Creationism is too a science!

Why, all you have to do is browse the high quality research proposals submitted to the Institute of Applied Creation Science to see what a promising program they've got.

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Am I the only one who sees a quote mine in the works?

By dogmeatib (not verified) on 23 Nov 2007 #permalink

What the...? "Advanced heterosexual math?" What the hell is that?

These people play in a whole different kind of ballpark, don't they, PZ?

This is, I assume, satire? Please someone confirm that it's satire.

Ooops... hahaha. Should have read a little more closely. It's the tryptophan hangover.

However, I still stand by my assertion that the creationists still play in a whole different kind of ballpark.

Oh hey guys, it's SomethingAwful.

By Nick Gardner (not verified) on 23 Nov 2007 #permalink

It's a spoof, but it's a highly believable spoof.

I wonder if any christians will fall for it, though?

I almost got nailed by it too, then I saw that it was somethingawful.

I still think it would have been funnier if it HAD been real. in a sad sort of way, of course.

By Yossarian (not verified) on 23 Nov 2007 #permalink

Oh, The Onion, they have really outdone themselves on this one. It's a masterpiece. But why no link from their home site to this spoof one?

By Watt de Fawke (not verified) on 23 Nov 2007 #permalink

It's not linked from The Onion because it wasn't made by The Onion. Good lord, man, The Onion doesn't have a monopoly on Internet satire!

I can't believe my proposal didn't even make the list:

DNA sequencing of all species of snake, to find which is responsible for the "Fall From Grace". If we could isolate Satan's DNA, we could perhaps clone it and...what a weapon for the Christian Reicht! No philosophy could stand against us!

By NicNicholson (not verified) on 23 Nov 2007 #permalink

Sounds like PZ may have stairs in his house?

My question is:

why didn't God create these depressed long-lived worms before we did?

This seems to me like, say, a Brian Aldiss story about depressed immortal humans, maybe titled "The Woe Is Me Galaxy."

Antidepressant Found To Extend Lifespan In C. Elegans

Roundworm Caenorhabditis elegans. (Credit: Amy Pasouinelli, Image courtesy of NIH)

ScienceDaily (Nov. 22, 2007) -- A team of scientists led by Howard Hughes Medical Institute (HHMI) investigator Linda B. Buck has found that a drug used to treat depression can extend the lifespan of adult roundworms.

Buck and colleagues Michael Petrascheck and Xiaolan Ye report in the November 22, 2007, issue of the journal Nature, that the antidepressant drug mianserin can extend the lifespan of the nematode Caenorhabditis elegans by about 30 percent.

Intriguingly, the drug may act by mimicking the effects of caloric restriction, which has been shown to retard the effects of aging in a variety of animals ranging from worms and flies to mammals.

"Our studies indicate that lifespan extension by mianserin involves mechanisms associated with lifespan extension by dietary restriction," said Buck, a member of the Basic Sciences Division of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. "We don't have an explanation for this. All we can say is that if we give the drug to caloric restricted animals, it doesn't increase their lifespan any further. That suggests the same mechanism may be involved."

Researchers don't yet understand exactly how mianserin staves off the effects of aging. But the drug appears to act the same way in both C. elegans and humans: by blocking certain receptors for the neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical that cells use to communicate, helping them regulate many functions, including mood, appetite, and sensory perception.

Buck said it was a surprise to find that a drug used to treat depression in humans could extend lifespan in worms. The researchers in Buck's lab found that in addition to inhibiting certain serotonin receptors in the worm, it also blocked receptors for another neurotransmitter, octopamine.

A number of observations support the idea that serotonin and octopamine may complement one another in a physiological context, Buck explained, with serotonin signaling the presence of food and octopamine signaling its absence or a state of starvation. C. elegans, for instance, usually only lays eggs when food is on hand. But serotonin stimulates egg laying in the absence of food, while octopamine inhibits egg laying even when food is nearby. Another example of interplay between the two chemicals is that pharyngeal pumping, the mechanism by which worms ingest food, is jump-started by serotonin and thwarted by octopamine.

"In our studies, mianserin had a much greater inhibitory effect on the serotonin receptor than the octopamine receptor," she said. "One possibility is that there is a dynamic equilibrium between serotonin and octopamine signaling and the drug tips the balance in the direction of octopamine signaling, producing a perceived, though not real, state of starvation that activates aging mechanisms downstream of dietary restriction."

Buck and her colleagues chose to focus on the effects of mianserin based on the results of a search through 88,000 chemicals for agents that extended the lifespan of nematodes. They found 115 such chemicals. In follow-up studies of one chemical, they found four additional compounds, including mianserin, that extended lifespan by 20-33 percent. All four compounds inhibit certain types of serotonin receptors in humans.

"We screened a wide variety of chemicals without knowing anything about them except that they were small molecules," Buck noted. "By screening adult animals with this extremely varied panel of compounds, we hoped to identify drugs that could increase lifespan in adults, even though some might have a deleterious effect on the developing animal."

By identifying drugs that influence lifespan, Buck added, it may be possible to home in on how those drugs act and contribute to a growing body of knowledge about the genetic mechanisms of aging.

"Other researchers have done beautiful work using molecular genetic approaches to identify genes involved in aging," she said. "We decided to take a chemical approach. By finding chemicals that enhance longevity, and then finding the targets of those chemicals, it may be possible to identify additional genes important in aging. In addition, the chemical approach could point to drugs suitable for testing in mammals."

Buck said that her group has yet to identify what kinds of cells are affected by the drug, because while the serotonin receptors involved are only found on neurons, many types of cells -- not just cells of the nervous system -- have receptors for octopamine.

Adapted from materials provided by Howard Hughes Medical Institute.
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Howard Hughes Medical Institute (2007, November 22). Antidepressant Found To Extend Lifespan In C. Elegans. ScienceDaily. Retrieved November 23, 2007, from http://www.sciencedaily.com /releases/2007/11/071121144946.htm

Neat. So this publication is showing that real scientific research is being voted out by religious "nuts." And any "condemnation" program that elects to attempt to change human behavior is voted in as substantial supported church activities.

At least they recognize their boundaries!

We only have one life, but if you tried to tell Christians that it has been scientifically calculated that there is a finite number of girasas available at any point in time for action on earth or, for instance, within one particular church group, I would not like to be there to assess the reaction.

Those people hold so tightly to the hope that they have been given at church, that it actually scares me to think that they are holding on to an actual living being - a girasas - that in limited numbers is trying to become a settlement team on earth.

Picture humans sending a colony to another planet and how those humans would choose the best activities for occupying and promoting their type of life on that planet (equipped with its own life presently).

Now try to understand the dilemma we are facing in communicating to large groups of people that in order for the girasas to effect their neighbor or the stranger down the street, it has to temporarily leave them and begin a process of "ascension" upon another human.

How are they going to deal with the loss of this asset? Does a church have one or more girasas working within it? I think we should try to contact a member of this kingdom and find out their number so we can better assess how to distribute their help.

I'm sorry Brenda, but what the hell are you talking about?

Never mind. I visited your site.

Either realise that every stray thought you have is not revealed truth, or lay off the hash brownies.

This type of research is not really within my area of expertise, but they funded 3 of 7 proposals. That is a 43% success rate, and it beats the hell out of the federal agencies. When is their next deadline for applications?

It's sad when they out crazy the christians with woo.

Girases? Have you been listening to Chopra audiobooks again?

It's sad when they out crazy the christians with woo.

Girases? Have you been listening to Chopra audiobooks again?

Posted by: Steve_C

I thought it sounded like some hard-core crystal-gripper woo.

Exactly. Crazy universal quantum consciousness woo.

Exactly. Crazy universal quantum consciousness woo.

Posted by: Steve_C

Indeed. The last time I saw woo like that, it was served as a side dish to a turducken.

Laugh all you want, unbelievers, but the creationists are about to complete work on their time machine that will enable them to go back and rearrange all those fossils so that the flowering plants and the Trilobites will occupy the same stratum. Wha-hahahahaha!

Oh, and to grab some "clean money." I bribed them. They can be bribed. ;-)

Laugh all you want, unbelievers, but the creationists are about to complete work on their time machine that will enable them to go back and rearrange all those fossils so that the flowering plants and the Trilobites will occupy the same stratum. Wha-hahahahaha!

Posted by: Kristine

I think they'll find it a little tough sailing since they're incapable of going back more than six thousand years.

Then again, they may wind up in the Time of Legends where you can be sure of catching old boots, cans, hat racks, boxes; instead of today where it's prawns all the bloody time.

Laugh all you want, unbelievers, but the creationists are about to complete work on their time machine that will enable them to go back and rearrange all those fossils so that the flowering plants and the Trilobites will occupy the same stratum. Wha-hahahahaha!

Posted by: Kristine

I think they'll find it a little tough sailing since they're incapable of going back more than six thousand years.

Then again, they may wind up in the Time of Legends where you can be sure of catching old boots, cans, hat racks, boxes; instead of today where it's prawns all the bloody time.

One of the silly things that we would do as kids was to hold our hand over our eyes and say to someone in plain sight, "You can't see me!"

Funny, I can't for the life of me figure out why that memory was just evoked. Hm.

By Crudely Wrott (not verified) on 24 Nov 2007 #permalink

Meanwhile, Paul Davies opines in today's New York Times that "Until science comes up with a testable theory of the laws of the universe, its claim to be free of faith is manifestly bogus."

But Kristine, if they do eventually get their time machine working, wouldn't we already know about it now? Gotta love time travel paradoxes.

Re: #27

Then again, they may wind up in the Time of Legends where you can be sure of catching old boots, cans, hat racks, boxes; instead of today where it's prawns all the bloody time.

I would have started with lasers, 8:00, day 1.

-- CV

By CortxVortx (not verified) on 27 Nov 2007 #permalink