Everyone's Best "Friend"

"OK, here's your profile.""

"You used the good picture of me, right?"

"Of course. Look here."


"Oooh. I like that one. I look regal."

"Yeah, I guess. So what do you want to add?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you can add applications, and become a fan of various things. Here, I'll make you a fan of Physics."

"OK, but isn't there better stuff. How about steak? I like steak! Make me a fan of steak!"

"Ummm... Well, there are over 500 results for 'steak.' Which do you want?"

"All of them! Click them all!"

"Why am I the one doing this again?"

"Because I can't work the mouse."

"All right, look, I'm not going to click all of them. We'll just do the top three, OK?"

"Fine. But you have to make me a fan of cheese, too. I like cheese! And bacon!"

"Oh, all right. Here."

"Bacon steak and cheese!"

"How about some applications?"

"What are those?"

"You know, games and stuff. Here, you can play poker."

"Dude, that is so cliché. What else is there?"

"Lots of things. You can add Ph.D. comics, or xkcd. You can follow blogs. And there are silly things, like SuperPoke."

"What's that?"

"It's silly. You can poke people, and they can poke you, and you can also throw sheep at people, or... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Dude, anybody who starts poking me is going to get bit. I wouldn't mind a sheep, though."

"Well, it's not a real poke, or a real sheep. And the only people who can poke you are your friends."

"I have friends?"

"Well, not yet, but that's sort of the whole point of Facebook. It allows you to make friends with lots of different people."

"Oooh! I like that! Friends give me treats. How many friends do I have?"

"At the moment, just me."

"Awwww.... Nobody loves me."

"Oh, stop. You don't have any friends because you just started. But here, we can get you some friends. We'll ask Sean, and Jennifer, and Dave, and..."

"Wait a minute. Ask? What's with the asking?"

"Well, you have to send a request to people you want to be your friend, and they have to confirm it."

"Why do I have to ask them? I am an excellent dog. People should be asking to be my friend, not me asking them."

"I'm sure they will, but they don't know to ask unless you ask them first."

"Hmmph. I don't like this. Can't you just put it on the blog, and have them come to me?"

"Well, I suppose, but it's not really the way it's done..."

"Do it now!"

"OK, OK, take it easy... You know, maybe that's enough Facebook for now."

"Yes, I think so too. No more typing. Rub my belly."

More like this

"What'cha doin'?" "Huh? Oh, I'm playing with the Spore Creature Creator. It's a videogame thing, that lets me design little computerized critters." "What sort of critters?" "All kinds of things. I could even make one that looks sort of like you. Here, take a look." "Oooh! That's neat. I should have…
I'm sitting at the computer typing, when the dog bumps up against my legs. I look down, and she's sniffing the floor around my feet intently. "What are you doing down there?" "I'm looking for steak!" she says, wagging her tail hopefully. "I'm pretty certain that there's no steak down there," I say…
As I'm driving down the street, a squirrel darts out into the road a block or so ahead of me. From the back seat, the dog says "Gun it!!!! Hit the squirrel, hit the squirrel, hitthesquirrel!" "Will you sit down and be quiet?" We're having some work done on the house, and I'm taking her to work with…
I'm waiting for the toaster when the dog trots into the kitchen. "You should give me some bacon!" she says. "Why is that?" I ask. "To prevent swine flu!" "Look, there's no chance that I'm going to get swine flu from eating pork products. I know you saw some people on the Internet saying that they'…

Finally, someone who values Facebook for what it is.

aww! If my aversion to posting personal info on the internet weren't so great, I would want to join facebook just so that I could friend Emmy. Would a cat-proxy be acceptable to Emmy (who looks very regal indeed!)

aren - would your cat have the energy to create a facebook page?

Evidently Emmy's right - this is precisely the way facebook friends are made.

Bunnies! You forgot bunnies! And probably squirrels and running and long walks on the beach. Um. I mean walkies.

If I could figure out Facebook, I'd ask Emmy to be my friend. Sadly, I appear to be too old.


That photo is a great dog portrait!

Looks quite a bit like my Malamute-Shepherd dog Tucker. Those brown eyes and all.

But now Tucker will be begging me to set up a Facebook page for him! Just after I had finally convinced him that he didn't need his own blog...

OK, I can't resist having a dog as my friend. Especially one who likes quantum physics.

But I thought, on the internet, no one knows you are a dog.

I sure hope Emmy confirms me as her friend. I'm so nervous!

By marciepooh (not verified) on 12 Mar 2009 #permalink

The power of the internet is nothing compared to the power of the belly rubs.


By David Owen-Cruise (not verified) on 13 Mar 2009 #permalink

Dammit, now I may have to join facebook. I was hoping to wait until it merged with VR so that you met "friends" by actually walking out into the real world. I guess that will never happen...