Ernest, the purple aardvark
Had a long and hairy nose
And if you ever saw it,
You would really say "Boy I bet you could eat some ants with that thing..."
All of the ants in Tasmania
Use to run away when they saw him
Because if they ran to slowly,
[Loud slurping noise] Ernest ate them up.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
"Ernest, we have a terrible infestation of termites at the North Pole,
Can you come eat them up while I deliver toys to good boys and girls?"
Then how the elves they loved him,
And they knitted him warm nose cozies
Because aardvarks normally live in tropical climates
And they're not used to the North Pole.
Ernest, the purple aardvark,
You'll go down in hiiissss-toooorrrr-yyyyyyyyyy!
Improvised last night for The Pip's entertainment, transcribed here because Kate mentioned it on social media. I blame Dante Shepherd for this. Also, there may have been wine.