Hot octopus action

Warning: Explicit Sex Video involving Tentacles ahead!

Warning #2: Really Cheesy Narration ahead, too!

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The bmg is, at least, better than some human ones.

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

er, I mean bgm.

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

The narrator kind of kills the mood. It would be better if it was narrated by Isaac Hayes, may he rest in Xenu's eternal prison.

By SecularDad (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Wow. You weren't kidding about the cheesy narration. "I mean hot x-rated octopus on octopus good" and "Your goal is to get this appendage, called a hectacodylus arm into the females mantle cavity" are definitely the worst/best/cheesiest lines I've ever heard!

By PlantPirate (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Excuse me, guys - I gotta go change my undies.

By lagunatic (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

I can't decide if the narration is squeeze cheese in a tube with a side port cheesy or pressurized cheese in a can cheesy. Either way, it far cheesier than a block of real cheddar.

By Standard curve (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

I can certainly now understand why the James Bond film was named Octopussy instead of Mantle Cavity.

Also, it seemed to me that the male sort of enjoyed the "drive-in speaker dragging" at the end of his lovely tryst with the female. Either that or he was plumb unconscious.

By SaintStephen (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

The narrator kind of kills the mood. It would be better if it was narrated by Isaac Hayes Barry White

C'mon, baby.

By sidhracadian (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Octopus 1:"My Hectocotylus is bigger than your Hectococtylus!"

Octopus 2: "Your Hectocotylus wouldn't impress an Octopus Wolfi!"

Octopus 1: "Take that back!"

By CluelessPedestrian (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Cheesy as the narration was, I didn't get half of what was going on when I replayed it on mute. I fail at octopus reproductive techniques.

Remember guys, it's not the size of your third right tentacle that counts...it's all about the technique.

Now I have hectocotylus envy.

Oy! National Geographic actually hired that guy as a narrator? He sounds like he should be fully occupied doing the voice-overs for televised clips of blurry home videos depicting painful and humiliating accidents and pranks.

My goodness PZ, that's pretty hot stuff to trot out in front of us celibates.

By Patricia, Quee… (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

"The more sperm packets he can deliver..."

Teh cephalopod is a series of t00bs!

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Isn't hentai bad enough without a narrator?

By Pastor Farm (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Jacques Cousteau is spinning in his grave at that narration.

Jeebus, PZ! I come here expecting some good hot gay male tentacle porn, and I get this?

This is, well, all it needs is some garlic and olive oil. But it's still a tease.

You keep promising hot stuff but you always disappoint. I'm going to go stare at Isis' shoes. I'm that desperate.

By Uncle Glenny (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

"First he shows you his, then you show him yours."

Could they make it sound any more gay? NTTAWWT

First he shows you his, then you show him yours."Could they make it sound any more gay? NTTAWWT

No. Straight guys do this. Gay guys already know. Trust me. I won't tell.

By Uncle Glenny (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

God would not appoved of Nautilove. If God approved all of the cephalopod sex with all the tentacles and stuff he would have been born a manga fan, which he clearly wasn't since the bible was originally written in 16th century English and not drawn with teenagers with unnaturally large eyes.

When did Casey Kasem start narrating nature films?

By boygenius (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Jebus, how moronic is that narration. What's the target audience of NGC? I thought it sounded like a kids' show until he started in about "hot X-rated action".

Of course the narration is cheesy, National Geographic only do cheesy documentaries. National Geographic really should stick to photos and let some other organisation do the documentaries.

By maxamillion (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

As terrible as the narration is, at least it has given me a renewed appreciation for David Attenborough.

By Perplexed (not verified) on 17 Jan 2010 #permalink

Octoporn...? Not x-rated.

C'mon Myers...I can't fap to this.

Urgh. Why can't the USA produce a rival to Attenborough or Bellamy?

By ppgardner (not verified) on 18 Jan 2010 #permalink

I knew better but was still expecting something...somewhat different >>; *sigh* Pervy girl that I am.

Narration was indeed pants, though =P

By azumahazuki (not verified) on 18 Jan 2010 #permalink

Hey, at least it wasn't narrated by Gilbert Godfrey.