Superman is doomed!

Bwahahahaha! At least … we have a source for Kryptonite!

Researchers from mining group Rio Tinto discovered the unusual mineral and enlisted the help of Dr Stanley when they could not match it with anything known previously to science.

Once the London expert had unravelled the mineral's chemical make-up, he was shocked to discover this formula was already referenced in literature - albeit fictional literature.

"Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral's chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns.

"The new mineral does not contain fluorine (which it does in the film) and is white rather than green but, in all other respects, the chemistry matches that for the rock containing kryptonite."

Wait … it's white? Phooey. We need the green stuff. As everyone knows, white kryptonite only affects plants. Boring!

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Any real Superman fan would know that it's 'Luthor' not 'Luther'.

By Christian Burnham (not verified) on 24 Apr 2007 #permalink

Can this be true?
According to this web-page

http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/LexLuthor.html

Lex Luthor is depicted as a Nietzschean atheist in comics, although he is rarely (if ever) overtly identified by name as such.

...

Brian Azzarello's miniseries Lex Luthor: Man of Steel delved into the notion that Luthor hates Superman because the thought of Superman saving people conflicts with Luthor's philosophy as a secular humanist.

By Christian Burnham (not verified) on 24 Apr 2007 #permalink

Hmpf. *Boring*. You try living a couple of days with no benefit from photosynthesis and see how you like it.

Kids today with their post-modern retconning.

Everyone knows the REAL reason Luthor hates Superman.

When they were teens, they were best friends until a lab accident caused Luthor's hair to fall out. He blamed Superboy for not putting out the chemical fire in time to save his crimson locks, and has hated the Kryptonian ever since.

If only the 1960's Silver Age comics had known about Rogaine, a lot of misery could have been avoided.

Actually, the Silver Age Luthor rocked. In one imaginary tale (unlike the other stories, which were factual!), he managed to kill Superman (getting out of a lifetime prison sentence by curing cancer, so the parole board cut him some slack). He was then put on trial by the Kryptonians in the bottle city of Kandor (they shrunk Luthor to bring him to their size). In one two panel scene, we see Luthor in the dock, staring at his accusors. In one panel, he is motionless, no thought or speech bubbles. The next panel is the same as the first, only now he is thinking "puny ants!".
Hardcore.

And why, may I ask, did everyone think to e-mail me this story today?!

I must say PZ, knowing that white Kryptonite only harms plants - way to let your geek flag fly!

What a mystery. I have no idea why people would be sending you that story. Do you have a secret identity as a super-villain?

Does white kryptonite also affect bees? I think this might be the cause of colony collapse disorder.

By Christian Burnham (not verified) on 24 Apr 2007 #permalink

Wait a second, April 1st was three weeks ago. This is true?

Not a missed opportunity, if you had read the link once you've clicked on it:

"The mineral cannot be called kryptonite under international nomenclature rules because it has nothing to do with krypton - a real element in the Periodic Table that takes the form of a gas."

There are also the nearly-as-mighty-as-Superman team of DC Comics lawyers who rather zealously guard their Superman related copyrights...

And why would saving people conflict with being a secular humanist???

This is when I channel Mandy Patinkin "You keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means..."

PZ said: "Do you have a secret identity as a super-villain?"

Not just one. After all, in ancient greek, "Kakalios" means:

The Evil One!

And when the stars are right, I'll return. But for now, I'm off to R'ylah where I lie, dreaming!

Cheers,

Jim

Again with the animal chauvinism!

I must say the kryptonite story struck me as rather pathetic. So it's like kryptonite except it has different properties and is a different colour and isn't called that; it shares only an obscure label with the fictional stuff.. The story should have been headed `Grant Renewal Imminent, Bad Science Story Shock'.

Xander: "Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, Slayer kryptonite."

Oz: "Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills."

Xander: "You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers."

Oz: "Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird..."

Buffy: "Guys? Reality?"

I may not have done well in chemistry, but wouldn't "real" kryptonite be KrO2 or something? Or a salt based on that compound, perhaps? I know that KrF2 exists and oxygen can have the same oxidation state as fluorine in some cases (I think).

So, when do we discover the mutant spiders who affect your DNA? Because I CALL THAT ONE, people.

By Chinchillazilla (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Yes, krypton does have a chemistry.

Incidentally, people who can't even spell R'lyeh should rather care about lesser evils.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

White cryptonite only affects plants? Bah, I dispute the accuracy of your source given that they don't even list pink kryptonite.

David Marjanović: "Incidentally, people who can't even spell R'lyeh should rather care about lesser evils."

I see that you are using the American spelling. Quaint.

Seriously, I have a hard enough time spelling real words!

To quote George Kauffman, the only firm rule of spelling I know is that there's only one z in is!

Since green K only affects Kryptonians, wouldn't that make it more boring than white? I mean, we at least have plants here. (ok, and long-term exposure gives regular people cancer, but we're not short on substances that do that)

(also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought of pink Kryptonite. Sneak that into congress or Fox News headquarters, it would be hilarious)

I must say the kryptonite story struck me as rather pathetic. So it's like kryptonite except it has different properties and is a different colour and isn't called that; it shares only an obscure label with the fictional stuff.. The story should have been headed `Grant Renewal Imminent, Bad Science Story Shock'.

Not only that, but wasn't the discription "sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide" only used in that movie? I mean, I'm not a huge Superman fan, but I could have sworn that in the comic books and on Smallville, kryptonite is always described as an element. When I saw that in the movie, I assumed either that the moviemakers figured that making up a completely new element was too implausible, so they just strung together some scientific terms and made kryptonite a compound. Either that (because come on, unrealistic? So what?) or the label in the museum only referred to a real-world rock that the "mysterious asteroid" was embedded in/had been misidentified as.

Well. Maybe in the comics its an element, but in umm.. movie 2, I think, an attempt was initially made to make some, but it contained an element the computer used to develop it failed to identify, so the character substituted Nicotine instead. That caused Superman to split into a pansy pacifist version of himself that didn't have a hero in him and a drunkard, callous ass. Later the pansy version manages to get up the courage to do something about it, trashes the nutty version of himself, and somehow regains all his powers.

No idea if the comics included it as an element or not. Didn't read a lot of comics. But, they do change over time, to adapt themselves of more realistic versions of reality, at least as much as they "can" without breaking the system. Like making the Hulk have a unique genetic factor that caused Gamma radiation to make him go Hulk, instead of killing him like it would everyone else. It still doesn't make sense completely, but it makes way more sense than, "If someone microwaves you, you will turn into a super hero." lol

Still. Why not try to synthesize some of this stuff with fluorine added? Would be damn funny if it glowed green then under UV, instead of pink-orange. lol

I mean, I'm not a huge Superman fan, but I could have sworn that in the comic books and on Smallville, kryptonite is always described as an element.

It's consistently an element in the Post-Crisis comics; or at minimum, it contains at least one element not found on Earth (or on Krypton, prior to the detonation of a nuclear device.) Pre-Crisis, I'm not sure; Element Lad could transmute it into other materials, but Element Lad could do lots of stuff that properly falls under chemistry, not nuclear transmutation.

By Anton Mates (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink

Well. Maybe in the comics its an element, but in umm.. movie 2, I think, an attempt was initially made to make some, but it contained an element the computer used to develop it failed to identify, so the character substituted Nicotine instead.

Ah yes, that would be movie 3, and the computer doing this was invented by (or at least, being used by) Richard Pryor.

Yes, krypton does have a chemistry.

Incidentally, people who can't even spell R'lyeh should rather care about lesser evils.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 25 Apr 2007 #permalink