These past few days, I've been quite ill, such that I was unable to venture out today to the library where I use the free wifi (wifi is inconsistent in my apartment).
Anyway, this whole episode of illness began two days ago when a dark cloud of despair settled down over me. I felt physically okay, but the depression was so sudden and intense that I was unprepared for it. I contemplated going back to the hospital. But the next day, I was definetely ill and the depression had mostly lifted.
Normally, when there is a change in my physical condition, I go manic (agitated, hyperactive, unable to focus), so this was very surprising to me. Do any of you with mood disorders find that you have a sudden change in mood when becoming ill? If so, do you become depressed or manic? Have you noticed changes in this after beginning to use mood-altering drugs like I have?
Anyway, you all will be pleased to know that my birds and I have been sitting around and watching The Life of Birds when I felt good enough to sit upright.
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I'm not bipolar; I've just got basic clinical depression, so I don't know if it helps at all. But when I'm in the early stages of catching something, I often tend to feel a hit of the deadness/flatness which is how depression feels to me. But I've never been sure about the causality; before I started taking medication for depression, I was sick *a lot*; so I don't know whether I feel depressed because I'm getting sick, or I get sick because of the way I act when I'm feeling depressed.
Just as an interesting matter of timing, I've also been sick for a few days; and saturday, I was feeling depressed; saturday afternoon, I had an asthma attack shoveling snow, and that led straight into this horrible cough. (I'm coughing hard enough that I tore one of my vocal cords, and need to see a laryngologist as soon as the insurance from my new job kicks in.)
Wonder if there's some possible weather connection with mood disorders? I've noticed that the big noreaster type storms often seem to coincide with my funks.
I don't have mood changes that coincide with physical illness. This was the case before and after I was on meds. At least I have not noticed any because its very rare for me to get sick, only three times in the twelve tears I have been BP.
In my case my mood swings tend to be very random and are not connected to other events like stressful situations, lack of sleep, change of seasons, etc. Other people have mood swings when these happen, but I'm not one of them.
I've found that getting sick will cause me to sleep more, which I tend to do on a depressive swing. Together, they seem more notable. But I suppose it's just as easy to be sick and manic (read: highly irritable.) Storms will get me too, Mark, but usually only after a couple of days.
I've got to join into the "I feel crappy" club here, too. I thought I was getting sick, but it turned out to be early spring allergies.
Anyways, I hope you feel better soon!
Karmen:
I'm actually sort of the opposite with storms. The part where I tend to feel crappy is the period immediately preceeding the storm and right after it starts; once it's been going for a while, I start to feel better.
Interesting how we all vary so much, isn't it?
Mark; i know there is a body-brain connection in the immune system (it is through the macrophages, if i recall correctly) that can possibly lead to illness when feeling depressed so this might be the source of your illness-depression connection.
JPS; i am still learning about what happens with my moods when on meds, i guess, since my moods did change rapidly for just about any reason, or none. now, they change more slowly, but they still fluctuate a lot.
Karmen; allergies are awful, i suffer from them too and they sure can make a person miserable.
Mark; so let me get this straight; you feel depressed before a storm? do you think that coincides with a rapid change in weather to a low pressure front?
Its hard to find out what triggers mood swings, if there are any triggers for you. Some people have triggers, some don't. I really don't have triggers that I am aware of.
Have you tried mood charting? At the end of the day I would try and write down my moods and events of the day. This helped me track my mood changes and see if there was anything that triggered them. It also helped me determine which meds worked, the dosage, and even the time of day I took them.
There forms for mood charting you can download on mental health sites and drug company sites. I made my own using OpenOffice spreadsheet, its a free program. Charting my moods helped me alot.
Its a long process, but in a way its interesting because its like an experiment. Unfortunately you are the subject of the experiment ;)
O Lordy what fun it is to be up and down, constantly .
I stopped taking all meds three years ago. As expected I now tolerated few friends family, cry if i accidently run iver a door-mouse in the garage, and go to pieces at the death of a Western Grebe at the beach.
BUT I contend with my blindness, my aging, and all the human condition offers in a more honest fashion. without the meds used before.
Not for all I know, but isolation makes my sadness acceptable, others unaware of what is driving me quite up the wall, aren't in my everyday world. .
As to illness affecting mood, on med a most definite correlation. Off no up in mania or depression but only have Air America, no TV!
Your experience is pretty typical. I don't really get the same thing, but I generally find that when I'm sick or getting there, my compensations in general (for depression, anxiety, NLD) cut out. If I've currently got a background depression or anxiety trigger, that's going to be worse. The other interrelation I've noted is that when I get really effing sick, my depression goes away for the duration. I suspect this reflects a biological sense of priorities....
Mark: Your response is the standard "atmospheric ionization" response. Before the storm, there are lots of positive ions near ground level, which makes most people feel lousy. (Also seen in some cases of "sick building syndrome".) The rain washes those away and provides lots of negative ions, providing that "electric" after-the-rain feel (and smell).