Turnabout, after all, is fair play.
An easy answer would be to just copy the worst reason for doing just about anything else: "Chicks dig it." Ironically, it's also one of the more effective ways of getting guys to do things, particularly college-age guys...
But I'm sure somebody else can come up with some entertaining snark, so have at it.
- Log in to post comments
More like this
In which the skewing of a data plot in Ron Unz's epic investigation of college admissions makes me more skeptical of his overall claim, thanks to the misleading tricks employed.
------------
Steve Hsu has a new post on a favorite topic of his, bias against Asians in higher ed admissions. This is…
In addition to watching and reading about college basketball, I play a fair amount of pick-up basketball these days-- I try to play three days a week at lunchtime, and most weeks I manage two. Often, the noon hoops game is the highlight of the day, and I suspect I don't want to think too deeply…
I'm starting to think that maybe I need to add "Work-life Balance" to the tagline of this blog, given all the recent posting about such things (but then, one of the benefits of having done this blogging thing for eleven years is that I know this is just a phase, and I'll drift on to the next…
Mark Trodden gave a nice outline of the tenure process over at Cosmic Variance, laying out the general criteria used by most colleges and universities:
The typical criteria in physics are:
Excellence in research, as demonstrated through peer-reviewed publications and (by far the most important…
"It's progressive."
"To spite God"
"To spite my Christian parents."
My parents told me there is no god, and I never thought to question them. Or insert anyone else for "my parents" in that sentence, ie other family, a teacher, some guy with a blog, etc.
Like so many other questions, South Park has already answered this. "To seduce Richard Dawkins."
Because you hate Bush (and Bush supporters).
Because "religion is responsible for all the suffering in human history."
Because your parents are religious.
Because it's just so obvious where the universe came from and why it obeys physical laws, that there is nothing mysterious worth speculating about.
Because you created the universe, but you forgot how, and are in denial.
Because it's so darn hard to choose between Thor, Zeus and the rest of the gods.
Because God told me to be one.
Because I found a watch in a field, but it was broken.
I wanted to be part of the secular progress effort to make war on Christmas.
because Pascal was giving good odds
"Because all the cool kids are doing it."
Because I hate you, Kap'n Karl!
Because a book written two to four thousand years ago by priests from a Bronze Age culture told me to.
I am an atheist because anybody venturing one is stuck with infinity thereafter. Given a priesthood tossing $100 bills ino the congregation without limit, I'll reconsider.
Because you think church is boring.
(Actually I'm an atheist and I think church is interesting)
Because it saves money.
To fit in.
Because god doesn't exist any more. I ate him for dinner last night and there are no leftovers.
Because I'm too fucking humgover on Sunday morning.
Because Ann Coulter isn't.
Because Ann Coulter isn't.
We're looking for the worst reason, here...
"I was serious about it. I was also really, really stoned." *
Because Christian music sucks. Bad. Really!
Because Jesus Dress-Up is just too much fun!
Because Pat Robertson/the Discovery Institute/my pastor equates science with atheism, and I want to be a scientist.
Because some group of Christians did something bad, therefore all Christians are evil.
Because my boyfriend left me for an uglier chick!
Because I love baiting religious people, and Satanism is SO 1980's...
(This is fun!)
Because my parents are.
Because if I admit that maybe, just maybe, I admit that at times I've truly thought there is a "higher power" (and we aren't talking exponents here) my friends will ridicule me and I need their approval and validation to feel important in what has otherwise been a vast and impressive universe in which I am but a tiny piece.
I think thats long enough. Could also be
I'm afraid to not be an atheist will seem immature/silly.
Because it's first alphabetically. (Agnosticism doesn't count since it doesn't really take a stand).
Because if there is no higher power I retain control over myself and can continue drinking.
Because Madalyn Murray O'Hair was such a hottie...
http://tinyurl.com/ywrvoz
Because atheists don't ask for donations.
Because I think the actual truth of the matter is that god does not exist, but if he does, I'll bet he prefers people to pursue the truth and be open about what they believe it is (even if they're wrong).
Because of, like, entropy and stuff.
Because of what happened to Bambi's mother.
Because, just like the government, Christians just want my money.
because you feel confident asserting a universal negative even though negatives are unproveable
Because I'm into sado-masochism, and by denying the holy spirit our loving Lord has guaranteed an eternity of razor tooth demons shredding my genitals while flogging me as I roast over white hot flames.
Because, if God is real it would be apparent. He wouldn't need a legion of Amwaylike missionaries badgering the sh#t out of me.
"If there's a God, why do bad things happen?"
-my ex-girlfriend.
Because it pissed off the fundie in-laws so they stopped coming to and ruining my Thanksgiving celebrations?
Because I took Intro to Philosophy and they told me there is no truth.
I was out of ideas at the time.
Because, like, science has proved there's no God. Um, physics, I think.
Because of Ayn Rand.
Maybe I'm not getting into the spirit of things (not a regular reader of this blog, sorry if there are a lot of spoofers I don't know about, etc.), but 8 and 37 seem like pretty good reasons to be an atheist.
To pretend you are superior to religion. Atheism has it own evangelists, its own fundraisers and wekkly gatherings, its own 'tomes of wisdom'. And there's no way to prove a God doesn't exist but they believe it strongly.