Tool of heretics

i-34b48995a5829cdc0fc06f5bdfa455f2-octodog.jpg

I have been informed of the existence of this device.

Do not be fooled. It transforms an inelegant tube-shaped dense paste of chopped chordate parts into a crude, inaccurate semblance of that pinnacle of molluscan evolution, the cephalopod. What next? Will Steven Spielberg take a mound of hamburger, call it George Clooney, and give it a starring role in his next movie? Shall I put a pot of alphabet soup on the stove and call it lyric poetry?

It is blasphemy. When the Great Old Ones come, I know who will be eaten first.

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Not to worry, mate, a proper tube steak is likely to contain bits from any old phyla that happen to be handy...

By CMOT Dibbler (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

I had a similar tubesteak trick I used to do for my kids - not a cephalopod, but still nicely spineless. If (before cooking) you slice the hotdog longitudinally into quarters, starting from each end, but stopping about 1 cm from the middle, the cooked hot dog ends up as a reasonable facsimile of a spider with 8 curly wiggly legs. And, just to be even more iconoclastic, such a creature will not fit in a hotdog bun, so you have to use a hamburger bun instead.

By Theo Bromine (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

I first read "chordate" as "chocolate," and thought it didn't sound too bad. The reality is something of a letdown.

But it's a very high quality tool. The ad says so.

Shall I put a pot of alphabet soup on the stove and call it lyric poetry?

Yes, you should.

By Bayesian Bouff… (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

Will Steven Spielberg take a mound of hamburger, call it George Clooney, and give it a starring role in his next movie?

You mean this hasn't already happened?

But... Octo-dogs are the Tick's favorite food! Ain't no way the Tick is going to lose to some elder god thing.

Still, though, I feel that true octo-dog artistry can only be created by hand.

By Christopher (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

It is blasphemy. When the Great Old Ones come, I know who will be eaten first.

Don't you mean "be eaten last"?

By Kristjan Wager (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

I have one, got it at the local Aquarium when they were having Octopus Days. It actually is pretty high-quality. All the bits are made of very heavy plastic, and it's pretty easy even to wash. It's also just plain cute, and has a place of honor on my kitchen counter.
My theory is that my many varied cephalopod toys and art and t-shirts will spare me from anything *too* awful. Plus I don't eat cephalopods.
Who's the *real* blasphemer here?

When the Great Old Ones come, I know who will be eaten first.

Let it be me, O Great Cthulhu!

Octodogs are cute, but I prefer to eat the real thing. Mmm, tako.

By Tara Mobley (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

There's a discussion of octopoid personality in the NYT Magazine section today. You will be disappointed that there's no picture of the winner of the Miss Congeniality Award.

By Roger Bigod (not verified) on 22 Jan 2006 #permalink

I was actually thinking of you when I used that link in a DVD review post I did Saturday... I saw it on Food Network's "Ham on the Street," it's available in Brooklyn at the Aquarium, and I'm actually thinking of getting one (except hot dogs tend to be sodium-laden)...

That's cool! My oldest loves hotdogs - cold hotdogs. He'd probably love this thing.

My sources tell me the Octodog is very common in Japanese households with children.

By Bayesian Bouff… (not verified) on 23 Jan 2006 #permalink