The defaming continues!

I walk into a room and people fall asleep. If I start talking, catatonia and death ensue.

Is this really what it's like in your classroom?

Oh, yeah. At least the high mortality rate keeps the class sizes low.

` Survival of the most attentive!

So... what will be your choice of weapon, when Ed Brayton sends his second to knock on your door? I recommend a couple of old, muzzle-loaded pistols. I promise to give a fair and even-handed account of the proceedings, if the two of you accept my offer to referee. While obviously not to be done for such a frivolous reason, I'll point out that a duel serves wonders for the reputation.

But don't the neighbors always say, when asked by the local news media their impressions of the guy who recently shot up the local McDonald's, "He was low-key."?

Everyone will testify to the truth of what I say.

*zzzzzzzzzzz*

*snort*

huh? what?

oh, yeah.

*zzzzzzzz*

PZ, the way you describe yourself may be true but, with time, you may evolve.

So the real reasons you like cephalopods are that they don't have eyelids to close, and they would have died in a year or two anyway. The perfect students!

I've got the personality and verve of a cheap mannequin.

Sounds like my first trigonometry teacher, the one whose class I failed because I was getting panic attacks from the boredom.

I had an uncle that managed to bore a man to death once. My uncle was giving a speech, and one of the audience just collapsed. Curiously, this story has featured in all of said uncle's speeches ever since.

Oh dear ... you look like ... and now they say you behave like ... well ... dare I say it? Oh well, what the heck! A Lutheran ... even your photo screams, "Lutheran!" The slacks! That sleeveless sweater! Hands timidly clasped! A real life Lake Wobegon Lutheran ...

PZ Myers: I walk into a room and people fall asleep. If I start talking, catatonia and death ensue.

Rather difficult claims to verify, with no conscious or surviving witnesses.

Your vocal cords must be exceptionally, ah, strident, to have such an effect on listeners already sleeping.

Have you received any requests (yet) to counsel prisoners held in Iraq or Texas?

The descriptor reticent comes to mind ..

I heard you on the Infidel Guy podcast a couple months back and I've only just woken up. No seriously, you were good on that show and hope you get on other of the science & skepticism podcasts soon.

All right. Yes, it's true.

I haven't met you in person, but I remember listening to an interview some time back. COMPLETELY different presence--demure, even (dare I say) sort of "hedgy."

I want to be the first to testify that I have never fallen asleep over my keyboard while reading you, sir. Obviously you're not trying hard enough!

Don't worry, PZ - with any luck, gene therapy will advance enough in the next few years that it can turn you into the 10 feet tall horned beast that everyone expects ;)

Perhaps it's just me, but somebody whose very voice kills doesn't strike me as 'boring'.

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.