PSYCH Colombia: Voodoo-doll exorcisms

Anyone tried to watch the new USA Network series Psych? The one in which a sharp-eyed guy pretends to be psychic in order to get paid investigation gigs with the local police department? Well, don't bother. For one thing, the writers aren't having nearly as much fun making fun of psychics as they should. For another, it's already on hiatus until January. More importantly, however, the real Psych story is much more interesting.

Down in Colombia, it as it happens:

Colombia's chief prosecutor hired a psychic who hypnotized his staff and even performed an exorcism over a voodoo doll in exchange for a government paycheque and use of an armoured car. The ensuing scandal has mesmerized the nation. (AP, Sept. 19)

No doubt. According to the story, the psychic parlayed his relationship with none other than the Dalai Lama into an $1,800 a month job, which isn't bad by Colombia standards. Nice work if you can get it.

The federal prosecutor, Mario Iguaran, says he hired Armando Marti last year to help his stressed-out staff deal with a crushing caseload and to improve human relations.

Marti, a self-described clairvoyant, claims to have implicated corrupt workers in illegal wiretaps and bribery during the months he spent roaming the prosecutor's heavily fortified bunker, hypnotizing officials and writing up classified reports for Iguaran about staff loyalty. He says workers confessed to deep secrets and ratted out colleagues as they stared into his eyes. The operation, according to leaked documents published by the newsweekly Semana, was code-named "Mission Perseus of Zeus."

The revelation that Marti was granted unfettered access has plunged into scandal one of Colombia's most respected institutions, an independent body responsible for investigating and prosecuting crimes in a country torn by decades of violent, drug-fuelled conflict. In one incident, recounted by Marti to Semana, he performed a candlelit exorcism to neutralize a voodoo doll found stabbed with needles in the wastebasket of Iguaran's former top assistant.

The best part is no one is denying the story.

In a telephone interview with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Marti called the Semana article, titled "The Federal Prosecutor's Rasputin," accurate but sought to dispel the emphasis it placed on black magic. "My work didn't consist of witchcraft or anything paranormal, but scientifically proven techniques to boost morale and release tension among the staff," he said.

Right. Scientifically proven voodoo-doll exorcisms.

Colombians, it seems, are "spellbound." Of course they are.