Mary's Monday Metazoan: I told her there's no way anyone will see anything sexual in this photo

i-ef2ea6f1a68ebcc36b502f5dacaa2b65-giant_clam.jpeg
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Such a big clam you have!

Gorgeous. Would be cool (and freaky) if these things were fast enough to eat scuba divers.

I use hydrogen peroxide to get rid of that green fur infection.

By scooterKPFT (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

It's a hairy clam!

I told her there's no way anyone will see anything sexual in this photo

Ahem.
I didn't adopt this nick for nothing.

I can see the remnants of the swallowed diver clearly.

By Rorschach (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Why is its pubic hair green?

The caption for this photo at the National Geographic page calls it "the largest of all mollusks."

Are they using some strange definition of mollusk that doesn't include cephalopoda? By size and weight, the colossal squid has the giant clam beat, tentacles down.

By nick.winnick (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Clams got legs?

JC

That sounds like a challenge.

By https://login… (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

In what crazy, topsy-turvy world could the word "clam" ever be considered sexual!!?!!

...surely you mean "other than the fact that I'd slip that oyster a bit of the old mother of pearl." Because I don't see any other possible explanation.

Oh I'd totally do that hot, algae encrusted, thick lipped....

Man I gotta go.

By jacksonskeptic… (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Sometimes a clam is just a clam.

I told her there's no way anyone will see anything sexual in this photo

Depends on whether or not you are a Na'vi

I have a tridacna maxima in my reef. If you read up on them, wow, they are very neat creatures. Just the way they grind the food particles up that they eat is amazing alone. The symbiosis tridacna's have with zooxanthellae they have just like coral.
I have a reef and every time I look at it, I think about how this must have played a role in the leap from plant to animal. Not sure if that is true, but it seems to be.
Google tridacna for some really nice looking clam pictures.

These things eat me up every time I play New Super Mario Bros.

By Rachel Bronwyn (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Think pure thoughts, think pure thoughts...

Ha, makes thinking of doing it all the better once the puritanism wears off.

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

By Glen Davidson (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

I think it's the largest bivalve mollusk (or mollusc).

By nlorenzo93 (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

JackC Author | March 15, 2010 9:03 AM:

Clams got legs?

Of course.

Eww. That comes way too close to accurately depicting an assclam.

By aratina cage (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Google tridacna for some really nice looking clam pictures.

Uh, that's not one of my usual search terms, but I'm game.

From the article:

Giant clams achieve their enormous proportions by consuming the sugars and proteins produced by the billions of algae that live in their tissues.

See, now why can't humans do this? Imagine: a quick inoculation of algae at birth and you'd reduce your need to eat, help sequester atmospheric carbon, and take on a healthy green sheen*.

*Added bonus: you'd be irresistible to girdle-wearing starship captains, should you be into a tumble in the back seat of a Constitution-class Chevy.

By Brownian, OM (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Why is its pubic hair green?

For St. Paddy's Day.

A clam is just a clam, but a cigar is a SMOKE.

By and7barton (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

...there's no way anyone will see anything sexual in this photo

Oh, I get it now. It's we who have the dirty minds, not you. See you Wednesday.

"I have a reef and every time I look at it, I think about how this must have played a role in the leap from plant to animal. Not sure if that is true, but it seems to be."

Not sure what you mean by this, but plants and animals diverged from each other WAY before animals and zooxanthellae evolved symbiotic relationships. It is cool, though!

By recovering catholic (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

That's one slutty clam, I know a wanton expression when I see one.

By Patricia, Igno… (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

It's spawning.
Regards,
Katkinkate

By https://www.go… (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

PZ and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamvulva.

...or something like that.

If anyone sees anything sexual in this green tinged object they should get help, and probably mongo antibiotics.

By Son of Murph (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

"I have a reef and every time I look at it, I think about how this must have played a role in the leap from plant to animal. Not sure if that is true, but it seems to be."
Not sure what you mean by this, but plants and animals diverged from each other WAY before animals and zooxanthellae evolved symbiotic relationships. It is cool, though!

Better: plants and animals diverged from each other WAY before there were plants and animals. That is, both plants and animals are derived--eventually, and among lots of other branchings--from some single-celled eukaryotic ancestor that lived maybe a billion years ago. They are entirely separate developments, and there was never any leap from one to the other.

Although recently there has been dome crosstalk:
http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/53496/title/Sea_slug_steals_…

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

I had a bite of that once...I'm still chewing.

By BlueEyedVideot (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Llewelly, I was going more for this but I liked yours a lot too.

Apropos of that. Nevermind the commentary - just read the cartoon.

JC

I am tempted to write more allusions to the words on the Euphemisms list.

Chet Pussy: All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy. This is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got...
[sniffs]
...smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!

And now, blue underwater pussy.

By cousinavi (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is that clam bearded?

By Charlie Foxtrot (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

I'm almost afraid to speculate about whether or not those are edible...
(almost)

By shegeek1000101 (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Is that clam bearded?

There's nothing sexual about that clam so obviously not.

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

Two words: vagina dentata

By Evil Merodach (not verified) on 15 Mar 2010 #permalink

I want your plankton inside me

Blue Waffle??

Google it. Actually don't. But you should. Just to satisfy your own curiosity.

Chet Pussy:

Isn't that Cheech Marin from one of Tarantino's vamp movies?

Two words: vagina dentata radula

(yeah, I know tha bivalves have no radula. But they sure as hell have no dentata, either. It's at least phylum-appropriate)

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 16 Mar 2010 #permalink

But they sure as hell have no dentata,

if one wanted to be creative, one could say they DO have teeth...

in the hinge.

:P