I'm proud to report that Ted Haggard is no longer gay since he underwent three whole weeks of very intensive counseling. He was so impressed with his counseling that him and his wife are going to attend university and get their masters degrees in psychology (I'm psyched he's joining me in my chosen profession!). It sounds like they'll be going to Phoenix Online University or somewhere similar and hopefully counseling people to ungay themselves just like he was so successful in doing! All praise Rev. Haggard!
The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is "completely heterosexual" and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.
That is according to one of the disgraced pastor's overseers, who on Monday revealed new details about where Haggard has been and where he is headed.
The Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur also said the four-man oversight board strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work instead of Christian ministry if Haggard and his wife follow through on plans to earn master's degrees in psychology.
Haggard broke a three-month silence in e-mails over the weekend to select members of his former church. New Life Church interim senior pastor Ross Parsley forwarded Haggard's message to the wider church body Monday.
In the message, Haggard revealed that he and his wife, Gayle, intend to leave Colorado Springs and pursue master's degrees through online courses.
Just you wait Pastor Ted. There will be a HUGE SALE at Crate & Barrell, and "Teh Gay" will be all over you again!
BTW - From the look on Hagard's face on the poster, he still "enjoys" getting behind Tony Perkins, if you know what I mean...
And really... a Masters from an online university????
30 whole days WOOOOOHHHOOO. Maybe he can cure the catholic priest now.
And for $$$$ you too can get a master degree in those 30 days...
Just shaking my head....
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brian.. .did you write this?
Yeah I did, but you can't steal the idea, cuz it's gonna make me millions if the PhD doesn't work out ;)
Wednesday's (feb 7 2007) "Bad Reporter" in the Chron is one to clip and paste.
Now he can set up his own lucrative chain of conversion centers for sexual deviants, plus another franchise of Christian drug rehab centers.
And who can forget The Jerusalem Diet: The "One Day" Approach to Reach Your Ideal Weight--and Stay There?? Or the perenially popular Primary Purpose: Making It Hard for People to Go to Hell from Your City? He has so many career options!