Things You Don't Want to Hear, Part VI

Things you don't want to hear while interviewing a new patient:

1. "Oh, I must have forgotten to write that down."

2. "My neighbor swears by it so I started last year."

3. "My father? Uh, he died young."

4. "I like it when you return my calls promptly."

5. "I know - no one ever believes me. But, here - I'll show you."

6. "I want you to have these handouts I found on the internet."

7. "My son wants you to call him - he worries about me."

8. "That's my wife, Doc - not my mother."

9. "You look cute in that shirt and tie."

10. "This is the first time I've left my house since 1956."*

*true story; a patient I saw four years ago. I won't say any more since no one would believe me anyway...

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I love the list! All true.
I once had a veteran who hadn't seen a doctor since his induction in the Korean War. He came for a cold or something. He had a huge neck mass. I asked him, "How long has that been there?" and he replied, "How long has what been there?"