Utterly juvenile humor for a Saturday night

Probably not safe for work. But you're not working now, are you?

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The poor guy was probably humiliated by all the laughter from the car.

Happy Monkey!

By John Morales (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

Happens all the time at C Street.

Is this what those young whippersnappers mean by a "hoody"? They all seem to want one.

I know just how she feels :(

Ahhhhhhhhh Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!

By Standard curve (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

Well, it seems they're european. Therefore shameless and godless. Good Christian American monkeys would never be doing that.

Well, it was either this or skinemax.

By chuckgoecke (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

What John at #3 said.

John Morales:

Happy Monkey!

The happiest monkey in the whole world. For about five seconds.

Well...at least it doesn't show them shitting all over the car, which is what most of them do. :(

I'm glad I'm not a fruit fly!

Monkey sex, this close to the holy birth of Jesus. I am not sure what the connection is, but I am sure that this is somehow a war on Christmas. Dirty nature, I bet you they weren't even married.

Soon as she gets a look at his new ride, she's like all enthusiastic. Moments later, nothing. Guess she figured out it wasn't his.

By JohnnieCanuck (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

Well, hang on - God made them, right? And they don't have free will or original sin, so they're dong exactly what God wanted them to do, right? So this should be straight up Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom fare, shouldn't it, suitable for Sunday school viewing? I mean, it's not like we're animals, or related to them, or anything like that. Right? Right?

Ah hell, why bother? Who was it said something about "If logic could convince the religious, they wouldn't be religious"?

Erm. "dong" = "doing". :) That might be a little Freudian, huh?

I hate to be picky, but those are baboons, not monkeys. That means it probably took place in Eastern or Southern Africa.

By mikesullivan46 (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

I haven't seen this much public Republican action in Washington D.C. since, well, ever!

Do you think they're members of The Family?

By BlueEyedVideot (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

I hate to get picky on your pickiness mike, but baboons are monkeys.

By Midnight Rambler (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

I remember when I was young enough to go that long.

By scooterKPFT (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

What language were the humans speaking? It doesn't sound like any European tongue. As for the other primates, whatever they lacked in connection they made up in nonchalance.

Farmer Ted who got an A in the animal husbandry class has a different accent than the narrator. I wonder where he comes from. Do you recognize the accent?

Lordy, Lordy... Monkey-whores!

By Michael Lonergan (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

The people were speaking a slavic language of some sort I think. Could be Russian, but I didn't hear enough to be sure.

It completely took me out of the "main attraction" when one of the women in the car started laughing nervously, sounding exactly like a chimpanzee. I spent the rest of the video just thinking about how little difference there really is between the non-linguistic vocalizations of the different ape species.

By Sclerophanax (not verified) on 19 Dec 2009 #permalink

So, finally we see the evolutionary underpinnings of female sexuality; namely, their attraction to fast cars.

(*Jumps on skateboard*)

By SaintStephen (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

The language is Polish. So, yes, a European tongue and, indeed, a slavic one. If you want to hear a very unusual European language go for Basque. Slavic languages are actually the language group spoken throughout the largest part of Europe. 'Hoody' means 'thin', BTW.

By deisidaimon (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Come on guys its obvious!,she knew what she was getting into, being that provocative, the hussy.

Any female that jumps on my bonnet (hood) like so would get the same treatment!, stands to reason.

She was asking for it!!!!

(dives for the door fast and low...!! ;-))

By Strangest brew (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

I am wotking right now, and ironically I can't see a thing. Does anyone east of the atlantic see this?

Jefrir @ 32: "The people were speaking a slavic language of some sort I think. Could be Russian, but I didn't hear enough to be sure."

No, not Russian and not Serbo-Croat either (the two slavic languages I occasionally butcher). Maybe Polish, as deisidaimon says in #36.

Pretty funny video!

By Ray Moscow (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

You want come to my place bouncy bouncy? My friends' car right here.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Coitus interruptus?

By SaintStephen (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

@ deisidaimon, #36:

"If you want to hear a very unusual European language go for Basque. "

You're not wrong there, matey:

"Sabelek jaten ez ba du, sabela bera ihartuko da. Oinak zerbitzatzen du eskua eta eskuak oina."

(I tried to learn it once, but gave up in despair).

BTW, was she going to give him a post-coital blowie at the end?

By Tim_Danaher (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Yes, monkeys fucking IS funny. Thank you, PZ, this makes me feel better.

By Alyson Miers (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

No, PZ, the male isn't prostrate from humiliation--he just fell asleep right afterward. Good thing that never happens with humans!

By recovering catholic (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Alyson Miers @ 43;

'Yes, monkeys f***ing IS funny.'

'Tis true, but before we laugh too hard at our simian relatives we should bear in mind that, to a truly objective observer (say an alien species for convenience) the sexual practices of other species of ape would probably be equally funny. Like say, I don't know . . . humans?

Just imagine if all alien xenobiologists had to gone on regarding human reproductive rituals was the porn we keep transmitting all over the place?

That might complicate first contact a little. Assuming that they still thought contact with a species of psychotic, nymphomaniac apes with delusions of intelligence was a good idea, of course.

And all the while all the UFO conspiracy theorists were worried about them probing us!

By Gregory Greenwood (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

This clip was totally cribbed from an episode of Jersey Shore.

By Antiochus Epiphanes (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

This reminds me of a film we saw on campus at New Mexico Tech. The films were always quite a party atmosphere, and the movie was pretty unmemorable, but one line from the audience was. A couple in the movie had just finished having sex, and the guy was sort of awkwardly getting up. Someone in the audience blurted out loudly: "Uhm, , , Uhm.... I gotta go...."

Cracked the whole place up.

By chuckgoecke (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Reminds me of the time I was at Busch Gardens and two Galapagos turtles we mating and moaning. A woman and a 4-5 year old were nearby and the kid asked "Mom, what are they doing?" She didn't miss a beat and said, "leap frog, honey, let's go find Daddy". It still makes me chuckle.

Just imagine if all alien xenobiologists had to gone on regarding human reproductive rituals was the porn we keep transmitting all over the place?

They would still be trying to fix their "broken" AI that was telling them that there was no information content in the vocalizations.

@24 Or a drive through zoo like African Lion Safari.Which given the denuded deciduous trees in the background would be my guess.

That should be 'had to go on' in my last post, not 'had to gone on'.

Traveler @ 49;

'They would still be trying to fix their "broken" AI that was telling them that there was no information content in the vocalizations.'

I hadn't thought of that. They would doubtless assume that such a transmission would have to be of intelligent origin and so would parse the whole thing for some kind of hidden message or obscure code.

I can just imagine a conversation between two alien computer techs now;

Boran; 'We've got another one of those weird human signals coming in. Damn AI better be up and running again.'

Falgnorg; 'I'm telling you, the AI's not broken. It says that there is no significant data content in these things. It is just disgusting images of the bipedal bodies of these apes. Damn but they're ugly. The females don't even have any nice mucous slicked tentacles or anything.

Boran; 'You know Falgnorg, your tentacle obsession is creeping me out. You're a real pevert.'

Falgnorg; 'I am not a pevert! What is so wrong with a bloke having a well developed appreciation for a good set of tentacles? Like that intern in administration. Just look at the cluster on her!

Boran; 'You've already been reported to the equal opportunities rep once this month, Falgnorg. Your going to get yourself fired at this rate.'

Falgnorg; 'Spoilsport. Wait a second, the AI has completed another analysis of the images, it says. Oh Cthulhu! It says that these are images of humans mating.'

Boran; 'Hold on. Are you telling me that they actually have sex like that? That's disgusting!'

Falgnorg; 'Actually, if you give it a chance it can be quite compelling. Almost hypnotic.'

Boran; 'Dude, there is something seriously wrong with you. We have to report this to the boss.'

Falgnorg; 'Wait a second. I want to see how this ends.'

Boran; 'And you are surpirised that you are still single because?'

By Gregory Greenwood (not verified) on 20 Dec 2009 #permalink

Why don't we do it in the road...