This story has been around the block a few times, but I thought it was appropriate to share with you anyway.
A major research scientific institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to man and science. The new element has been named Bushcronium. The scientific symbol for the new Bushcronium is the letter "W".
Bushcronium has one neutron, twelve assistant neutrons, seventy-five deputy neutrons, and two hundred and twenty-four assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of three hundred and eleven.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity or concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass'.
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates FoxNewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude with more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
I think the atomic number of this new element should be 911 instead of 311. What do you think?
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errrr! W is already taken. Better make it Gw.
What about the strong nucular force interactions?
Wasn't this made by artificially bombarding Administratium with a neon oxide, cobalt nitride mix (NeO-CoN)?.
Yes, the valency may look wrong, but NeO-CoN is able to redefine reality for its own ends.
Bob
Does it decompose into Halliburtonium and Turdblossom?
All these elements are key components for the hallucinogenic Havidol.
Bushcronium is very unstable, showing the propensity to decay over time and to be easily charged. However, as Bushcronium transitions to lower and lower states, its morons and peons continue to exhibit positive spin.
Also, FoxNewsium creates positive yet false versions of Bushcronium, and tries to get other molecules to attatch to it and grow morons and peons. However, certain molecules clasified in the M.S.N.B.C grouping such as the Olbermanium and the Maddowium display the true negative side of Bushcronium, so other atoms do not accept the unstable peons and morons Bushcronium gives off.