Only in Academia

Inside Higher Ed's regular "Quick Takes" feature is chock full of weirdness today.

From the "I Thought Mormons Were Nice" file:

The Utah Legislature has passed legislation allowing students at public colleges and universities to request that they share rooms only with students who don’t carry concealed weapons,
The Salt Lake Tribune. But lawmakers rejected a proposal to allow faculty members to bar guns from their offices or classrooms. The legislation follows a legal dispute in which the University of Utah asserted its right to bar guns from campus — despite Utah’s ban on state entities enacting gun restrictions.

From the "Well, Isn't That Morbid" file:

Oklahoma State University has announced
an unusual approach to supporting its athletic programs: 25 alumni have each obtained $10 million life insurance policies on which the university will pay premiums, and its athletic department will be the beneficiary. The “Gifts of a Lifetime” program was the idea of T. Boone Pickens, who last year announced
a $165 million gift to the university for athletic facilities.

And from the "Lawyers Have All the Fun" file:

In an unusual legal challenge to the authority of the police chief in Fostoria, Ohio, lawyers are seeking to bring a police dog to court because the dog and the chief both have a degree from the same online college, the
Associated Press reported. The degree awarded to the dog gives “one pause, if not paws, for concern,” said one legal brief.

Know of something weird that happened in your corner of academia? Consider this a "Strange Academic Stories" open thread.

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In considering story #2, an image comes to mind. Thousands of students throng a darkened amphitheater, waiting expectantly. Suddenly the marching band bursts into Ride 'Em Cowboys. Pistol Pete comes riding in on horseback, and fires a pistol into a pile of wood, which bursts into flame. And thus 25 alumni are cremated and sent to Sooner Valhalla, as the band plays and the students scream wildly.

What is a "weapon?" A soda straw is adequately lethal. A Bic stick opens a Kryptonite lock faster than its key. Is a cheap pen a burglary tool?

One does not ban weapons, one requires them. An armed society is a polite society - and its streets are safe to walk at night. When government fears citizenry armed at their own expense, it should.

You missed the best part of the third story - the dog had better grades!