What if Sarah Palin were your mom?

Claw Washout Palin - So I'd be a failure, but at least I'd be mean.

Stockyard Mudslide Palin!

um....

Scat Dubya Palin

She would have named me

shit moron wingnut

Crunk Petrol Palin

Coincidentally, my mother was a hockey mom, and she likes to shoot stuff. Happily, that's where the similarities end.

If you want a good snicker, try "Paul Zachary Myers".

"you little son of a" whoops did i say that outloud

I would be "Shaver Razorback Palin". Although I actually like what she named her kids. Half the people I know are John or Michael. This is the first time I've heard of a kid named Trig. :)

Clarification to #5: Try PZ's name one that site, I mean. I'm not trying to take cheap shots at our host!

Also my real full name, instead of handle, gets "Loin Falcon Palin" which leads to some funny/painful mental images.

I got "Plop Hero Palin."

"Plop"? Well, at least it's not "Cosine." (But maybe that's a girl's name.)

"gun" thats right I'd be Gun Palin

Ha! My real name is Christian Waters (really--my Catholic parents don't get the joke to this day and how ironic that I turned out an atheist) and the Palin name generator came back with "Timber Challange." I think Ms.Wingnut would like my real name better.

Pigpalin, is a disgusting human being. She knowingly has a genetically challenged kid and thinks it kind to give birth, when she could have easily had by now 20 plus normal kids. She has no sense.

"Strike Chipper Palin."

Sounds like something a curmudgeon would do.

By the way, I'm currently copying the tape of PZ performance yesterday.

Pigpalin, is a disgusting human being.

But did you hear that speech!?!?!?!?111

Lmfao, Soup Landmine Palin.

The hilarity of this is unprecedented. I'm in tears.

Bash Budweiser Palin. I win.

Taupe Armageddon Palin! Armageddon I get, but Taupe? A world ending battle between good and evil that is the color of an overcoat? Beats pink, I suppose.

I've been christened "Chin Trout Palin". Chin Trout.

Now I have a new name for my beard!

Sack Panther Palin speaking.

You know what this means -- ladies, I expect phone numbers in my inbox within the hour.

Typing in "Sarah Palin" gives: Flack Gobbler Palin
Coincidence?

Yep Gun Palin...oh life could be tuf specally at those county fairs,shootin things up an all. But the hardest part was my midle name,caused me alot o trouble 2,I'd like to forget my midle name.My midle name is sue.

If Sarah Palin was my mom?

I'd be considerably younger than I am now....

Vise Peeper Palin.

Snort.

I've been christened "Chin Trout Palin". Chin Trout.

Now I have a new name for my beard!

Chin Trout. Damn that is good.

Honey do you think my chin trout is too long.

um.....

Seriously, genesgalore, what the fuck?

It always bothers me to hear someone make value judgments about the worth of other people's lives, and in this case you sicken me. Why shouldn't she have had her child, or should have had "20 plus normal kids" instead? Choose your words with care.

Mullet Troll Palin here. Appearantly I would just be a run-of-the-mill creationist if Palin had been my mother.

Bang Walmart Palin.

I have to think about that one.

In other news,saw McCain on "The View",Gibson doing a journalist parody with Palin on the american ABC,and McCain has pulled ahead in Florida and Nth Dakota.I wish the true ugly reactionary anti-intellectual face of Palin wouldnt just be discussed in blogs or fringe media.If the mainstream media in the US dont get their act together soon,the world is in deep shit.

Hahaha, "Beretta Hockey Palin", gotta admit that's pretty awesome.

Beretta Hockey sounds like incredible fun. Just be sure to wear your flak jacket!

stuck pigpalin, rotf

Gun Sue Palin...WHAT? What did you say... ohyeah I didn't think so.

*sticks his chest out* *winks at miss Beretta*
*says awww shucks and kicks da dirt*

Bush Gator Palin
is my name

how evil...
"Jesus Christ" OR "George Bush" give "Open Aircraft Palin"

Other funnies:
"Charles Darwin" = "Stinger Assassin Palin" (I suspect that's coincidental)
and yeah, I'm childish...
"Breast" = "McCain Fortress Palin"

Hen Waffle Palin I am, and you'll be wise to pay attention when I clear my throat. I aim to say what I mean and mean what I say. Unless I get broody. Or am molting.

Cluck, cluck and a cock a doodle do.
When it comes to making goobermints,
Us pols know more than you.

Tee-hee

Oh, great, I must delurk... The Palins named their kids based on names of local towns. I was born not far from Cristobal and Colon (and there is an accent mark on the first "o" in Cristobal, and the second "o" on Colon... I have no idea how to put them in, to give you all a clue, I was born in the same general area as John McCain, www.czbrats.com/), just a few minutes before Oct. 12. To clarify, I was named on Christopher Columbus Day not far from a pair of towns named after what Columbus actually called himself.

While I really, really, REALLY hate the name Christina (hey, I'm over 50, that "a" at the end caused too much confusion!... though it does allow me to not help fill in the blanks when I introduce myself as "Chris", because I can truthfully say "My name is not Christine".)... I am so glad I was not named "Cristabella" !!!

Palin's choice of names makes more sense when you realize that they are where the kids were CONCEIVED.

On the track, under the willow, in the back of the plane (or snowmobile, Todd got lucky twice), in a motel in Bristol, and in a trigonometry class.

Froth Moonshine Palin.....I would have been much more popular in high school with that name.

Filter Skate Palin. Think I would get beat up at school?

Chase Rooster Palin

Sounds like an obscene command or jibe. Chase rooster, Palin!

Ron = Halter Grasshopper, but my unpruned Veronica gets Chisel Dustup, and I think I like that one better.

A chisel dustup is hard, sharp, and driven. I raise my eyebrow, you better duck. RRrrrrrrrrr.

Quidam @ #35,

I think you've hit the right naming formula here, except that the last one is a bit off.

I figure Trig wasn't a where but a how...see Todd was a bit quick on the Trig(ger) and there's number five!

Tank Dent Palin is ready & raring to get into action.

Denting tanks I love! The sounds as you hit'em! The swoosh & slosh noises, so cool!

Ur, we are talking water tanks arnt we?

Stwriley, I did wonder about Trig, you explanation does make more sense. After all what would Sarah and Ken be doing anywhere near a trigonometry class!

Permutations of my blog name give:

Recoil Mush Palin
Crust Scramble Palin
Shove Maggot Palin

I should just give up while I'm behind.

Using my given name, I get Rust Mustang Palin, nothing more all American than that. However, if I use my preferred nickname, I get Rock Crane Palin. Sounds a bit kung fu, doesn't it?

George Walker = Quarter Granite Palin

George Herbert = Charcoal Sniper Palin

Jesus = Axe Diesel Palin

Mohammad = Trowel Ogre Palin

John McCain = Steam Fangs Palin

God = Steam Fangs Palin

(Uh-oh.)

Hunger Tallest Palin... whatever that means.

Oh, and she named two of her kids Willow and Piper? That's pretty cool, they were both witches on TV...

It says I'd be "Falter Locust Palin".

I'd have guessed that she named two of her daughters after TV witches, but one of them is too old.

I have the sexiest name ever.....

Mullet Troll Palin

You can't get any better than that!

I put in My Name (Jehovah) and got back Rake Trinket Palin.
What the hell is a Rake Trinket?

I got "Bash Budweiser Palin", too. Horrible name, appropriate sentiment. After all, I'm waiting for my non-AC apartment to get cool enough to homebrew. ;-)

Awesome! I am Tarp Lazer.

Wood Corps Palin. Sounds kinda gay.

Speaking of which, I'm a gay hockey husband. My hubby also plays tennis and rugby.

Hmmm... and people in the "ex-gay" movement Palin's church endorses sometimes claim gay men can be turned straight by playing sports. But all those sports haven't managed to de-gay my beloved yet.

Not quite the same thing... but there's a contest over at Slate to name Sarah Palin's coming grandchild. Tbogg over at firedoglake.com put up a post asking for names.

My favorite:

Rapture Abstinence Johnston

...

If you'd a Rapture Johnston, you wouldn'ta gotten in this mess...

I'm another Rock Crane Palin.

I've been considering the Palin phenomenum. I believe I understand why so many right wing Republicans are enthusiastic about her:

a) McCain wasn't right-wing enough;

b) He wasn't beholden to the Christian right like Bush was, and;

c) wasn't willing to put his foot in a liberal's ass the way Bush was.

They are deliberately looking past McCain at his VP because they see another Bush II who is a puppet for the VP and power brokers behind the scenes. McCain now supports the conservative agenda.

I'm a homosexual. I'm an atheist. I'm voting for McCain/Palin.
...Yeah she may believe in Jebus Christ...but at least she doesn't think she IS jebus christ...

I would have been WMD Cessna Palin. I think I'm happy with Robert for a first name.

If Sarah Palin were my mom, I'd get pregnant and have an abortion.

Blaster Commando Palin.

Beat that bitches!

I must say though, my Palinhatred is ever increasing. It's really quite frightening that she could be...*I can't say it*

Khaki Salmon Palin here. This feels like some crazy redneck reunion :)

I'm Puck Mule Palin.

Fowl Overtime Palin.

I think we are just being a little harsh on Sarah, just because she (and her husband) have slightly unusual tastes in names.

homo @ #55:

if you consider your homosexuality to be an important part of who you are, by your choice of monicker, please reconsider your decision to vote for McCain/Palin instead of Obama/Biden

(but thinking that your post had to be a Poe)

Hehe. Yeah a little.

Slightly? Do you name your kids like horses or porn stars too?

Oh. Dear.

Fog Piles Palin

Why does this make me think of hemorrhoids?

OH. Apparently I'm Speck Backfire Palin. Homo apparently watches a lot of Fox news... and doesn't sound all that bright. Do you REALLY believe that Obama thinks he's the 2nd coming? Really? Maybe you just think he's too "uppity".

Luger@62, hang around for while. We're being gentle.

And Homo@55, did you happen to support Hillary, and now are trying to make a point by voting against your own interests?

I've dubbed those people the "nose-spite-face voters".

LOL!

If you input "Paul Zachary Myers" you get "Smoke Strapon Palin"

OMFSM. I'm Timber Challenger Palin.

Somewhere, one of my exes has just broken out in a cold sweat.

I'm Bush Gator Palin, apparently. And my wife is Stag Tonnage Palin. Excellent. Just call me Gator, folks.

Quidap @#35 says that the Palins named their kids based on where they were conceived. Does that mean the grandkid will be Chevrolet Backseat Palin?

I just put my son's name in, and got Engine Nighthawk.

And my husband was Hose Hotrod.

Good grief, he'll be impossible to live with if he learns about that...

I'd be "Plate Jungle Palin".

Hey, not bad. I actually wouldn't mind having Jungle for a middle name. A. Jungle Bastion. I like it.

I guess Plate could refer to Plate Tectonics.

But Query: How do creationists feel about The Origin of Continents and Oceans? Do they think believe Pangaea existed? Do they believethink believe god created the world as it now is? Do they think believe that god is done creating the world, so the land masses won't move anymore? Do they thin...?

Oh...I'm guessing that "Plate" might be "plate" as the "plate" on the pickup truck with the dead moose in the bed.

"Still Hardrock Palin" = unmarried name

"Chase Rooster Palin" = married name

Ahh! But spouse's married name comes back "Plop Hero Palin!"

Now we're talkin'!

Edward Current takes a cheap, funny dig at the Palins

Yours in duh lawd...

Beans Harpoon Palin

Moon Unit
Dweezil
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen

(really, but not really)

"McCain Fortress Palin" - I feel impenetrable.

Hook Tuneup Palin,

Doesn't he occur in The Pirates of Penzance? I think I may comment as Hook Palin henceforth!

Knife Pile Palin, and I sure would like to

I've dubbed those people the "nose-spite-face voters".

Considering what they're throwing away compared to what they're trying to protest, I'd say it's more "face-spite-nose."

Huh, her naming habits sound familiar...

My given name produces 'Fork Decoy Palin' which is pretty neat, but my Pharyngula posting name produces 'Rope Hoover Palin' which opens up many possibilities.

Curiously, Pharyngula produces 'Skunk Grunt Palin' which seems like a great name for a political blog...

Gravel Blood Palin is my Delta Tau Chi name apparently (or is that from a different work of fiction).

And on a separate note, surely there is one other thing to like about Sarah Palin, she is kinda sexy after all. Does that make me a bad person? I might disagree with her politics and religion, but she is nice looking. Why am I now thinking of that website about fucking Ann Coulter? Surely the Palin version would be more pleasant. After all, Palin seems to be a much nicer person than Ann. The policies don't seem all that difference, but at least she'd destroy your civil liberties and institute theocracy with nice make up and a winning smile.

Sadly, as someone a) concerned with the issues and not the packaging and b) not resident in the USA, this unfortunate and tawdry desire on my part would not affect my vote, even if I had one!

It's kind of depressing when having conversations with friends/family that many of them seem unable to get past the "but I'm like them so I'll vote for them" mentality and deal with the issues. Sarah Palin may have a lot in common with many of her fellow Americans, but sadly her stances on the issues of the day are practically neolithic. Ergo, she is a great marketing tool but sadly not the thinking man's choice of candidate or crumpet.

Louis

P.S. There may be elements of this post that are intentionally tongue in cheek.

Ergo, she is a great marketing tool but sadly not the thinking man's choice of candidate or crumpet.

And like with every advertisement, after a couple of weeks, most people are going to get bored with it.

homo #55,

And Obama thinks he IS Jebus Christ ? If that's your only reason to vote for McPalin, it's rather sad and completely irrational.

And Obama thinks he IS Jebus Christ ? If that's your only reason to vote for McPalin, it's rather sad and completely irrational.

It's far more likely that this is a desperate ploy by his mind to avoid consciously facing up to the fact that he just doesn't want to vote for that nig...um, elitist.

Or that he's a flat-out concern troll.

Staff Wrench Palin here.

..and given I'm a total slut I kinda like the phallic overtone of that.

What if Sarah Palin were your mom ?

Can we talk of something less... depressing ?
As a homosexual, she'd probably have obliged me to visit one of those "gay cures" she seems to be adept of, by now at 44, I'd be divorced empty number of times, probably still in the closet, of course fiercly anti-homosexual, with huge identity issues, permanently medicated for chronic depression, not something I particularly like to envisage.

Seagull Junker Palin here.

You know Guiliani's BS that somebody--anybody?--suggested Palin shouldn't be VP because she's a mother?

Rudy? It isn't that she's a mother. It's that, from all indications, she's a lousy mother.

Palin is a governor. That's actually a pretty big deal, even in a place as apparently casual about such things as Alaska. She has a family income in the neighborhood of $200k plus perks, which means that even if she weren't governor, she'd have at least middle-class resources.

So how come her two eldest aren't going to college? Think about it--if they were your kids and you had those kinds of assets, they'd probably be college-bound, no? Even if they were the most screwed-up kids on the planet, Palin could get them into the U of Alaska tomorrow with a phone call. But she won't do that much for her own kids (and she's clearly not above using her office for personal reasons).

And good families go to some pains to see that their kids aren't screwed-up. Here's what Palin did to Bristol: Took her out of school last year (long before the pregnancy), turned her into the primary caregiver for Palin's own special-needs baby, and is now marrying her off to some loser. As for Track--if my boy announced that he was enlisting, my ex-husband and I would bury our differences and take turns sitting on him until he changed his mind; some parents have pulled guns on recruiters who approached their kids. And under Bush, Army careers have become so bleak that they attract only those with not-great alternatives, So why doesn't a governor's son have better alternatives?

Palin likes to imply that she's got this typical American family, and her family matters are being handled in a typical American way. But they're only typical for people who are dead broke and have no idea that there's anything better. Most parents want (as part of the American Dream) for their kids to have fuller lives than their own.

Why doesn't Palin?

Askyroth,

most probably just the usual troll pretending to be someone he isn't.
I just reacted to his comment at face value, there seems to be this rampant attack on Obama, that he has exploited a kind of cult of followers.
So if a dem is not charismatic enough, like Kerry, they'll say he "doesn't connect with people". If he is, they'll say he thinks he's Jesus Christ.
As usual, the right wing noise machine prefers to spread this kind of disinformation, which people like "homo-my-a**" pick up, and avoid at all cost to have a rational debate about the issues.

Apparently, in the last few weeks of the campaign, 98% of all news was about the horse race, and 2% about the issues.

No wonder people like homo are representative of a significant portion of the electorate.

The more I observe this election, the more I'm disgusted, mind you, the fact that the American public accepts this and focusses so much on what's irrelevant, is probably the number one sign of the decline of the empire.

What we're hearing in Australia (from the US media) is that McCain is now leading in the polls - and while I don't necessarily believe that's the truth, that isn't the point. What is important is that the US public (and, I guess, the rest of the world) are being led to believe that it's close.

That way, when the Republicans use the same dirty tricks they used to win the last two elections, it'll seem like the 'reasonable outcome' of a 'close race' and that'll be the end of it - because there's no way the media will play it any other way.

I don't want to see a third straight republican president. The rest of the world doesn't deserve that any more than you guys do.

The rest of the world doesn't deserve that any more than you guys do.

One would assume that the fact that Obama is immensly more popular than McCain in the rest of the world (especially amongst the USA's traditional allies, Europe, Japan, Canada and Australia) would be an advantage for Obama if this election were about a rational debate.
But it turns out that for the republican voters, this is a reason not to vote for Obama and to be more supportive of McCain (how could the interests of the USA's key allies be the same as those of Americans ?), and for the independent voters, this is not a relevant argument (who cares about what the rest of the world prefers, Americans need to decide on their own, that's freedom).

@Negentropyeater #88

But surely having serial failed marriages, being closeted and seriously depressed, and projecting your own frustration outwards as homophobia would be better than being "Of Teh Gai".

After all, we are all aware that Jebus himself said "Teh Gai...NO!". Don't you want to make Jebus happeh? If you kiss boys it makes teh babeh Jebus cwy.

There,now don't you feel betterer? I pronounce you cured of Teh Gai!

;-)

Louis

Oh and whilst I remember, Negentropyeater, butt sex causes earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and crime. It's all your fault!

{shakes fist}

Damn you for enjoying teh man love! Damn you!

Louis

HannibalUltor - I got WMD Cessna Palin too. Seeing as how it's going to be hard to tell us apart how about we just call you Anthrax Palin and I'll go by Yellow Cake Palin?

I got Flex Gunship Palin and my friend got Krinkle Bearcat Palin

Neg wrote @ No 92 :

//But it turns out that for the republican voters, this is a reason not to vote for Obama and to be more supportive of McCain (how could the interests of the USA's key allies be the same as those of Americans ?), and for the independent voters, this is not a relevant argument (who cares about what the rest of the world prefers, Americans need to decide on their own, that's freedom).//

Thats true,and somewhat unbelievable,but at the same time a sign of the times,I think..

Im immensely enjoying reading "Collapse" atm,and his references to current-day America,its not obvious to many people that the Anasazi lasted longer than the current inhabitants of the USA,pretty amazing stuff.

I read an article by an American sociologist(in German,sorry)today who is arguing that the US is on the decline,that 28% of US citizens are factually illiterate,the workforce is increasingly unskilled,and we all know about the religious situation.

And this mob of anti-intellectual,illiterate retards will decide the future of the planet in 7 weeks time,its beyond scary.

Roller Texas Palin. Not sure what that means.

Clinteas,
What's the article? German isn't totally unknown to all of the Pharyngula loiterers...

Clinteas,

I'm not entirely convinced that if America continues to follow 4 more years of the same irresponsible economic and foreign policies as during the last 8 years, that it doesn't start correcting the disastrous effects on its society of religiosity, ultra-capitalism, consumerism, exceptionalism, and colonialism, in brief, that Americans continue to refuse to adapt to a new environment, that it will be that bad for other developped nations and the rest of the world.
If Americans refuse to adapt to a changing world, this will surely precipitate their decline, it can indeed cause great havoc for the rest of the world on the short term, but not necessarily on the long term.
I'm quite convinced that if Americans elect McPalin, this will have more disastrous consequences for them, than for us.

(Disclaimer: the one and only thing I like at all about Palin is that she gave her kids unusual names.)

She overdid it. Can you imagine how Trig and Track, for example, must have been teased throughout school!?!

Palin's choice of names makes more sense when you realize that they are where the kids were CONCEIVED.

On the track, under the willow, in the back of the plane (or snowmobile, Todd got lucky twice), in a motel in Bristol, and in a trigonometry class.

ROTFLMAO!!!

Not quite the same thing... but there's a contest over at Slate to name Sarah Palin's coming grandchild.

ROTFLMAO!!!

I'm a homosexual. I'm an atheist. I'm voting for McCain/Palin.
...Yeah she may believe in Jebus Christ...but at least she doesn't think she IS jebus christ...

In the improbable case you're serious and somehow glossing over her creationism and her belief that there can be such a thing as a holy war, for example, then I dearly hope you won't get the government you deserve.

Hehe. Yeah a little.

Slightly? Do you name your kids like horses or porn stars too?

ROTFLMAO!!!

I might disagree with her politics and religion, but she is nice looking.

Look at her again. Closer. She looks like an evil teacher.

Palin likes to imply that she's got this typical American family, and her family matters are being handled in a typical American way. But they're only typical for people who are dead broke and have no idea that there's anything better. Most parents want (as part of the American Dream) for their kids to have fuller lives than their own.

Why doesn't Palin?

Great observation.

echidna,

my apologies,i read it this morning,and cant find it,I thought it was in "Spiegel".

@David Marjanović #101,

She looks like an evil teacher? Indeed she does. Sorry, you're thinking this is somehow a BAD thing? Evil sexy older lady teachers....mmmmmmmmm. But only at weekends. One must maintain some semblance of self control.

Anyway, the SERIOUS point is even if she is nice looking, her policies represent some of the worst conservative drivel I've encountered, so don't vote for her dagnabit! The rest of it was that humour stuff I've heard so much about.

Louis

//Palin likes to imply that she's got this typical American family, and her family matters are being handled in a typical American way//

Most americans like their sons to use drugs and blow up buses,and their daughters to get knocked up while underage?Since thats happening in her family....I had no idea !
And the bad thing is,noone,absolutely noone,calls her out on this sham.

America has found her Margaret Thatcher in Sarah Palin. Our Iron Lady will be the first female President.

And I will laugh as all you lefties go into Palin Derangement Syndrome.

Really do you know how tiresome you all are? Everything that happens you say "must be global warming".

Don't bother me I am busy walling out social justice at our southern border.

Soup Landmine Palin.

Am I the only person who's noticed that the whole family treats the youngest baby like an inanimate prop? Small wonder she names her kids after random objects.

The part we saw of MSNBC's Palin special (all puns intended) last night talked about how she and Todd eloped to the courthouse with no witnesses and that their first child was born just eight months later. Like mother, like daughter: human reproduction is just roulette to these people.

Puck Mule Palin. Hmm, Puck is a fun character from Shakespeare, and mules are an interesting genetic experiment...

@ 105

You have broken Poes Law Sir !

Congratulations,if you faked this longstanding insanity visible on your page,then that is an outstanding effort,and blows Poe away...
If not,well,then you are insane.Or just whoring for blog traffic,of course.

Clinteas - A lot of families' teenage kids experiment with drugs, and most families' teenage kids have sex. And if handled badly, these adventures can really screw up your life.

Parents who love their kids will move Heaven and freaking Earth to keep that sort of thing from happening.

Palin, on the other hand, seems to be of the "you made your bed, slut, now lie in it--forever" persuasion.

That's how she apparently treats her own kids. You can imagine how she'd handle a Katrina-grade disaster.

Moose Roadster Palin.

I only associate the word "roadster" with Nancy Drew, so...weird images...Anyway, I'm Canadian and I can't vote in your election, but I can personally tell you that is McCain/Palin win, I will be looking into purchasing some property VERY VERY FAR from the border. If it already has a bomb shelter that'll just be gravy.

According to the web site I'd be Ripper Shook Palin. However, if Sarah Palin were really my mother then I would like to be called a mf.

Because she thinks she is snowing all of us:

Phineas T Palin

Posted by: TheWireMonkey | September 14, 2008 10:15 AM
"Puck Mule Palin."

I misread and thought you typed PUKE Mule Palin. Oops! lol

Pleased to meet you Puck, I'm Engine Nighthawk Palin.

Jesus Christ!! You get EVERYTHING wrong!!!

It's absolutely incredible. The cure for this Republic is to do the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything you say and do!!

Unless it has to do with zebrafish and/or slasher films. You'd probably get it wrong there too if someone made a slasher film starring zebrafish.

The cure for the republic is to not point to a name generator?

Jeep Pike Palin

I note there will apparently be no Palin children named Library Microscope Palin. I guess those words aren't in the Big Ol' Redneck Dictionary.

There is a grocery store in Rhinelander, WI named Trig's. Maybe she is raising her son to be its manager. (or assistant stockboy.) Of course, her son may have trouble handling the transition to the big city- Rhinelander's population is almost 8000, and it's the county seat in Oneida Co.

Bullpen Cola Palin here. Wife's name would be Stag Tunnel Palin.

I guess I'm still warming up and she's ... I'm afraid to imagine what she's doing.

ha! joey = commando coalfire palin. i wish she had been my mother!

Bash Budweiser Palin. I'd rather be Bash Pabst Blue Ribbon Palin, though. Just that little bit trashier.

Another Fog Piles checking in, how uh.. gross?

Trig would be cool if it were short for trigonometry, not Trigger. Roy Rogers horse, or part of a gun?

In Alaska, Trig is short for triganosis (they don't need to spell well in Alaska- they can shoot). Alaskans greatly fear triganosis, as it can be caught by eating undercooked bear meat.

Russell Brand Palin

#114 - Nobody Home Palin.
I got Drink Hack Palin, husband - Bowl Antler Palin.
Bride of Shrek, OM and SM look like the winners so far!

Thanks Clinteas for 'whoring for blog traffic' I'm stealing that from you. ;o)

I would be "Stick Palin"

Stick, Track, Trig!!!!! Time for dinner!!!!!

Actually, I've heard the name Trig alot in northern Wisconsin. There's a "Trig's" store in Minacqua, WI and a pharmacist named Trig who's begging my dad to work for Walgreens up there.

If Sarah Palin were my mom, I'd at least love her enough to tell her she has no business being in the white house and I'd probably still love her no matter how big a religious whacko she was.

I would be "Plop Hero Palin"

Crap.. hit the post button too soon.

I'd think 'Splorge' would be pretty good. Or perhaps 'Gorf'.

Thump Hummer Palin here :)

quite an ironic name for a lesbian LOL!

I also don't find any fault in Palin choosing unusual names for her kids. I think there should be more creativity in child naming. Then again, I am biased because my real name is Pepper and I grew up in the generation of children born to hippies and have/had friends named Harvest, Devender, Summer Raines, Misty Ponds, Damian Bluelake, Aleutia, etc.

There is much to fault in the rest of her personality, however. *shudder*

Dust Chinstrap Palin here. Just call me "Dust." I like the Dust moniker because Dust was the mysterious substance in the triolgy of fantasy novels "His Dark Materials" that so frightened the Magisterium (the Church) that controlled the world of the story.

And since these books, espically the first one (titled The Golden Compass in the USA) and the moive made from that book, have so upset the real fundies of this world who have tried to ban and repress the book/moive, I am proud to be kmown as "Dust."

Taupe Armageddon Palin

I think I'll keep my name.

Pimientita, your last name isn't Potts, is it? If it is say hello to Mr. Stark for me.

Another blog that played with this came with my ultra fav-o-rite Palin name:

Buster Taint Palin!

I love it!

She looks like an evil teacher? Indeed she does. Sorry, you're thinking this is somehow a BAD thing?

YOU PERVERT!!!1! I had no idea to what depths human beings can stoop. <shock> <horror>

And I will laugh as all you lefties go into Palin Derangement Syndrome.

Really do you know how tiresome you all are?

Yes. In fact... yes. Reality is utterly tiresome. And it has a well-known liberal bias.

Go cheney yourself.

Pimientita, your last name isn't Potts, is it? If it is say hello to Mr. Stark for me.

I wish! :)

I have to say that the comments I get on my name have much improved since Ironman was released. I did get some references to the character from fellow comic book nerds before the movie came out, but they were few and far between. It's a nice change of pace from the typical "Hehe...where's salt?" *rolleyes*

I can usually tell whether I am going to like someone based on how they comment on my name. So good job, tim! We're probably going to get along famously!

Ahem.

Pepper's given first names were Pippin Galadriel Moonchild. [...]
There are only two ways a child can go with a name like Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, and Pepper had chosen the other one: the three male Them had learned this on their first day of school, in the playground, at the age of four.
They had asked her her name, and, all innocent, she had told them.
Subsequently a bucket of water had been needed to separate Pippin Galadriel Moonchild's teeth from Adam's shoe. Wensleydale's first pair of spectacles had been broken, and Brian's sweater needed five stitches.
The Them were together from then on, and Pepper was Pepper forever [...]

I'm just sayin', is all.

Ammo Canal Palin

Bomb Locomotive Palin. I like it.

David Marjanović @ #134,

Pervert? Me? Yes. Again, you say this like it's a BAD thing. Perversion is nummy. Not only does reality have the liberal bias you mention, it also has a kinky bias. Even some conservatives have wide stances and a penchant for male escorts and crystal meth, and that's more perverted than even I am capable of.

That's why conservatives are so apparently down on sex. Banning stuff makes it naughtier and thus more fun. Imagine all that emotional guilt based frisson when the 19 year old, illegal immigrant, identical, Chinese, twin girls you bought from your arms dealer friend (who are spanking you with a rolled up copy of anything by Adam Smith) call you a very dirty daddy before pegging you rigid with a splintery broom handle strap on covered with tabasco, and then decide to give you a girl on girl on boy piss fest and mutual fist-a-thon whilst snorting coke off a pile of gay men's cocks shortly after these gents have performed what can only be described as a human demonstration of the principle underlying Da Vinci's helicopter.

....but enough about my weekend....

My point is that these perverts LIKE banning stuff so they get extra thrills. If all this good sexual shennanigans and general unethical rubbish were allowed, no one would enjoy it and the world would be vanilla.

Louis

What? No Pivot man?

It's a nice change of pace from the typical "Hehe...where's salt?" *rolleyes*

Well <extra-sober look>, unfortunately I can answer this question. I can tell you where Salt is. He's a creationist troll who occasionally visits Pharyngula -- not often enough to be banned. :-| Probably believes he's the salt of the earth...

Plank Castle Palin.
I tried with just my first name, Mullet Troll Palin.

#58 AdAstra sez:

Blaster Commando Palin.

Beat that bitches!

Consider yourself beat to crap and back. WHO'S DA BEEEEEE-YOTCH NOW!!!!!!! :-D

Package Wichita Palin?

Now, that's just reaching.

Variations on my name produced:
Bush Gator Palin
Blitz Harden Palin

Now I'm torn (not a Palin) as to which to choose.

Steak Leather Palin here. Do you think it knew that I've been a vegetarian for the last 30 years?

If you put in Track, which is I guess one of her kids names, you get "Meat Notgay"

WTF!?

Log Justice Palin FTW

I'll try not to let it go to my head...

Khaki Salmon Palin

Apparently I'm a pale shade of pinkish tan. Sounds like one of those ridiculous names for the color of make-up or paint.

"Charles Darwin" = "Stinger Assassin Palin"

HA HA!!! I got that too. I´m so honored.

I pluggen in Russell and got Puke Mule Palin. Then I plugged in Jesus and got Axe Disel Palin, LOL. The name god gets you Charcoal Sniper Palin, fitting in a way.
So whadaya think about that Speck Backfire Palin, I mean PZ?

My name is Per Hultqvist, and this my new Palin-name : Knife Pile Palin

I kind of like Knife as a first name...I might just go and change it officially...

Flex Gunship Palin! That's got to be up there!

Stinger Assassin Palin... hehe, it fits right in with my pacifistic/ ironic nature...

From #46:

Oh, and she named two of her kids Willow and Piper? That's pretty cool, they were both witches on TV...

I have been wondering if anyone else noticed that! And also wracking my brain trying to think of a TV witch named Bristol...

Sincerely,
another Khaki Salmon Palin

I'm so unlucky that if I were one of her triplets then I'd be the one the bottle...

Darwin would have been Spoon Archer. I think he would have killed himself, and Sarah would now be complaining about Wallace-ism instead of Darwinism.

The kids in Bristol
Are sharp as a pistol (???????)
When they do
The Bristol Stomp

Clearly our beauty queen heard that in a beer-induced haze. And it stuck. Bristol Stomp Palin.