullies were pushing me around...). (Admittedly, I'm pretty disinvested in my own appearance, being not only male, but faintly autistic (NLD).) You can certainly try NYU Dental, once you build up a bit of a stake.
It does sound like you should avoid alcohol for the time being, but definitely check out the MDSG folks. Also, you have my phone # -- be warned I answer the phone a little curtly, as I get many robocalls and wrong numbers,
"I put that piece of paper into a safe place but the place was so safe that even I couldn't find it when I needed to."
I've done that... what I try to do is pick a particular place for "all schedule items". That would include both a physical place for paper notes, but I also keep a particular computer file where I enter all appointments, with associated addresses and phone numbers.
Don't give up. My brother is currently going through the aftercare thing after being locked up for some sort of breakdown (doctors are very evasive about their precise diagnosis) - anyway, getting back to some kind of equilibrium always takes time.
By the way, did you know that 'Scientist, Interrupted' is an anagram of 'Reticent Nudist Priest'? And of 'pertinent tits is cured' (titter, indiscreet pun).
I see quite a bit of good advice here for a solution to the mouse urine question. I agree - look for one of the products made for getting rid of cat urine or similar smells - available at most pet stores. Vinegar would probably work okay too and isn't toxic.
Regarding the broken tooth - if the break isnt really bad, you could see if your dentist could do a temporary repair. I broke the tops off of 3 of my lower front teeth many years ago when my horse took a jump really weird and smashed me on the face with the back of her skull (eeek...very painful!). I didn't do anything about it right at the time (couldn't afford to have the teeth capped), but they looked pretty bad. A couple of years later, I changed dentists and my new dentist said he could try using that compound that is cured with ultraviolet (I think that's the process), to make a "temporary" repair that might last for awhile until I could afford better. I said, "Go for it!" and he did all three teeth. I think it cost me something like $90 and only took a few minutes. He didn't think they would last for long (no guarantees), but I'm pretty sure it's been something like 17 years and they're still there and look great. I have good teeth and people often comment on how nice they look, so I guess the temporary repairs don't show (I always considered my dentist to be something of an artist -- he's retired and does painting and sculpture now, so I guess that's just what he was). Anyhow, maybe you can find someone to do a quick temporary repair for cheap and then get the tooth fixed up better if and when you want to later on when you have the bucks for it.
Ohhhh My,I hate to "coo-coo" the phrase: "Drugs & alcohol don't mix well" and most drugs have a warning on the bottle. Live & learn. With your diagnosis your life is changed and following up with new life style changes are pertinent to treatment so be extra cautious so you don't fall back to old ways.After yrs. of drinking I have become a tea drinker(not Long Island,altho everyone thinks it is).I understand how you must feel about the tooth...my front plastic-type fillings fell out this past summer(only 4 yrs.old)and I look like Sadie Hawkins! So I rarely smile or laugh without holding my hand over my mouth in embarrassment. With an income of less than $10,000 a yr. and no insurance I also researched low-income dental possibilities. O.S.U. dental school has a program where the rates of pay for dental work I've found to be the cheapest for out of pocket so check the schools. There are state programs based on income with possible free service for the very poor(me)so I am in the process of qualifing and waiting on deteminations with 3 of the programs' dentists in my own county. We are all here to help so believe you are not the first or the last to to deal with humiliating problems.Tends to bring out the humbleness & apathy for others when in the same situation. Look on the bright side and be thankful it was only 1 tooth. Luv Ya and take care..........
Stay strong! You're bound to hit a few rough patches during your transition.
BTW -- Citric acid based cleaners are great for cleaning up animal urine. It is acidic and usually smells nice.
aloha
psilo
My roommate's cat has developed a peeing problem we're still trying to resolve, and Nature's Miracle (one of the enzyme formulas that breaks down the compounds in the urine) is a freaking miracle. I have used diluted bleach in the past (and probably would with mouse feces and urine for safety reasons, at least out here where Hantavirus is common), but only with all the windows open.