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"After the dolphin assassins escaped custody during Hurricane Katrina, the Navy decided they needed something more sluggish but just as violent. Hence, cyborg elephant seal assassins."

I knew the military was having trouble with recruiting, but these are the new Navy Seals?

The US Military, mounting guns on anything that moves for over 200 years.

Okay, on the count of three, I'll light it, then we run!

Denny Hastert gets a makeover.

I think we're going to need the 50 gallons of massage oil after all.

Tired of his high-profile status, TV-star Jimmy Smitts decides to retire to a quieter life, practicing veterinary medicine on marine mammals.

Dave

"They laughed at me... they said I was mad... but I'll show them... with my robot seal!"

"I know it ain't pleasant but I really need you to keep your eyes on the job while you're attaching the rectal implant."

Our robot sand-droid should blend right in with the sand people of Tattooine.

(But the winner is already the "OK, On the count of three,...")

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology..."

Elephant seals with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads!

"Damn, isn't the one on my head enough?"

O.K. it's done, set the table

"like my proboscis?"

these guys are worse than gnats

what? i'm chopped liver?

beam me up Scottie

the least you could do is feed me 10 kilos of crab

where the hell is a bull when you need one?

so tell me. do you think i have enough blubber?

well that was a sloppy stick in the carotid. thanks alot

look you stupid fooking humans, stop wasting your time on me and get your selfish asses in gear. you have already doomed 25% of the world's biota, if not more. stop it you fools.

Scientists are currently putting the finishing touches to the first ever chef robot. The robot, named AFIKZX48K, is capable of cooking Sichuan, Shandong and Canton cuisines. Four years and over $2,500,000 was spent on developing the robot.