In the reality based community, when you've got a problem, you call an expert with some skills and training to deal with it. In the rest of the world, you call a priest to blame evil spirits and do nothing for a small pile of money. How else to explain asking a wizened old Catholic priest to explain 'perversions' and STDs?
Promiscuity, as well as homosexuality and pornography, says 73 year-old Fr. Jeremy Davies, is a form of sexual perversion and can lead to demonic possession. Offering what may be an explanation for the explosion of homosexuality in recent years, Fr. Davies said, "Among the causes of homosexuality is a contagious demonic factor."
Fr. Davies continues: "Even heterosexual promiscuity is a perversion; and intercourse, which belongs in the sanctuary of married love, can become a pathway not only for disease but also for evil spirits."
He goes on to blame all kinds of evils on demons. Forget medical explanations: we need to treat with leeches, stat, and if that doesn't work, an exorcism. And if that fails, there's always the 100% successful traditional treatment: tie them to a stick and set them on fire.
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This crap seems to be happening so often, I'm becoming less sensitive to it. Ugh!
I shouldn't be surprised by this sort of thing, but yet, I still am.
Leeches have their place:
http://www.medicalleech.info/
Let's not conflate them with completely useless things like geriatric exorcists.
-jcr
So, having sex is like receiving an injection of demon juice?
I mean, unless it's blessed by the priest?
What explosion of homosexuality in recent years? You're only seeing what was hidden because they no longer fear bigots like you!
Homosexuality exploded, did it? What color was the fireball?
I knew it!! You can catch teh gay.
Hey PZ,
I agree that Catholics suck but...
leeches are FDA approved in modern medicine.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0PDG/is_5_3/ai_n13457690
#6:
Or better yet, what color wasn't it?
This sort of thing is quite common still, and kills many many people. (Malaria, AIDS, anti-vaccination...)
It is so childish to ascribe agency to explain everything which you don't immediate understand. But that is exactly what many (if not most) religious people do. If you don't grok how someone with cancer can go into remission, it must be a miracle. Baffled by why some people are homosexual but you aren't (are are trying really hard not to be), it must be demonic possession. All the same inane inability to actually think.
Actually, reminds me of a bit in Neal Stephenson's Snowcrash... before medicine, every disease was an evil spirit.
Hm.
Fr. Davies says that "man trying to build a better world without God - another Tower of Babel".
It seems he prefers digging a pit of Babel instead, deep, dank and lightless. "Contagious demonic factor" indeed!
BTW, MaJeff, can't wait to hear your take on the contagious demonic factor :-)
BTW, MaJeff, can't wait to hear your take on the contagious demonic factor :-)
I'm all about "promoting homosexuality" demonic or not. The more the merrier!
I'm just disappointed in PZ writing about homosexuality so much on a scienceblog. I mean, three posts (That OK freak, Neil Patrick Harris, and this) in two days? Outrageous!
Bah! Nobody appreciated my joke? I must be losing my edge.
... or, more accurately, my mind.
The scariest part is he is a "qualified physician". I'm going to have to read that as "restricted".
"Forget medical explanations: we need to treat with leeches, stat, and if that doesn't work, an exorcism. And if that fails, there's always the 100% successful traditional treatment: tie them to a stick and set them on fire."
Hmmm - has the makings of a really good 'reality' TV show...
I know. I'm terribly disappointed. Just reading this blog is sure to turn people to the pink dark side.
I note he did not mention pederasty...Must be because it's just normal to a priest...
Crazy-talk like this is such a marvelous gift to the secular humanist movement -- the more demented and senile, the better, I say! Really, for the young people in the church just starting to doubt its authority, proclamations like these are so often a tipping point, turning moderate religious people into moderate skeptics. Seriously, we need to get a microphone into this decrepit old sleazeweasle's gob 24/7.
Personally I blame The Homosexual Agenda (TM). There's a chapter in there to cover all things, this included. Just ask Justice Scalia.
Wow. Just wow.
Every so often, I get complacent and start thinking that the state of reason in the world isn't that bad.
...and then some nut-job loonie makes an insane statement like this and I get brought down to ground... hard.
#21:
Man, I'm not even gay and I know the "Homosexual Agenda (TM)" is a load of shit.
Do people actually think the gays want anything besides equal rights?
MAJeff @ #13
Yeah, and I'm still waiting for someone to post a link to Neil Patrick Harris on the cover. Us hetero girls are still allowed to drool and all.
And your children. Don't forget that. For coveting or roasting depending on the kid.
#25:
Oh, right. The old "Gays can't reproduce, so they must recruit" fallacy.
Who's gonna complain about syphilis after they have been burned alive? No one, that's who.
coveting was supposed to be converting but... either or.
KoT
So does Teh Homersexaul Agenda have a subgroup with the EAC? Or is it the EAC that has a Homersexual Clique? Too many moving parts.
Catholics refuse the modern Gay. For them, it is besser to embrace the manly manlove of manhood. Just ask Tom Monaghan about those manly man embraces at Dominos Pizza. The close clutching that comes from the death threat of a 30 min or less delivery guarantee.
Dagon's Scales. If it had been any but the catholic church sharing little boys for raping, the Fed would have done a RICO on their @ss and confiscated all goods and property.
When 'Merican beleevers thought it was just their priest, they could still hold to the faith. When it became obvious that nearly all of the church had broken their vows, the faithful could no longer accept the pronouncements from the people that enabled the rapists. When Father BoyRaper tells you that birth control is a vile, evil, nasty, perverse, abhorrent act...you recall his many,many sessions with your son.
It was bold, yet understated. Marvelous earthtones with a tasteful flash of highlight. It was FAAAABULOUS!!! and REALLY HOT!!!
//Even heterosexual promiscuity is a perversion; and intercourse, which belongs in the sanctuary of married love, can become a pathway not only for disease but also for evil spirits."//
Arrrrrghhhh,the evil word : INTERCOURSE....*shivers*
Olympic games lead to Beach Volleyball,
Beach Volleyball leads to girls in bikinis padding their bums,
girls in bikinis padding their bums leads to erections,
erections....lead to the dark side.
Think flaming sweaty leather.
I know I am
You feel it too, huh ?
What are you wearing ?
If it had been any but the catholic church sharing little boys for raping, the Fed would have done a RICO on their @ss and confiscated all goods and property.
The record of the federal government's do-nothing policy towards Scientology says otherwise.
Basically, "religion" is a magic word that paralyzes law enforcement. It's not just the catholics who get that particular free ride.
-jcr
#31: Purple, then?
(Purple flames are hotter than blue flames. I might have heard wrong. Also, purple is thematically appropriate.)
Yeah, that's a form of birth control! The hypocrisy!
He's 73, you say? Surely a lie! To my certain knowledge he's been kept locked up in the crypt of Westminster Abbey since Disraeli's government abolished the role of Witchsmeller Poursuivaunt!
Yon reporter must have caught him on the one day a year when he's let out so they can change the straw in his bedding.
So... Homosexuality causes demonic possession and demonic possession causes homosexuality?
Kobra @25:
"We are the Gay. Your children will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
BDC @ 28
I outsmarted their Agenda, I turned my children into magical Crackers and gave that to the Gays.
They can nail those crackers all they want
Oh wait somebody already thought of that.
Wasn't that a subplot in Hansel and Gretal?
or something ?
#40:
"They can nail those crackers all they want "
Pun of the week?
Come on, he can't help himself, the power of christ compells him.
"The reality based community", that's a good one
wait isn't religiousity a perversion?
or is religiousity just a schizotypal pathology?
i always forget this and hope its NOT gonna be on the final.
OMG this article is hysterical
Satanists are rational? Nobody that dresses like that is entirely rational.
Awesome pun
Or moistened, I suppose.
That one made my brane fall out. And what does Fr. stand for?
Please don't tell me it's Friar.
Holy crap, I have visions of manly men prancing merrily about in Sherwood Forest, now.
SAVE ME from the DEMONS!!
auuuuugh
"atheist scientism" ?
That's a new one for me.
That's how I know I'm not possessed.
I never found the power of Christ very compelling.
... intercourse, which belongs in the sanctuary of married love....
There I was thinking it belonged in the "priest-altar boy sanctuary".
Very confusing. But I am glad some old shrivelled-up-testicled fart has set the record straight.
I prefer Scientistic Atheology. It sounds more wizardly.
This clown's ultimate leader is an old man who likes wearing pretty dresses, gaudy jewelry, fancy slippers, and wacky hats -- and who prefers the exclusive company of similar old men?
None of this is surprising anymore, but I am genuinely tired of reading or hearing this tripe.
How come the cracker-worshipping trolls never show up in threads like these?
They'll show up in the threads where PZ laughs at their cracker, saying how horrible he is - but they never show up to defend the OTHER crazy aspects of their religion.
What I would like to know is, who pays for the goat?
This talk about priests reminds me of a song by Stephen Lynch.
Man, PZ, don't you know that anything that leads to teh secks is ebil? One position is allowed, only, and only if you are going to make the babies with it. OH!! And don't you go enjoying it either, that's just as ebil!!
As for the "gay agenda", I've yet to get any of my Christian "Friends" to pinpoint exactly what this is or means. Near as I can tell, it means:
***Sex with the same sex (which is not only ebil, but EVIL because it don't produce the babies)
***Infiltration of the sanctity of Marriage, since marriage is meant to produce the babies and ghey secks doesn't produce the babies; they want to ruin it.
***The Secks with yer childrens. Because they are having the secks that isn't producing the babies, they will take yer childrens and have the secks with them. But only if it won't produce the babies.
***Defiling anything that is considered "moral and just". Because the secks is dirty and ebil and only meant to produce the babies, and since the gheys can't produce the babies with their ebil secks, they are out to defile the morally just peoples of the world by giving them the ghey. Which is different than getting cooties, because the ghey turns you completely morally corrupt, whereas cooties is just an infection.
Umm, yeah. My head exploded.
Toni
@42 Sigmund
The power of christ compells him... To be an ass.
@45 scooter
Fr. stands for Father, honorific for a catholic priest.
There is so much good stuff in this article. No contradiction in these two statements:
"Fr. Davies also warns in his book against so-called New Age and occult practices, as well as trendy exercise and "spiritual healing" regimens derived from eastern religions."
and
"Fr. Davies was appointed exorcist of the Westminster Archdiocese in 1986 after a four month training period in Rome."
Also, he better be careful with that "heterosexual promiscuity" stuff. If people start believing that could be caused by a "contagious demonic factor", CDF would be marketed and endorsed by Bob Dole.
So he's saying that god doesn't want people to be self-reliant? I get it, god is the kind of sky-daddy that would break his children's legs so they can't go off to college.
Sex advice from the celibate, that should be so relevant. Don't seem to recall a homosexual explosion, or know any I'd wish to blow up, but it'd have to be magenta.
By which they undermine their own god-created-everything "argument" and still quite fail to account for how those alleged recruiters came to originate without a recruiter (or explain away the fact of homosexuality being natural in other animals too).
"Among the causes of homosexuality is a contagious demonic factor." Thats an interesting statement. Do you think he fears "catching" the gay because he is speaking from expirience? "I wasn't gay but my demonic pool boy rubbed himself on me and I caught it...and I liked it! Never again I tell you!" Just a thought. ;P
#61: You know, you might be right about that.
I should recommend a book for him: http://www.kobrascorner.com/opine/pattern-recognition.php
I wonder how many little boys he's infected with his demon...
In a way I feel kind of sorry for him. He's been manipulated by his faith to believe in a world driven mad by demons.
Anyone else spewing such idiocy about demons among us would be medicated and in therapy.
I wonder if the good frier (pun intended) is developing an antibiotic for teh gay 'disease'?
Ahem...
Kobra@ 6:
Obviously, the fireball from the homosexual explosion had all the colors of the rainbow.
It seems he is a qualified medical doctor, and also studied at Oxford.
When you are intelligent enough do to that, the excuses start running out.
#67:
Looks like you missed my #8 comment. :P
If one can believe that a priest, by saying the Words, can transform a cracker into what caused the Big Bang and life on earth, and that what caused this naturally considers homosexuality to be an abomination, it really can't be that difficult to believe that a priest, by doing the sign of the cross, sprinkling holy water, and saying the Litany of the Saints, can scare the enemy of what caused the Big Bang, and therefore cure homosexuality.
People should learn to respect these courageous priests, they have to go through a long and hard training to be capable of transforming crackers into God and scaring Demons, it's really not that simple.
Do people realise how difficult this training is, even sometimes so hard that vindictful Demons can push these courageous dedicated priests to have sex with children ?
Perhaps the nutter could be pressed into elaborating on what he imagines the other causes to be and, rather crucially, how he plans to discriminate between them so that he doesn't inflict unnecessary exorcisms (hint: all of them!) on perfectly natural homosexuals.
#69: I meant #9. Stupid typos.
I grew up in pentecostalism. Spiritual warfare is the umbrella term for this sort of stuff. I was exorcised (not very dramatic) and I was part of exorcisms with people rolling on the floor swearing with bad-actor-accents. There were (are) church services where people were handed paper bags at the start to throw up in (demons come out this way apparently :)).
When a fundamentalist's view of demons begins to crack, they are on a path out of their faith. Belief in demons is a core part of both the teachings of the biblical Jesus and Pauline theology. As a gay child growing up in this crap, I used demons to externalize my feelings and give open armed acceptance to homophobia.
When they say "the gay agenda" all they mean is "they're trying to make it unacceptable to hate and persecute gays."
Seriously, that's all they are complaining about... the items on what they say is the agenda all amount simply to "we can't be mean to gays anymore."
I really get a kick by the fact that they constantly use the phrase "forcing it down our throats." And what is being "forced down their throats?" Gays being able to do things other people get to do.
We're taking away their fun - we're taking away their recreational hate targets. I mean, what good is having a religion and being all created in a godlike image and chosen and shit, if you can't piss on the unchosen?
What's the point in creating a god to make yourself immortal and godlike and better, if you have nobody to be better THAN?
We're taking away their exceptionalism. We're forcing the big sweaty cock of averageness down their throats.
No: medical doctors are selected for rote memorisation (and a certain amount of egomania) not intelligence. Any intelligence a few of them may also have is incidental rather than any requirement or norm. And he is so old that he falls into the time when going to Oxford University was primarily about having the right connections, not intelligence at all (especially given his actual subject was Eng.Lit. - eg not science, maths or anything else even remotely close to requiring intelligence).
Did you read he only had FOUR MONTHS TRAINING!
4 Months and he's can be let loose on a gullible herd of Xtrians and then ractice this voodoo!
Still look on the brigh side - exorcism kills so it can be viewed as a kind of Dawrinism in action.
IIRC it was the wizarded Yogi Berra who said
"You no play da game, you no make da rules!"
Got to give the RCC credit for managing to hang onto vestiges of the Dark Ages in the 21st century.
They really need to drop the celibate clergy schtick. Because no one wants to be a life long virgin these days, they are having a hard time recruiting priests and nuns and the ones they get tend to be a bit strange mentally, not very smart and rigid medieval personalities that can find millennial old superstitions to be reasonable.
The result is well known both inside the church and without. A huge disconnect between the celibate old men and the general run of the members. The priests ramble on about the evils of birth control and tell the people they should have 10 kids. The average family size of US Catholics is 2+, the same as the noncatholics. In other words, no one is paying any attention anymore.
Anyone who actually tried to follow all the RCC rules would end up going insane. And if the RCC tossed out everyone who didn't, they wouldn't have any members left. "Don't ask, don't tell."
Hmmm - has the makings of a really good 'reality' TV show...
British TV is way ahead of you there...
Lets see if I get this right?
An Exorcist is making bold statements that demons are possessing people left and right.
I mean is there not some term for such actions where one claims something to be broken in effort to gain employment as one who repairs the afore mentioned something?
The demon causal theory of bad, terrible, and horrible things has gone out of fashion in much of xianity. The mainline protestants don't really buy into it much.
Segments of the RCC itself have been trying to downgrade it. They now maintain that most mental illness is non-demon caused, for example and have bought into the germ theory of disease.
They aren't the only one into demonology. The Mormons and fundies can demonize with the most backward of Catholics.
Stupid idea anyway. If demons are to blame for adverse activities and events, then where is free will? It isn't even supported that well by the bible.
#55 Here's the gay agenda. . .
http://www.bettybowers.com/homoagenda.html
You just can't tell anyone or we'll smother you with satin pillows.
Everyone repeat after me.
We're here, we're queer, and we don't like your end-tables!!!
Oh Man, don't diss the leeches Dahling, they be coool. They help reattach body parts.
Disgusting religious zealots, they not be cool. They hate our body parts.
We are homo of gay.
Your children will be fabulous.
Resistance is tacky.
I know the Catholic church is an expert on man-boy love but I am confused. I thought they were in favor of it.
The man's a physician! That's not sarcasm, it's in the article. So of course he had something to say about alt medicine:
"Beware of any claim to mediate beneficial energies (eg. reiki), any courses that promise the peace that Christ promises (eg. enneagrams), any alternative therapy with its roots in eastern religion (e.g. acupuncture)." Needless to say, overtly occult activities such as séances and witchcraft are "direct invitations to the Devil which he readily accepts."
Sure, not because of any actual scientific evidence proving those things not to work, but because the devil's gonna getcha!
Lifesite News: the World Nut Daily of Catholicism.
Carlie: when I read that, I was thinking more along the lines of Nemesis, from the Armageddon trilogy...
Forget about Teh Gay, I haven't had sex in quite some time, and now I'm worried that I'm going to turn into this guy.
"Really, for the young people in the church just starting to doubt its authority, proclamations like these are so often a tipping point, turning moderate religious people into moderate skeptics."
That's partly how it worked for me. I was already on the way out of the church by age 14 or 15 or so when the gospel at one particular mass actually had the "children must be subservient to parents in all things" and "women must be subservient to man in all things" bits. Now I went to a not-particularly crazy Catholic church, so it's entirely possible that in the following sermon, the priest tried to put that stuff in context somehow, but at the time, my thoughts were basically "Fuck this."
Perhaps I didn't have enough love in my heart. You know, that Bill fellow never returned to the "cracker in context" thread to give me good reasons to go to church. How disappointing.
"They'll show up in the threads where PZ laughs at their cracker, saying how horrible he is - but they never show up to defend the OTHER crazy aspects of their religion."
Oh, Rooke might show up eventually, this "evils of miniskirts" stuff is right up his alley. And with that disturbing image, I got to go to work.
The question "What year is it?" is irrelevant for those who do not learn with the passage of time.
Ooh, baby...bring your "contagious demonic factor" over here and possess me!
You know what would be wicked: an international "do something really gay" day. One day a year when boys should love boys and girls should love girls. I can see the poster now: A couple stereotypically straight looking men (or women) leaning toward each other, their puckered lips barely connecting while they look away cringingly. Supportive, yet icked out, they stand in front of a gaggle of stereotypically queer folk in full applause.
Any ideas for slogans?
Ahem. Read through the comments, and #2 wins.
" Posted by: Kristjan Wager | August 20, 2008 7:04 AM
I shouldn't be surprised by this sort of thing, but yet, I still am."
Not only are leeches (as several above have commented) useful in current medicine, so are maggots - they're better at cleaning some wounds than surgeons are.
Raven,
I'm not certain it's that much out of fashion:
-a 1999 Atlanta Journal-Constitution survey concluded that almost 50% of Americans believe people are sometimes inhabited by demons.
-Pope Benedict XVI s setting up exorcism squads to deal with what they view as rampant growth of demons' influence;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JFRqkHbuOo&NR=1
In as much that self-imposed sexual abstinence is about as unnatural a behavior as any other sex act, celibacy is amongst the most exquisite of sexual perversions (which might be why so few priests practice it).
Other items of wigsome wackiness from the original article:
And precisely how does one rule out "non-spiritual causes"?
What the fuck is a physician supposed to do to assist? The only useful thing I can think of is to prevent the exorcist from doing too much damage. But maybe the idea is like having a medic on hand during a torture session, to make sure the victim doesn't die or pass out before the interrogators are finished.
Davies also warns in his book against...trendy exercise...
trendy exercise?
No Tae Bo for Catholics?
Exorcise that exercise!
Negen @ 93
Here's more wisdom from that paragon of journalistic integrity, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution
read by David Cross
careful, this is dangerously funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ecVERmxa70
Ok... Let's see:
1. Absolutely NO sex when you are not married.
2. Homosexuality is WRONG!
Thus:
As an unmarried person, the people you aren't busy having sex with must be of the opposite gender...
Uhmmm... Bad command or filename?
After the first succubus, you never look back.
I think everyone is missing the point of Fr. Jeremy Davies' statements. Just read between the lines. It is a fact that the RCC authorities covered up the actions of their pedophile priests under the assumption the the appearance of righteousness is a greater good then tending to the victims. All of that activities (I will not call it sex.) outside of the realm marriage lead to many in church hierarchy to be demon processed.
Who is going to exorcise the exorcist?
A four month course explaining the details of how to cast out demons.
I'd love to see the curriculum.
I'd love to see it posted on the internet.
The trouble is that even an evolution-accommodating church like the RC is fundamentally creationistic.
"Evil" is due to agents, not to "material causes."
Then again, I wouldn't want to pretend that such a mindset is unique to religion, since our justice system is founded on essentially the same concept. The good thing about the latter is that fictions like "free will" tend to lead to the only practical course available to society--blame the perpetrator.
Religion encounters these things at a stage where dealing with real causes (and in the case of homosexuality, real effects)would be so much more useful.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
Well, it is all relative. I suppose a century ago it was more like 80%. 20% of the US population still believes the sun orbits the earth which tells one that at least 20% of the population will believe anything no matter how stupid it is.
Give the old codger some credit, he knows what he is talking about, being one of those demons.
One problem with the cat'licking clergy, they get so goddamn old (but no wiser).
I look forward to a demonstration of the efficacy of exorcism and a discussion of how they established the existence of demons and the mechanisms of demonic possession. I'm especially interested in how the Catholic Church determined that you could catch teh gay from coworkers and such. I wonder if child molestation spreads by demonic contagion too.
Look out, Look out, Yoga is the thin end of the demon wedge. The more flexible you are, the easier it is for them to fit in, I guess.
At least they pan some new-age crap too. Too bad they are just old-age crap.
"Just do it"
And if that fails, there's always the 100% successful traditional treatment: tie them to a stick and set them on fire.
Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it. After all, you don't hear Joan of Arc complaining do ya?
Really what can one expect form a bunch old goats still living in the dark ages and wearing pointy hats and dressing gowns
r.e. #84 "Resistance is tacky"
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Sooo funny, now I want a bumper sticker!
[Sarcasm ahead]The problem is not the exorcism, they have their usefulness with demons etc, but the problem is that he thinks that homosexuality is caused by deamons, while everybody knows that it is Gods will (tm) as he determines everything anyway.....[/Sarcasm ahead]
In the reality based community, when you've got a problem, you call an expert with some skills and training to deal with it.
Unless it's a political issue, and then you toe the ideological line and enact the same failed policies while expecting a different outcome.
No one can claim they live in a reality based community until they shed their political ideologies in addition to any religious ones.
More frightening news: He has a book about exorcism, but you can't order it because it is currently unavailable due to the HIGH DEMAND! I guess they do this in the UK?
Check it out for yourself. Here's the link:
http://www.cts-online.org.uk/acatalog/info_Ex27.html
(.)(.)
Posted by: Fernando Magyar
I agree that Catholics suck but...
No "but"s about it, if you're an altar boy...
Hmmmm, this is interesting. The catholic church could start a new business. How about preventative exorcisms? Sign up for a quarterly procedure that ensures a demon free life! Only $49.95/month which includes massage therapy afterwards and a free manicure/pedicure! Outstanding!
Raven,
my guess is that if people can so easily believe and be satisfied with an explanation such as 'before the big bang, there was God, and "he" doesn't require an explanation because "he" is eternal' and that this God doesn't like homosexuality and any form of liberal sexuality , then they'll easily accept a rationalization such as 'if there are homosexuals and people having sex for anything else than reproduction, it can't be God's intention, and therefore must be the work of the devil'.
That's most probably very close to the belief of most regularly practicing Christians, Catholics or not.
They may make an exception for this one. Billy Blanks serves up his brand of Martial Arts with a big steaming side of Jesus. In fact, the 'O' in 'Tae Bo' stands for "Obedient: be true to God's word and your body and you'll get everything you need".
@ John C. #84
coffee, meet keyboard. :)
I always thought that guy was creepy.
I think it would be interesting if he'd state his hypotheses quantitatively. If you have sex with three different people before you get married, do you get three different demons, or just one? Or do you acquire the same number of demons with every unsanctioned sex act, or just with every partner? And how about masturbation? Can you give yourself a demon you didn't already have? Do you get more demons for non-het sex, or the same number no matter with whom you have sex?
STD = Sexually Transmitted Demons!
They probably make an exception for Christoga, too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_t5jApEYJ0
You can have a yoga-filled body and a Christ-filled heart.
Janine Turner was a lot better as Maggie.
When catching teh gay, do these demons leave, or are they procreating? Are there NEW ones for each "victim" or does yours clone?
Of course, the hole in the god-versus-devil mythology is that if you postulate an omnipotent god, then anything that happens must by definition be what it wants to happen.
-jcr
"Promiscuity, as well as homosexuality and pornography, says 73 year-old Fr. Jeremy Davies, is a form of sexual perversion and can lead to demonic possession."
So maybe if McCain chooses famed exorcist (and Louisiana governor) Bobby Jindal as his vice-president, Bobby can exorcise American society.
It comes to me as no surprise
The Catholics favor exorcize--
It keeps them fit, and in good shape
For playing "dodge the charge of rape"
If you have sex with three different people before you get married, do you get three different demons, or just one?
How good were they? Better sex=more demons.
No, that particular religious nutter is against massages too:
http://www.secularism.org.uk/96863.html
PS I'd also like to know how he imagines he can objectively tell whether music is demonic (hint: none of it) or not - ideally with reference to specific demons and their known repertoire or back-catalogue.
Humm, I know of at least one partner from college that must have lots of angels.
PS I'd also like to know how he imagines he can objectively tell whether music is demonic (hint: none of it) or not
I beg to differ: Celine Dion and David Archuletta are truly demonic.
Easy - if it isn't in the christer rock section, it's Teh Debble
#53 - RickM - Who pays for the goat?
Never ask that question in Enumclaw, Washington.
From the seventh level.
Maybe PZ is referring to religious leeches? You know, the ones that suck your wallet dry!
I do believe they think Demons are responsible for their priests molesting children. That's why they protect them from prosecution. It was the demon's fault, so they did the heebie jeebie dance, got rid of it, and the priest is all shining and fresh again. They don't want the poor guy to go to jail when it wasn't his fault, doncha see? He's all better now. *rolls eyes* It is just another way they make sure not to take responsibility for anything. If you do something evil, just ask forgiveness, and you're all good again. You molest,kill etc...oh, it wasn't you, it was those evil demons. Give us some money and we'll cast them right outa you. Unless you're not a Catlick, then you should be tortured for all eternity.
I don't know about that, Blanks appears to be a heretic who denies the infallible authority of the Catlick Church.
"tie them to a stick and set them on fire"
Or, as they use to say, "Tie the faggots to some faggots and free them from their demons!"
Maybe that's why so many gays think of themselves as "flamers."
I should really send this to my aunt to see what she thinks. She's a staunch Catholic and a highly respected Registered Nurse and Nursing instructor at my alma mater. I wonder what she'd think of this?
In the mean time, I don't think I'm going to be too worried about being possessed or entering into packs with Satan b/c I'm not Catholic. What a ton of BS.
One question, is this guy related to Torquemada? The speaketh the same lingo.
Welcome back to civilization, where morals, tolerance and (f)actual knowledge stands as firm protectors against barbaric cults ... or not.
What is even crazier is this guy has a medical degree from oxford...wow....
Alex @ # 117
What? No "happy ending"?
The "happy ending" comes after you die.
Way more questions than answers here.
Are demons quantum? Do they differ in powers and specialize or all have the same integer value.
Do they get bored? A few thousand years of forcing people to have sex (and how hard is that job?) would get old.
Do they breed? Is the number fixed? How many are there? Seems like we are running out of a lot of stuff, oil, water, intelligent leaders and so on. Is there a demon crisis as well?
While it's true that leeches have their legitimate uses, look at all of the claimed uses from this supplier!
http://www.leeches.biz/
They claim usage against tinnitus on one of the pages - where exactly do you stick a leech for that?
I'm expecting "demonic removal" to be added to the list eventually. But given the priest's claims, that may require application of leeches at sites that no one is willing to try.
I read that and immediately thought of exorcisms with happy ending.
Thank you everyone,
True Bob & I will be here all week, and don't forget to tip your waitresses.
BTW, True Bob, IIRC, during the cracker debacker you had a comment with the phase "running smack into a wall of real", that I especially enjoyed. What was the exact post?
Tanks,
BF
Hey Saila Boy!
Only five dolla
I bless you long time.
[blockquote]Extreme secular humanism, "atheist scientism", is comparable to "rational satanism" and these are leading Europe into a dangerous state of apostasy[/blockquote]
That's a new oxymoron to add to my list - 'rational satanism'. How is that different from 'Irrational Satanism'? I need to know. Here's a toast to 'a dangerous state of apostasy'. No more priest-fodder.
Hey, take it to the pews!
My apologies, my short term memory isn't what it used to be. I'm not sure I even wrote that.
@ r-p #141:
No, he doesn't (at least assuming the wikipedia account is accurate). He has an Eng.Lit. degree from a mediaeval Oxford Hall (probably) from before the time it joined the official Oxford University Colleges (and I know of a more recent addition of an inferior institution to the Oxford ranks which gave someone else unearned apparent prestige in their degree).
Outwest (#51) spoke thusly:
Slight tangent:
I agree completely, but I've come to understand it as entertainment rather than information or news. It's a fact that the views of the vast majority of sane people simply aren't newsworthy these days. You have to have bold, radical ideas to have a chance of receiving press coverage - the more you alienate the majority, the more likely you'll get your 15 minutes of fame.
Even with regard to religion, I have faith (heh) that most people keep their lunacy to themselves, and don't parade it around as a badge of honor.
Even if I'm delusional, this faith keeps me sane...
Said in my best Barry White voice:
"Come here, baby. Let me give you a perversion injection."
"Contagious demonic factor" would make a great band name.
@ sef #151
"Fr. Davies' (an Oxford graduate who is also a qualified physician)" <---from the article, he is a doctor, oops the article made it sound like he got his med degree from oxford
That doesn't mean he qualified as a physician at Oxford. Reading comprehension: get some. Research skills, of at least minimal level, would help too. You've had enough pointers in the thread already. Use them.
My married love is a portal for evil spirits. OMG we got teh geigh, and it comes with superpowers!
What a sad way to mark the passing of
Leo Abse, the man who got rid of "The Ugly Law" (at least I think that's what it was called).
Fr Knucklehead is a qualified physician like Iraq is a qualified success.
Re: Leo Abse, See what happens when you promote teh gay agenda and liberalise divorce laws? Gawd smites you down!!!11!!one!
Erm, at the age of 91.
A great man, a politician who made changes against the odds, based on principles, not personal advantage.
#160, forgot to mention (possibly to the double-entendre-tastic delight of MAJeff?) that Abse managed to get rid of the law against male/male sex by the introduction of a Private Member's Bill.
@ SEF #156
wow, that was kind of dickish. There was more to my post, which obviuosly was cut off. Say that, yes, he did not get qualify as a physician at oxford specifically, but he still qualified.
Anyway, there is really no call to be rude, or does it make you feel better to talk down to people?
This is damned disappointing. Here we are, a cyber classroom full of inquiring minds, with wonderful questions, and not one demon free catlick priest shows up to give answers.
Maybe you should whip out your nail PZ. That usually gets their attention.
I'm surprised no one has posted here to chastize PZ for "persecuting" Catholics by making fun of this priest's ridiculous, medieval beliefs.
@True Bob
If I ever get that rock band together that I've talked about for the last 40 years, I think you just named it. "Next on stage, please welcome... Teh Debble!"
.
Yeah, the regular contributors are getting testy and the closest thing we have to a concern troll is Whateverman. Where are Fr. What's-his-name & Rooke when you need them?
On the Non Prophets podcast today one of them said he heard Pat Robertsons mother had a sex change operation.
That doesn't sound possible to me. Robertson is ancient looking, how could his mother still be alive?
I googled it and came up with a video my computer won't play. Maybe she got a demon.
Has anyone else heard about this?
Dear Pharyngula Forum,
I had that dream again last night. Yeah, that dream. There I was, having a drink in a quiet bar one minute, and the next I'm in a small room with a badge and gun, a plate of biscuits, Butt Paste, and James Woods. Well, you know the rest. Anyway, I'm worried.
My catholic friend says that it could be teh demonz trying to git me, and that I may need an exorcizm or some other magicks. What should I do?
MAJeffsaid, "Better sex=more demons."
Therefore, More demons = better sex. :-)
Man, I need more demons. WalMart, maybe?
Yes, but I truly do care...
Really...
@4
Unless you're Michael Jackson then it's Jesus Juice.
kjb
Man, I need more demons. WalMart, maybe?
Avoid those demons. The cheap Chinese prison-labor made ones are full of lead.
So that rolled up sock beside my night table is actually full of evil spirits?
If that's the case, I don't know why anyone would consult an exorcist when Tide® does just fine.
So, having sex is like receiving an injection of demon juice?
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
thick, creamy demon juice
Homosexuality exploded, did it? What color was the fireball?
it was rainbow colored of course.
Man, I'm not even gay and I know the "Homosexual Agenda (TM)" is a load of shit.
Do people actually think the gays want anything besides equal rights?
most gay subgroups don't even LIKE each other, how can there be any sort of agenda.
Besides, if there were - I have yet to recieve the memo.
When catching teh gay, teh Gay Demon recruits the young demons in teh hetero, making them Gay demons.
But wasn't the rainbow god's promise not to wipe out the planet again? Oh I get. So the debil hijacked god's pretty, multi-colored, sky-magics to use for sexy sexalicous sexcapades for people to make life bad again. Got it. Makes perfect sense.
"The thin end of the wedge (soft drugs, yoga for relaxation, horoscopes just for fun and so on) is more dangerous than the thick end because it is more deceptive - an evil spirit tries to make his entry as unobtrusively as possible."
Nice that they still don't want you to know where or how they dreamed up their version of a "Sun/Son God" who was born on the 25th of December. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeZB2EsPqGE
MAJeff what does having a demon inhabiting you (?) feel like? Is it heavy? Does it make you walk funny? Do you only have one or are you stuffed full of them?
Pretty please, do tell!
Father Davies believes that all behavior that he defines as evil or Godless is caused by actual demons. Not one catholic apologist has stood up for Fr. Davies on this thread, yet Davies' belief in what has to be ubiquitous demonic possession is no more ridiculous than believing a consecrated wafer becomes the actual flesh of Christ.
Isn't it funny how people pick and choose what to be skeptical about without any rhyme or reason?
You might want to use a little Febreeze™ while you're at it. It reminds me of an old Larry "Bud" Mellman quote, "...and everywhere, the smell of men enjoying themselvers!" Ewww.
MAJeff what does having a demon inhabiting you (?) feel like?
giddy.
Giddy.
Ahha! Just as I suspected, you're a closeted twirler.
Ummm, twirler?
Wus' Dat?
Of course, the hole in the god-versus-devil mythology is that if you postulate an omnipotent god, then anything that happens must by definition be what it wants to happen.
if there originally existed alone, and now there is a devil and demons = GOD created those demons.
If said demons are causing people to do bad things, then it is GOD'S WILL(tm) that those people do bad things.
HOW DARE THE RCC GO AGAINST GOD LIKE THAT!?!?!?!?!
But wasn't the rainbow god's promise not to wipe out the planet again? Oh I get. So the debil hijacked god's pretty, multi-colored, sky-magics to use for sexy sexalicous sexcapades for people to make life bad again. Got it. Makes perfect sense.
noooo.
the story with the rainbow had a boat
boats have sailors
sailors
sailors - yeah,
sailors and rainbows
Sailors, sailorette, and livestock too. What a show!
Twirling is what kids do when they become so overwhelmed with giddiness that they spin in circles laughing or singing until they become dizzy. You should try it, it's fun! ;)
Twirling is what kids do when they become so overwhelmed with giddiness that they spin in circles laughing or singing until they become dizzy
I always associated that with Shelties.
Fr. Davies said, "Among the causes of homosexuality is a contagious demonic factor."
Somehow the Spanish Inquisition sketch leaps to mind..
And Sufis.
Cardinal Ximinez: There are three causes of homosexuality; lack of faith, mental illness and recruitment!
Cardinal Fang: And frequenting gay bars.
Cardinal Ximinez: There are four causes of homosexuality; lack of faith, mental illness, recruitment, and frequenting gay bars!
Cardinal Fang: And a contagious demonic factor.
Cardinal Ximinez: There are five....
Cardinal Ximinez: Among the causes of homosexuality are a lack of faith, mental illness, recruitment, frequenting gay bars, and a contagious demonic factor!
Cardinal Fang: And wearing silly hats.
And liking the c0ck
No, the rainbow is gawds 2nd covenant with man.
Gawd set his bow in the sky as a token of his pledge never to destroy the world with a flood AGAIN.
Sheesh, what a blasphemous bunch of godless heathens you all are.
Huh. Huh huh huh. Hee ha heh ho.
That sounds like a pretty damn good weekend to me.
Damn,
I hate it when I forget to preview.
No, the rainbow is gawds 2nd covenant with man.
Gawd set his bow in the sky as a token of his pledge never to destroy the world with a flood AGAIN.
Sheesh, what a blasphemous bunch of godless heathens you all are.
are you sure it wasn't the first disco light show????
And Deadheads.
the explosion of homosexuality
Huh. Huh huh huh. Hee ha heh ho.
That sounds like a pretty damn good weekend to me.
especially when homosexuality explodes all over your face
sorry for all the posting, i'm bored at work
Deadheads...yep, topless twirling.
At #21 Kobra wrote:
Man, I'm not even gay and I know the "Homosexual Agenda (TM)" is a load of shit.
Not true! I know several homosexuals who have, or at least once had, quite detailed agendas, but several have now switched to PDAs.
Not true! I know several homosexuals who have, or at least once had, quite detailed agendas, but several have now switched to PDAs.
a circuit party drug schedule is NOT an agenda
Yep, blotter acid 'll do that to ya. Do you have something you want to share with us, Patricia?
Or Madonna's nipples twirling, twirling, twirling.....
I must be totally infested with demons as I'm a lesbian AND I get regular massages and do the evil exercise to demonic music, too.
I'm surprised that my head isn't twirling, twirling and that I'm not spewing pea soup.
Render unto Caesar: Serving the Nation by Living our Catholic Beliefs in Political Life by Charles J. Chaput
I heard Charles J. Chaput, who is the author of the above book and the Archbishop of Denver, on Hugh Hewitt (I occasionally listen to right wingers when I feel like swearing) yesterday. He talked about "the cult of secularism." *jaw drops* Fr. Davies isn't the only kook out there.
Akshelby:
as a lesbian, what are your thoughts on explosive homosexualty and demon juice injections.
as a gay man, I'm all for them
Fr. Davies' opinions about teh secks reminded me of the immoral immortal words of Butch Hancock:
"Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things. One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, dirty thing on the face of the earth and you should save it for someone you love."
When I was a child I went to a southern baptist church. This congregation believed ALL sex was a sin - even between husband and wife. And even at the tender age of 9, I had to wonder why they all had so many kids if sex was a sin.
Sui Generis, have you ever been to a Dead show where there wasn't topless twirling? Why that's down right un-Amerikan!
Ahhh... the well tuned thinking of the religious mind. Just this past week in Saskatchewan a mother and five little girls were drowned following an automobile accident on the way back from a birthday party. Bishop Albert Thevenot spoke up and prayed for God use the incident to help them (the parents and community) to "find peace and to strengthen their faith."
If I felt there was a "supreme" causative agent in these events, I'd look at s/h/it (she, he or it) and his agents as an enemy rather than a comfort.
But that's just me.
Maybe they'll teach my brother about demons in his "Christian Sex" class next year.
All that coming from a gruesome elderly virgin. He should tend to the multitude of problems in his own little fraternity.
QUESTION to Everyone!!!!
If (as the post stated), 'promiscuity' is the base for all problems, WHY ARE THE MOST SECULAR NATIONS (PEOPLE) ON THE PLANET the most ADVANCED and have a HIGH degree of "promiscuity", BUT LESS degree of STD and HIV/AIDS as less advance countries such as United States and other highly religious nations?
A bit of a contradiction? Are all religious people completely ignorant of world statistics?
At #188 Patricia said:
Twirling is what kids do when they become so overwhelmed with giddiness that they spin in circles laughing or singing until they become dizzy.
I thought twirling is what I saw the tranny majorettes doing in the recent local Gay Pride parade. But, now that you mention it, they did seem quite giddy.
#197
One Man gathers what another man spills
Andres Diplotti wrote:
That Catch-22... that's some catch!
Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right.
Fr. Davies also said, "The thin end of the wedge (soft drugs, yoga for relaxation, horoscopes just for fun and so on) is more dangerous than the thick..."
Personally, I like the thick end of the wedge.
Thanks to John @ 84, that was Molly-worthy.
One thing I have not seen much discussion on is how people manage to maintain the pretext of monotheism. It seems that the emphasis on a struggle between good / evil, god / devil, etc. shows a pretty strong tendency to elevate two entities into the category usually reserved for god.
Sure they paint the devil and hell as horribly as they can, but that only seems to legitimize it as an equal, if less desirable, alternative.
So, what is the deal? Are most religious people more accurately described as bi-theist (or would it be di-theist, definitely not duo-theist) as opposed to monotheist?
But wait... wasn't every sperm sacred?
So you gay guys have sacred and possessed magic sperm!! Damn, you boys are so lucky.
Well his lot started it when the Holy Spirit(TM), ahem, 'covered' Mary and cuckolded Joseph.
Well, thats it! I'm gonna pitch a hissy, and stomp around mad. Every time I get giddy and twirl I never get a demon. That's just NOT fair.
Mmm...so if teh gay is evil as it is non baby producing and is bad because the men's love the men and the ladies love the ladies. Then is it half as wrong if you have sex with a tranny? I mean what does the church have to say on that!
theopetey@ 205
Believe me, I enjoy explosive homosexuality to the max! The more demons involved in my sex, the better it gets. I often go and brush up against nuns just to try and get more demons in me. They carry a lot of demons!
Sorry for the delayed response, I had to work for awhile.
so, if having sex without producing a child is evil, and you marry somone you KNOW to be infertile, is that MORE or LESS evil than being gay?
The sad thing is, I really did used to believe my homosexuality was caused by demons and did a lot of praying and eating of christ crackers to try to rid myself of them. Such a wasted, wasted span of time when I could have been enjoying lots of hot explosive demonic lesbian sex.
Look, everybody knows that there is only one God, and his Son...
No make that two gods, God, and his Son, and the...
No make that three gods, God, and his Son, and the Holy Spirit(TM), and...
No make that four gods, God, and his Son, and the Holy Spirit(TM), and the Virgin Mary, and...
No make that five gods, God and his Son, and the Holy Spirit(TM), and the Virgin Mary, and the Devil and...
Do Saints count?
Sod it, count the holy legs and divide by two.
Strategically so. The more religious they are, the more they have to contrive to remain ignorant whenever they inadvertently encounter knowledge of reality.
Grendels Dad #218
It certainly appears that Satan is at least a demigod. Certainly God doesn't seem to be able to do much about him. Fr. Davies had to go to school for four full months to learn out to cast out lesser demons.
But then Christians aren't really monotheistic. Their three-in-one god is a weak attempt to shoehorn a supreme triumvirate, à la Hinduism, into what was originally the Jewish monotheistic god. Then Catholics have Mary, who's pretty much a goddess, and a proliferation of saints and angels of various types.
The closer we look at Christianity, the more ridiculous and contradictory it looks.
Wait a minute. Demons do exist. At least in Chick tracts:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0004/0004_01.asp
Somehow I read that as
All that coming, from a gruesome elderly virgin.
Having caught the Dead in Maine, Florida, Chula Vista, Seattle, and many places in between, it was my experience that twirling of the female topless variety was far more common at outdoor shows in the SF Bay area than elsewhere.
It's long been a dream of mine to write a novel in which all of the dialogue is Grateful Dead lyrics. Sometimes I toy with the idea of having other characters speaking only in Dylan or Steely Dan lyrics too.
230 comments and no Catholic outrage/apologia? Are they all busy today or something? Did they come up with some new holy days of obligation since I bailed?
How come we're not yet talking about the latest Bigfoot fraud attempt?
MikeM, I will not rest until I find Chupacabra dining on a Sasquatch body. Next to a flying saucer piloted by Elvis and carrying JFK and Abe Lincoln.
Hey Scooter, How many topless women twirlers did you notice at John Kay (Steppin Wolf) shows?
And bosons!
Coincidence? I think not. Who's in tune with the cosmos now, theists?
Just like Woodstock, if you can remember it - you weren't there.
Danio @ 216
We are everywhere
BIg Foot Fraud? Non-story. Here's what we should be discussing:
Many think God's (magical) intervention can revive the dying dead.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080819/ap_on_he_me/med_god_vs_doctors;_ylt…
Steppenwolf was more my fashion statement, black leather, Doc Martins and stinking of gasoline, most of the titties were tattooed, and barely covered.
I lived in the Bay Area for 15 years and lost count of all the Dead shows, but those hippy chicks really had a wet spot for bikers.
However, none of this prepared me for the debauchery and mayhem of a Dr John show in New Orleans.
Those people are fucking CRAZY, I felt like a boy scout, all I had to keep up with that crowd was the silly garter belt on my Boy Scout socks, it was a real garter belt crowd, holy shit, even the demons ran away screaming.
After that, porn movies seem pretty tame.
Isn't it almost time for the Down Under crew to log on?
speaking of old rockers, I have Steely Dan tickets for tonight
woooohooooo, caught them a few years back and they were cookin. I could stand to dance off a few pounds
Woodstock, finally I can say this - I was too young to go to Woodstock. *GRIN*
Ragutis, the catlicks are afraid to get on this thread, they'll get infected by MAJeff's big naughty demon and turn all gay and squidgy. You can tell when he's really possessed, he goes 'blah blah blah' it terrifies all bed wetting sissies. ;)
And why the commandment "Do not have any other gods before me?"
I guess, for Hebrews, this meant don't worship those other people's gods, but for Christians, it's another reason to squeeze three gods into one. (Why is it thatI alway think of three-in-one oil when I think of the triune god?)
#243
I was living in Philly at the time, 14 years old. The two hippy guys up the street bought tickets to Woodstock, and asked me if I wanted to go, they had extras.
I didn't go because it was the same weekend as the yearly basketball game we played with the Black guys from the adjacent neighborhood.
Pretty bright kid, wasn't I?
I did catch Watkins Glen, though.
I'll post a Steely Dan review tomorrow for Sven.
Aha! So this is the night of the expanding man!
Thanks, man. Heard Becker's new solo record?
Nice one, D!
Damn. No wonder they didn't show up. We had decoys in place but we didn't use the Religio-Freeper call. ahem "It'sjustafrackin'cracker...it'sjustafrackin'cracker...."
(cricket... cricket...cricket....)
Don't worry, they'll come.
"It'sjustafrackin'cracker...it'sjustafrackin'cracker...."
Hmmm, maybe not.
It's MAJeffs fault.
He's sitting over there in the corner with a sly smirk on his giddy face, playing with his demon.
Pure spite, that. He's just showing off.
Sven
Thanks, man. Heard Becker's new solo record?
I haven't, but I hear it's great and that they aren't playing anything from it.
WTF???
But the set lists I've seen are pretty good. Shit last time I saw them they were so hot they made Peg sound good, great players.
gotta go start workin on a buzz.
No
I'm through with Buzz.
No I'm not. What am I thinking?
Do it Again ?
yup
I can't believe no crazy Catholic apologists have shown up here to defend the demon-besotted Father. On the other hand, I sort of can, because hey, that's coming from within the Catholic Church, and can't be construed as "some fucking atheist doing something for no reason," if you're sanity- and context-impaired...
Speaking of context, getting a degree in English literature was the best training I could have had for writing a book on history. Too many historians are afraid of primary sources. So SEF, you can take your condescending remarks about lack of intelligence, insert them vertically where the pedophile priest pokes, and light them so that they explode homosexually...
Do gay demons come with their own poppers?
MAJeff said: Avoid those demons. The cheap Chinese prison-labor made ones are full of lead.
Yeah. Demons. Red paint. I should have guessed.
Ah, well. Back to Target.
I can't believe no crazy Catholic apologists have shown up here to defend the demon-besotted Father.
If you hum it, maybe I can fake it.
Let's see...
Um, Having the gay makes baby Jesus cry. And stuff. The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Barry. No, Steve! Steve. Yeah, that's it.
Um... oh, yeah! FOLLOW THE GOURD! No, wait, FOLLOW THE SHOE! I like cheese! There's no place like home! There was no Horrendous Space Kablooey. There was only God and The Word. You dig, Jackson?
Amen.
How's that?
Ah, but is all that lead in their pencil?
That would be a useful demon. It could kick start your bike for you when you were too drunk to do it yourself.
It's MAJeffs fault.
He's sitting over there in the corner with a sly smirk on his giddy face, playing with his demon.
Pure spite, that. He's just showing off.
I wish I were that glamorous. I'm just sitting here reading some sexual history of Britain in the post-War years. Not nearly as fun. Interesting. Useful for my dissertation. But not giddy.
Does Fr. Davies make an appearance? He's the right age to be chasing altar boys post-war and he is British.
That's probably more interesting than what I'm working on. Authentic folk customs as adapted and used today. I'm on my third re-write for the meanest old bastard on the planet. We're at logger heads over it because there aren't any in American that haven't been run through the church. *sigh*
If your sexual history in Britain includes Edward & Wallis it could be quite interesting - a demon or two there! *wink, wink*
OK, I'll have a go:
See, imagine that you are in a room with a corpse, three cats, and a stick of dynamite. Because one of the cats is secretly a demon, you take the dynamite and insert it into the corpse's fundament, being sure to take pictures and post them on the intertoobz. In the ensuing explosion, the demon converts you to teh gay, wherupon you start molesting...
No, wait. Let me try again.
A family brings their ailing grandma to the doctor. He has teh gay, so he aborts her instead of providing care. He later digs up her grace and builds a cage with her bones..
No, I give up. I just can't get that crazy Catlicking analogy thing right.
I thought it bad enough when it was Wallis & Gromit.
*I know, I know. It's Wallace.
Oh FFS. "grace" in 259 should be "grave".
Sorry, Warren. Jester of Typos?
Holy shit, Trish, so those itchy things in my bum which fit your description to a T are DEMONS!
Why the hell did they tell me they are hemorrhoids??
Wouldn't have needed an operation, just an exorcist (of the cat'licking variety)??
Sometimes wisdom comes with age; sometimes age travels alone.
=============================
And as for as promiscuity: I haven't had sex in so long, I don't remember who gets tied up.
Here, you all want a troll? This is straight (no demons!) from the Catholic Encyclopedia
Eh, I'm off to go fuck some demons now.
You Khan, it's always you.
Me lacing is entirely voluntary.
Shonny, calling the Strumpet Trish, or Tish will get you extra grog & swill. *wink*
No, it's a demon if you feel giddy, not a hemoroid - I sell teasel herbs for that. See, go to a real doctor & they just haul off and operate. Scientific bastards!
I always associated the twirling with the Kodos/Clinton speech "We must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."
Linking to that Chick tract was SAIDISM. I seen many Chick tracts, but that has GOT to be the worst to date
Akshelby - See, you folks have all the fun. I've never got to fuck a demon, just a GOB*. I did read about a guy up in Enumclaw that died when he was fucked by a stallion - is that close? ;)
*GOB = Grouchy Old Bastard, husband.
Hey, I take exception to the assumption that being 73 means one is "wizened up" and demented. I think the "wizenedness" lies in his demented mind and was there from his childhood.
Akshelby - What!? They have all of that catlick stuff on the internet?
Oh crap, I'm doing it wrong again. I spend money on BOOKS or pay taxes to my county library for BOOKS on this tripe.
Adams transgression my talking Ass, every true christian knows it was EVE.
Cath - Oh you're kidding, Clinton mentioned twirling with a straight face?
Right, was that before or after the cigar?
Inquiring minds want to know!
I recently found another "article" that reads very similarly to the one PZ linked to:
http://hamptonroads.com/2008/08/warning-condom%E2%80%99s-can-not-protec…
(Warning: Extreme insanity)
It's time for this ol' sinner to buzzcock off to beddy bye. What a disappointing thread, not one catlick showed up to do battle with demons.
And now you lucky heathen pervs are heading out to molest and abuse the poor catlicks demons. Giddy, that's what you all are.
Good night sweethearts!
Wait . . . Teh gay is contagious ?
Perhaps that explains why I keep feeling compelled to redecorate ?
But seriously folks.
you might become possessed by demons if you enjoy sex too much ? The religious obsession with sex is a telling commentary on their desire to control.
The religious obsession with sex is a telling commentary on their desire to control.
Huh? It makes perfect sense. Back when religions were being invented, the common folks basically didn't have anything other than food and sex to use as control levers.
"*GOB = Grouchy Old Bastard, husband."
No, George Oscar Bluth, Jr. COME ON!
Patricia at #266:
Having actually seen teasel--it's a common weed here--I just want you to know that the mere association between that and hemorrhoids has made me pucker up clear to my navel from both ends.
Would that be a sort of psychohomeopathic effect? 'Cause: Ow.
@Patricia
Yeah, they have that catlicking stuff on the intertubes. It's freaky all the shit they have out there.
Unfortunately, my demon had a sick kid and was not up to fucking, so I watched a vampire movie and drank some good scotch and had some cheese with consecrated crackers. Now it's off to bed with me.
//He also said that Satan is responsible for having blinded most secular humanists to the "dehumanising effects of contraception and abortion and IVF, of homosexual 'marriages', of human cloning and the vivisection of human embryos in scientific research//
I would sacrifice a large amount of money,just to know if this guy actually believes the stuff he says,because that would make him clinically insane,or if he just mumbles these things to follow some catholic tradition and play his role as tough exorcizing "wizened priest".
I really would like to know !
Won't somebody, please, think of the leeches???!!!
Thanks Mr Randolph, for sticking up for our li'l annelid buddies.
As an amusing side note, here's a quick little video of Billy Blanks getting knocked the %$#%# out by a guy I know:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/124878/billy_blanks_tae_bo_fight/
Eh, no, they cover up: present tense. Nothing has changed.
True Bob @ 259. I just laughed myself into hiccups.
ben, you didn't see the demon lurking behind poor Mr Banks? Me neither, he got clocked but good!
No, seriously, Peter Mc.
Suppose it were a milkman, and he is invited in for coffee by Mrs Hottytotty. He goes in, and is taken over by a coffee demon, and has sex with Mrs H., but then has sex with her cat, then her parakeet, then her ficus plant, then Mr H. Teh Promiscuous Gay demon named Priapism has him in its grip (so to speak), so he goes to confession, where his long serving priest asks to see the offending implement, whereupon the demon procreates into the priests mouth. See? Teh GAY DEMONS!!11!eleven!! iT'S ALL THEIR FAULT
negentropyeater (#118):
Off topic, I know, but just because theists claim that God is eternal doesn't mean that he doesn't stand in need of an explanation. It is still legitimate to ask of them "Why is there an eternal being?"
If something is eternal, then its coming into existence obviously doesn't require an explanation, because it never has to come into existence in the first place. But if such a thing exists, this is still a logically contingent fact, since it is logically possible that it might not have existed at all. In which case, it is entirely appropriate to demand an explanation as to why one state of affairs obtains rather than the other.
So the "God is eternal" line doesn't let them off the explanatory hook.
You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach.
--Theodoric of York. aka Steve Martin.
Ahhhhh. My people. You should hit a Funky Meters / Galactic show at tipatinias 4 am at Jazz fest...
Stupid bad blockquoting dummy....
I'll take you up on it if your couch is still unclaimed. I haven't been there since Katrina. Now, everybody I know from NO lives here. I did a great interview with Harry Shearer about the levees, check it out.
http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner115.mp3
#278 - Ron Sullivan - Extra grog & swill for you sir! That teasel has about the same effect on all rational minds, when you see it.
But, made into a salve or other such balm it's an ages old folk remedy.
It is one of mother natures finest jokes! ;)
Thanks for the grog, and that's "madam" if you please.
It's a damned noxious weed, but I do like taking its picture.
It's a damned noxious weed, but I do like taking its picture.
I recall reading it used to used for carding wool?
A couple stereotypically straight looking men (or women) leaning toward each other, their puckered lips barely connecting while they look away cringingly. Supportive, yet icked out
Icked out? I've done that without being icked. As a straight it's really, really funny to screw with an onlooking homophobe's mind.
raven @78
True.
I'm still, at least officially, a Catholic, but according to doctrine, I'm going straight to hell. There are many things that I've done that are against the rules that I'm just not sorry about. If I'm not sorry, I can't confess them, so I can't be forgiven. I just can't buy all of the crap they expect me to believe anymore. If I actually voiced my opinions I'd deserve excommunication.
In other words, I'm a pretty typical Catholic. If they had to kick us all out, there wouldn't be anyone left.
You sound like my Christian friends who've concluded that excommunicating themselves is the only reasonable course of action. I guess that goes for me, too. Why let oneself be counted among the swollen ranks of those who ostensibly believe what one does not?
I'm not ready to let it go yet. I've had a lifetime of investment, and I don't know what it would do to my family (spouse and kids) to come out. I have a lot to work out for myself before I'm ready to face that.
withheld, that sounds a lot like my wife. She doesn't agree with a lot of the dogma, and she doesn't want to examine much of the miracle stuff in detail (I think she knows where that leads to). But she sure is hooked on that tradition and ceremony aspect of it all.
Good luck setting yourself free.
Best of luck to you, withheld. I've watched members of my family struggle with this. Hanging out here might help speed the process along. :)
I was kinda hooked on the tradition (still am, in a way) but never on the ceremony. (Yawn.) Emotionally, I mourn the loss of my belief in (for example, and principally) the magic of Christmas, but it's out of my hands - and intellectually I'm okay with my disbelief. It's liberating. I don't claim full atheism, though, because theistic thoughts flit through my head, unbidden, regardless of what I think (or think I believe). I chalk it up to residual indoctrination.
Fortunately, my brothers and my dad think pretty much the way I do. They're all somewhere in the deist/agnostic/atheist realm. The same goes for many of my friends. "Coming out" isn't much of an issue for me, though I'm not chomping at the bit to profess to my grandmother... She's a woman of some faith, but seems to have dispensed with going to church. Maybe because it got old after 90 years, or maybe because she's so hard of hearing that it's pointless to be there.
Actually, it's the ceremony and pageantry of it that make me want to hurl. The dogma is what it is. You believe it or you don't. Some of it is just plain weird (see above story). It's the costuming and staging of the Sunday morning production that get me. The priest stands at the front in his special robes while a building full of people, half of whom are clearly not buying it, recite the same words they've said every week of their lives. ugh.
thepetey @224:
And, if you marry someone you assume to be fertile, and have sex with the firm intention of producing a child, but that person is actually infertile, is the sex evil ab initio? Or is teh evil only added after you determine that s/he is infertile? And when, for evil-determining purposes, can you infer that s/he is infertile? After all, there's that bit in the bible with Abraham and Sarah, where the evidence suggested that she was barren, until god made it all better. Would it not be evil to (for the purpose of avoiding having additional evil sex) put said possibly infertile spouse aside and thereby show lack of faith that god might intend to make it all better for you, too? Would that be more or less evil than continuing to evilly have non-procreative sex in the hope that god will make it all better?
So many questions.....
Khan asks, re: teasel: I recall reading it used to used for carding wool?
Yeah, or for "fulling": raising (teasing up) the nap on fabrics like woven wool. Which is what a fuller does, or did.
There are native critters--buckeye butterflies, e.g., which I have a photo of in that set somewhere, and finches--that use the plant, but in general we'd be better off without it in the wild here. I speak as a Californian; invasive exotics are a big nasty deal here. Many of them are here because Europeans brought them along for their use.
Speaking of kooks, how can one explain the fact that the article was merely a report about a book that the priest wrote. (probably he wrote it from a priest's perpective - WOW!) No where did the reporter state that the priest was asked to explain perversions and STD's.
So how can you explain the twisting of the facts in the post to make it SEEM as though a priest was asked this?
Ron Sullivan (madame) *grin*... Yep, that's the teasel all right. Nice picture. If you dry those you can card wool with them. A fun dirty trick is to sneak one into the sleeping bags of your fellow campers.
Wow Dan. That's dumb. He believes sex outside of marriage allows demons to enter your body. That's a whole lot of stupid. And that's the point.
Actually that IS NOT what the priest is saying. For the priest 'sin' is real, and he is stating that if one engages in a life of 'sin' - then it is POSSIBLE that possession may occur. See, for the priest demons are real.
No where does the priest say that 'sinning' will automatically result in possession. That is your misunderstanding of his point.
Oh, and Steve, what is REALLY dumb to me is that a science professor is making mocking posts concerning areas of believes that he DOESN'T share and so wouldn't even understand what he is making fun of. To me this is like an artist trying to tell NASA how to get to the moon.
Why not let the old priest have and discuss the beliefs that he has held for a lifetime without making fun of him? Why is deriding others for not sharing ones beliefs okay?
Why not really try to educate rather than 'bloviate?' (I watch Bill O'Reilly)
Figures you watch O'Reilly.
Try this. It's fucking stupid to believe in demons or possessions. Demons don't exist and possessions don't happen.
Hope you learned something.
But I thought Elvis was in everybody (well except Michael J. Fox), does he kick the demons out then? Or does that make Elvis a demon?
Dan said: "Why is deriding others for not sharing ones beliefs okay?"
Why is it okay for Catholics, and other religious types, to call homosexuals intrinsically evil? If Catholics kept their beliefs to themselves instead of trying to legislate their morality on the rest of us, then the world would be a heck of a lot better place. You all set yourselves up for derision when you try to restrict others freedom and rights.
Because most are hypocritical liars like O'Reilly.
Welcome to the 14th Century
Did anyone else notice the hypocrisy of this statement:
coming from a guy who supposedly exorcises demons from others on a regular basis? (the quote comes from the original document) Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black!
Steve_C rather than angrily cursing in your posts - why not try calmly answering my questions: "Why not let the old priest have and discuss the beliefs that he has held for a lifetime without making fun of him? Why is deriding others for not sharing ones beliefs okay?"
Dan says, "Why is deriding others for not sharing ones beliefs okay?"
Okay, Dan, let's make this simple. If you have an STD, do you want to get it cured by either seeing a doctor or seeing a priest?
I'm not angry. I'm colorful. It's fun and important to make fun of superstition. I make fun of people who believe in all sorts of goofy stuff.
I'm not making fun of the priest because he's not an atheist. I'm making fun of him because he's an adult and he believes in complete fantasy.
He can believe in whatever backward dark ages shit he wants. And then I get to laugh at him. It's good fun.
What goofy stuff do you believe in Dan?
Perhaps Dan still believes the earth is flat.
Or crackers are transmorgified.
We're 'making fun' of him, not because his beliefs are ridiculous, but because his ridiculous beliefs are, as Steven Weinberg put it, an insult to human dignity.
If his belief was that knitting was a relaxing hobby and that everyone should try it it'd be different. His beliefs have lifestyle implications far beyond how the person adhering to them behaves.
Because he shares those beliefs with millions of people, and those people make decisions based on those beliefs - and, subsequently, those decisions lead to misery, suffering and death for countless other millions thanks to church-supported policies such as the denial of contraception or life-saving abortions - as well as persecution of homosexuals and unbelievers.
In this case, of course, belief in demons might mean a person choosing prayer over antipsychotic medicine - a recipe for disaster if there ever was one.
That he's a doddering old man doesn't stop him being deluded, and the delusions that he supports being dangerous.
Venger, Elvis needs boats.
And possibly a fatal one, either for the person refusing medication or for someone else.
This priest was trained for four months to be an exorcist. It takes years to become a fully qualified psychiatrist. I cannot help think there is a reason for that.
How do we know Fr. Davies isn't possessed of demon(s) and in need of an exorcism? I think he has a demon or two. We need to summon Dogbert to banish the demons of stupidity.
Because he shares those beliefs with millions of people, and those people make decisions based on those beliefs - and, subsequently, those decisions lead to misery, suffering and death for countless other millions thanks to church-supported policies such as the denial of contraception or life-saving abortions - as well as persecution of homosexuals and unbelievers.
Come on. The problem is obviously the existence of gay people, and criticizing anti-gay bigots is unfair.
"Why not let the old priest have and discuss the beliefs that he has held for a lifetime without making fun of him? Why is deriding others for not sharing ones beliefs okay?"
Because his beliefs are bloody stupid, you big diaper baby. I can't believe you watch O'Reilly and then snipe at us for being impolite. At least we're not cutting Father Davies' mic.
Well, I'm fortunate that my hobby of choice is theatre. No gay people there!
I'm not mad. I'm colorful. Now that is very funny! Swearing, according to Stephen Fry is the sign of a LARGE vocabulary.
Does anyone know what happens to your demon when you get to hell? If it leaves you, will you stop being gay?
Demons are cool. I want one. Of course Dan is stomping around the comments demanding civil discourse, and then acting like mocking the kooky priest isn't civil.
I want to "educate" Dan. But I doubt he'll admit his superstitions or ignorance in order to be reeducated.
The evidence is clear: A demon just made Tyson Homosexual drop the baton.
And yet they're still famously incompetent. Eg that test of psychiatry (involving sane people hired to present themselves after not washing for ages) which all the psychiatrists failed - repeatedly. Also those supposedly well-qualified psychobabble people are daft enough to pay attention to that delusional exorcist.
This demon thang jest ain't fair. Mary Magdalene had seven demons, MAJeff has a demon, and PZ has two - snot & ick. By the look of ol Ratzi, he has a wardrobe demon.
At #327, Wowbagger wrote: Well, I'm fortunate that my hobby of choice is theatre. No gay people there!
I work part-time for a well-regarded regional theater company. And, my experience is similar to yours--no gay people involved there.
All those people that you think are gay are just damn good actors, even those in administrative rolls. Stagehands, ticket sellers, ushers too. All perfectly straight. It's the magic of the theater!
At #333 (wow, I'm 1/2 way to 666, surely that must mean something significant!) I wrote:
All those people that you think are gay are just damn good actors, even those in administrative rolls.
I meant roles, not rolls. But, you know, "rolls" kinds fits too--IYKWIM. [wink, wink]
The reality is that people like Jeremy Davies do far more psychological and physical harm than their invisible demons could ever do.
Un-freeking-real. I guess he must've forgotten about all of the little alter boys that were raped. That only made the news recently. I'm sure that has been going for hundreds of years. I seem to recall one of the verses in the bible talking about a a couple of towns in engulfed in homosexuality and evil and sin. Even one of the heroes in that verse told the mob to back off the angles, cause he knew the men wanted them. He even offered his virgin daughters to the angry mob, maybe that was supposed to satisfy them. To top it all of, he ended up having children from his own daughters!!!!!! Oh, silly me, it must be ok if it's in the bible. No matter what it is.. incest, slavery.. whatever else you please.
It is AD 2010 Mr Myers. Fr Davies has a deep faith which he is sharing with everyone. Not all choose to embrace his message nor are we all expected to. In his special position which brings him to an awareness of certain matters I for one welcome his sincerity at sharing his thoughts and beliefs with us. I am sure Fr Davies's message was offered in the spirit of benevolence and kindness unlike your criticism of him. And no, Catholics do not tie anyone up and set them on fire. Christ didn't preach that. Misguided folk did.
Thank you for pointing this out on a thread from 2008.
How's that Haggis treating you?
Houston 1863 @ #337, thank you for warning us about Fr. Davies. Mr. Davies was talking matter-of-factly like he was making empirical statements. But as you say, he was merely letting us know of his "beliefs". Beliefs from which he makes a ton of money from working for Jesus. I'm sure Jesus had loads and loads of cash too.
Oh, and welcome aboard to pharyngula, Houston 1863.
Catholics do not tie anyone up and set them on fire. - Houston 1863
Well, they're not allowed to any more. However, the hierarchy still shields child rapists, demonises gays, oppresses women, lies about condoms, etc. etc.