Landlocked midwesterner desires intimate knowledge of passionate molluscs

All right, people, I give up. Everyone has been sending me links to this story about a recent publication — it made the CBC, ScienceDaily, CNN, the Telegraph, and who knows what else — but I haven't been able to get my hands on the original science article: Huffard CL, Caldwell RL, Boneka F (2008) Mating behavior of Abdopus aculeatus (d'Orbigny 1834) (Cephalopoda: Octopodidae) in the wild. It's published in Marine Biology, sensibly enough, but out here on the prairie we don't get much call for tales of kinky tentacle sex in the sea … or, perhaps, it's all sublimated or hidden away (one does wonder what The Dream of the Soybean Farmer's Wife might be).

Anyway, I ask this tentatively because every time I've asked for papers here I get inundated, but could someone please send me a pdf? I'll announce it here as soon as I get one.

Hooray! I've got a copy already! I think this is what we call instant gratification. Thanks all.

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There. I sent it to you via my UNCW address.

The Science Daily article says, of mating, "it usually begins with the male octopus poking the female with his long, flexible, hectocotylus arm and then slipping it into her mantle cavity". For some reason, I can't read this without hearing Barry White music in my head.

The Dream of the Soybean Farmer's Wife - Ben Wa Balls?

"[I]t usually begins with..."

So is this just foreplay, or is it the main event?

PZ, once you've read the full article, could you post your thoughts on it? Thanks.

Ya know, I've begun to worry about you, PZ.

How much contact have you had with octopi and squid? It's possible that you are in love with the idea of them but if you actually went fishing for them you'd have all your concepts about the little bastards shattered.

Perhaps it's the fact that I've been up about 26 hours talking.

By wildcardjack (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

>How much contact have you had with octopi and squid?

Ugh. The plural of "octopus" is "octopuses" or for sticklers "octopodes".

It comes from Greek, not Latin, so you don't pluralize "-us" as "-i" here.

As a passionate mollusc, I've learned--
Your desire is best not returned:
Interest leads to inspection
Which leads to dissection!
So, sorry PZ, you've been spurned!

#8: in an effort to make you jealous, I feel obligated to announce that I am wearing that shirt as I type this. And I was even wearing it before I saw that post!

(we now return you from this pointless aside to the similarly pointless discussion)

First time commenting... sorry for the OT, but can anybody explain or comment on this... ttp://science-community.sciam.com/blog-entry/C-David-Parsonss-Blog/Physical-Science-Verses-Darwinism/5800000242

Thanks PZ

Phila @ #8! I have that shirt!

The joke is, ten minutes after I recieved it I found out that the Japanese had gotten pictures of the live giant squid. I love my shirt but was saddened the funny-value went down about 50%.

By sublunary (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

"Crackpot" is not nearly strong enough a term for Parsons. I created an account there to "vote" - now having looked some of those submissions over, I want to take my registration back.

JC

By Jack Chastain (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

I reported Parsons blog as abuse -- it violates #6 on their Community Standards -- "For everyone's sake, don't sell anything here." as it seems to be set up solely for the purpose of selling his book(s).

Rene:

English is a living language.
The People have decided that octopi shall be favored over octopuses.
Thank you for the ancient/dead language lesson.

Check the OED, or today's kottke.org for a view of the future.

English is a living language.
The People have decided that octopi shall be favored over octopuses.
Thank you for the ancient/dead language lesson.

Chi, you rock.

Rene, go blow it out your ear.

Octopi is a much cooler word by far.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the OED does note that "octopi" is incorrect, does it not?

The People

?

which?

personally I like to use the singular AS the plural.

don't include me in your octopi cult!

:P

that is A squid.

these are squid.

that is an octopus.

these are octopus.

that is a fish.

these are fish.

there are many different kinds of fishes.

there are many different kinds of octopuses.

done.

I've eaten squid and also many kinds of fishes
but I think the octopuses are the most delicious.

By Fernando Magyar (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

I have to say that I was shocked when I found out that octododes were so short-lived. Having a mammalocentric worldview, I always equated high intelligence with a fairly long lifespan. Thankfully, it also assuages the guilt of loving to devour them.

By Longtime Lurker (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

I have to say that I was shocked when I found out that octododes were so short-lived. Having a mammalocentric worldview, I always equated high intelligence with a fairly long lifespan. Thankfully, it also assuages the guilt of loving to devour them.

Number one on my list of mad-scientist-hobby-projects is the postmenopausal octopus. Specifically, giant pacific octopus, Enteroctopus dofleini. Females die at about age 3 or 4, after caring for their developing offspring to hatching and dispersal. Males apparently live much longer, as their upper limit on lifespan is unknown. However, note that the largest E. dofleini ever measured was frickin' huge, more than 150 lbs, with reports of much larger individuals (I've heard credible reports of an individual of unreported sex, probably male, weighing something more than 500 lbs). Anyway, back to the mad science. Females die of malnurishment, essentially, and males are apparently rather useless despite their probably longer life spans. So, hook up a nutrient IV to a female octopus while she's caring for her eggs, and allow her to survive past reproduction. Then, prepare for your new life as chief slave of our new octopus overlords!

"Octopodes" sounds cool to me.
But for the love of all words that already exist, please say "active" rather than "proactive".
There has never been a single use of the term "proactive" (which, incidentally, would mean being in a state favoring action, or a state prior to action) which wasn't an attempt to differentiate one's stance from that of "reactive".
The word you mean is "active". If your boss demands a three syllable word instead, quit.

Sorry, personal peeve (personal peeve sounds dirty, doesn't it).
Autumn

Autumn, you RAWK! "Proactive" has to be the awfullest piece of corporate newspeak bull$#!+ ever. When I hear it, the first thing I want to do is barf, and the second thing is to ask: "As opposed to what? Conactive? Antiactive? Amateuractive?"

I used to think the most barf-inducing thing in the English language was that awful chirpy "And how are we today?" from the nurse who's just walked into your hospital room to do yet another round of seemingly meaningless poking and prodding, but "proactive" has it beaten hands down.

GAAK. Pass the Pepto-Bismol.

By themadlolscientist (not verified) on 03 Apr 2008 #permalink

Parsons is a Crackpot is an understatement! The creationist book series The Quest for Right is another example of creationism indistinguishable from satire.
http://questforright.com/quest3.htm
Also has a link to the SE Home School Expo.
Maybe someone should get a booth and hawk real science textbooks. Advertise the recent California decision and "Will your child be accepted into a Real college"?

But, Jim... they might be Expelled!