Wow, Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital's ER has free wifi!

And there's plenty of power outlets (not in the waiting room, but in the emergency room -- ER -- itself) to plug my laptop into.

Who would have thought?

I am sitting in the ER right now seeking follow-up care on my fractured wrist, which I should have done last week. Basically, they need to remove this cast, remove the stitches and take x-rays to make sure that everything is where it is supposed to be, and then put on another cast, which I am stuck wearing for another 4 weeks. Since I don't have a doctor, I cannot get a referral to see someone (on short notice) unless I clog up the ER with my non-emergency situation. Otherwise, I could make an appointment with a private doctor, but the wait to see him or her is somewhere between 3 weeks and 2 months. Well, by then, I will have chewed this cast off my arm with my teeth!

Anyway, my untreated bipolar disorder is far more fascinating to the medical people than my busted and still painful wrist: they spend far more time asking me about that problem than my wrist, although one nurse did finally offer me pain medication (which I refused). I am not sure if their interest in my so-called "mental health" is due to the fact that I have no insurance to cover it and therefore, am not receiving any medical care for it; if it's because this is the ER I've been taken several times prior to being admitted to the nuthouse; or if it's because I've been sitting here crying for the past 20 minutes. They must not think I am "a danger to myself or others"; otherwise, they'd have confiscated my laptop (and all my clothes) by now.

Strangely, I cannot download the hospital webpage -- I wonder why? I am also surprised that no one has yelled at me for using my laptop in the ER. I guess it must be okay? It certainly calms me down and keeps me distracted enough that I've stopped crying.

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I second Cuttlefish's hugs - hang in there!

By ctenotrish (not verified) on 23 Mar 2009 #permalink

well, i am still here, but i've been moved from a chair next to a wall outlet to a bed in a room constructed of curtains, along with one solid wall that has roughly 2 dozen outlets on it. i assume this means the docs are sharpening their saw blade before they remove the cast .. i just hope they do something before my laptop battery konks out .. otherwise, i might have to do something that seems improper, on the surface of it, by whipping out my 20-foot long computer electrical cord!

Last time I was at the OB/GYN I noticed they had free Wifi as well. Next time I get a Pap Smear, I think I'll bring a laptop along! :)

I do hope they get you situated and you feel better very soon!

okay, so i am back from x-ray and sitting in a huuuge chair in the ER again, with four wall outlets at my elbow, literally. so i am plugged in, talking to you, my good peeps.

the x-rays are astonishingly .. full of broken bones and screws and stuff. a carpenter would really find it fascinating. the x-ray tech is impressed with the injury. she also spotted all the fractures (three) and wondered why the docs didn't "screw" another one of the fractures .. i am also somewhat unsure as to why they didn't fix it, but whatever.

and my arm is disgusting. i took a picture to add to the photo gallery and will be stopping by the hospital .. somewhere upstairs .. to pick up the x-rays on CD. apparently they do not email images, so i have to go through MORE paperwork to share the pics with you.

i also have to collect the pre-surgery images to share with you because they truly are disgusting. well, i think so.

and i also finally accepted some vicodin, so i am hoping to bliss out in a few more minutes (it takes roughly 35 minutes until it hits the bloodstream).

and then, the doc will return to rip the stitches out of my arm -- be ready to hear me scream!

so, i dunno if this is just a stream of consciousness thing or what, but have any of you broken a bone or had surgery or something that leaves a permanent mark on your body? do you find this to be disturbing or upsetting to realize that your once-new body is now scarred forever?

the first time that i had surgery (for a broken scaphoid bone in this same wrist), i was both fascinated by the medical side as well as repulsed by this "scarring" side. it took a long time for me to feel as though i'd dealt with it successfully, although it still bothers me at times.

but this time, i have a large still bloody wound .. six inches long? .. on the underside of my arm, extending along the radius from the wrist towards my elbow. regardless of how you look at it, this is going to be a big scar. it is really upsetting to see that i have another physical scar to add to my already sizable collection.

so how do you deal with this despair, this sadness, that you've fucked up your body once again?

I have several scars, the biggest of which is a 24-stitch line on my forehead, just at my hairline. I had skin cancer, non-life-threatening but it had to come out, and in a rather large chunk. I was terrified, and felt such despair the night before the surgery, that I would be hideous and my life would never be the same. And then it happened.

I healed. My friends helped me through a few weeks of hats and bandannas. My skin stretched back to normal, and my fears of looking Quasimodo-like went away. .

I'm rather proud of it now, along with a few other scars. They remind me that I can go through something awful, and come through alright.

Life scars us in many ways. Amazingly enough, we heal. Be proud, be resilient.

for better or for worse (and i could be jinxing life if only i believed in such things), i've never had a broken bone. rather dangerous body penetrations that left scars, yes. next to my right eye (missing it miraculously), a bicycle spoke, scar and 6-7 stitches about 50 years ago; below left knee, a piece of rebar, scar and stitches about 40 years ago; right hand, two fingers, a glass pipette shattered, caused a science teacher to faint (but looked cool before and after), numerous stitches and continued scarring, also about 40 years ago. what did i learn from these? (1) don't jump a hedge when you don't know what's on the other side during a game of tag, (2) don't wrestle in the gym at school, and (3) don't force a pipette into a cork without using protection.

others, too, but those come immediately to mind...

hang in there, kiddo!

Keep it positive my dear, as hard as that is sometimes.

Yes, I too have had a bad bone break - My ankle bone. I had to undergo an 11-hour surgery to fix it and even then, it was only a partial fix. Much joy! It is kind of a scary feeling knowing that you have more or less, permanently "ruined" a part of your body, that that part will never be the same again. I walk with a mild limp and deal with minor - and once in a while, not so minor - pain in the ankle joints. But, life does go on and, considering what I now (am trying) to do for a living, it is not a major factor. Thankfully.

You have endured a lot over the past couple of years and survived and maybe even managed to thrive a little. Your blog and writing are a testament to that. Just keep it going as best as you can.

Hang in there. Many, many hugs and best wishes.

--JK--

Sorry I didn't see this until today. Hopefully you're not still there! But kudos for putting on a brave face, staying remarkably chipper and keeping your fans up to date. Get well soon. Just be careful where you whip that 20 foot cord of yours!

Body is a temple of the mind. Mind is more important. The construct housing the mind will get scuffed and patched over the years.

I had a definitely non-athletic youth. A bit later I noticed that I like cross-country running. At the point I really begun to enjoy that, my knees begun complaining. Four-inch scars on both sides of both knees. Would not have happened if I had not got enthusiastic. Still, there they are. Spilled milk under the bridge, to mix a proverb with a metaphor.

My romantic interest finds these (and other) scars utterly fascinating. "How did this happen?", and then I get to recount another fascinating (or not) story. Storytelling you excel at.

Please get treatment for your bipolar disorder. It will change your life - and all for the good. Drugs are free for those with no insurance. Ask for a doctor to see you.